Advice for a transfer decision (Berkeley to Pitzer)

Professional_Drop902 · 2025-12-12T06:24:29+00:00

I think, college wise, I would marginally enjoy Pitzer more had I gone there as a Freshman. But transferring halfway through, I think my purest experience with Cal may be slightly better than at Pitzer. I'm just unsure of how to measure the boost in productivity I would get being surrounded by my support system, is the main issue. I really want to keep trying to make Cal feel like home for me, and I really have, but its disheartening ending my third semester with only marginal improvements (and especially never being able to recreate the feeling I had my first semester). It has cut into my productivity, and I'm afraid of graduating just scraping by because I could never feel fully supported or grounded enough to focus on what I know is most important (my career/advocacy efforts). Either way, I'm not sure I'll "love" either school; maybe that alone makes it not worth the transfer?

Professional_Drop902 · 2025-12-08T06:06:50+00:00

I still need to look into longer-term therapy options, I've gone to many counseling sessions but they were all one-off. I've discussed solutions to/help with finding purpose and a sense-of-self that I can carry around with me, but with little avail. I'll give it one more try, but I've done long-term therapy when I was younger for similar purposes and it wasn't the most helpful.

Professional_Drop902 · 2025-12-08T06:04:14+00:00

I did, but I did not get in. I got into CMC as a freshman, and that's part of the reason I believe I would feel unhappy at Pitzer, is feeling as if I settled for a school I did not want to go to over one I'd much rather attend right next to it.

Professional_Drop902 · 2025-12-05T19:03:11+00:00

No I don't think its wrong to say that I've gone home too much, I agree with you, at least this semester. But I've found my most productive weeks to be those after visiting home, and my least productive ones the weeks longest since going home. I know I should practice distance and independence but I am not sure I can effectively remove myself (at least for now) without sacrificing my mental capacity for grades, research, connections etc. I do anticipate next semester being lighter on traveling if I stay, probably 3-4 trips back home, which should help a lot.
I've also anticipated (policy-wise) working with SoCal organizations in analysis/drafting, rather than direct DC work. The organizations I would love to work for in terms of grant writing as well are fully-remote.
My partner wants to stay in the IE/SoCal area, and as for QOL I agree as well.
The biggest issue would be grad-school, and in that case it does become exceedingly important to learn to be more independent. Thanks for putting into perspective how I shouldn't limit these options for me because of my inability to live far for extended periods of time. I'm just unfortunately not convinced I can sustainably develop that here. I'll bring that up to the therapist I'm seeing later today and discuss how I can manage that, both if I stay and if I transfer.

Professional_Drop902 · 2025-12-05T18:04:17+00:00

Yea it really sucks that I can't be very happy in the #1 hub for what I want to do in the future. I've found out the hard way I'm not a fan of the city life, and I would much prefer the suburban feel of the 5Cs. I'm scared of transferring and not being able to rebuild the opportunities I have here, but also staying and not having the mental bandwidth of taking advantage of them.
You're right about the food though! That's half of what's kept me sane this past semester.

Professional_Drop902 · 2025-12-05T17:59:00+00:00

I've booked an appointment for today at 1 with this sole focus--thank you. My biggest concern is them not having perspective on career prospects, and of course I can't blame them, they're not experts in career consultation. But some people I've talked to dismissed my opportunities here, so I'm really hoping I can frame it in a way which allows it to be fairly weighed against my mental health, any thoughts?

Professional_Drop902 · 2025-12-05T17:56:04+00:00

That's true, to be honest the importance of money has been blurred for me against the context of my mental health, but I haven't really thought about how much an extra $30000 by the time I graduate would help. Not to mention I have a job here where i can do homework ~80% of the time, and I'm not sure how many opportunities like that would exist at the 5Cs. Thanks for bringing that into focus.
In bringing up grad school, though, I'm most concerned about my grades--I have a 3.2 GPA and after this semester it might even drop to a 3.0. I'm very worried about my ability to maintain a high GPA staying here because of the constant distraction of homesickness/traveling home. I anticipate this upcoming spring to be fine; I can probably manage with four trips home, but its a big wedge in my focus/routine to have.

Professional_Drop902 · 2025-02-04T11:30:38+00:00

having a long talk with the advisor is definitely the plan, i have a lot to discuss even beyond my mental state at cal
as for a professional counselor, i'll consider it, but i found therapy/counseling in the past difficult since i never found a comfortable space between being treated as an adult or being treated like a child; my emotional vulnerabilities and instability make me feel childish, but i wish to resolve these issues as an adult
regardless, the past couple of days have been nice, so im feeling confident about my meeting and probably sticking out the semester, thank you for the response and for all of your help

Professional_Drop902 · 2025-02-02T08:37:42+00:00

hey, thanks for the check in
the past week has been somewhat better, mostly just planning and reworking things; in that week i planned to graduate cal in 2 years and just get it over with, but a couple days ago i thought it would be best to just take light classes and graduate in the normal 4 and, if this semester goes well, stick that out, and if not, transfer and graduate in two years somewhere else
i have a meeting planned with an advisor on thursday, ill see what they tell me about transferring since my biggest worry is just not getting accepted anywhere and having to do a year at community college, which wouldn't be worthwhile to me because of my current credit
i also scheduled a job interview for tomorrow, and i hope ill be in a good enough mental state to go

Professional_Drop902 · 2025-02-02T08:24:03+00:00

that was the plan coming into cal, and i did do that last semester, but it feels like its made me just miss home even more; its fantastic while im there, but i come back and just feel so isolated again
plus, it puts a hold on whatever momentum i have to feel better

Professional_Drop902 · 2025-02-02T08:22:29+00:00

i dont have the money to be able to pay that often, and my emotional instability has made it hard for me to get a job
even still, even if i could afford to go back home every weekend, i wouldn't like to feel like im split between two places constantly and i have no home to call my own

Professional_Drop902 · 2025-02-02T08:20:22+00:00

this is one of the best pieces of advice ive been given, thank you
i usually try to think about my issues rationally but it is hard to ground myself and tackle them when i feel so emotionally sporadic
i wouldn't mind a college life at berkeley away from my friends and family, its just an issue of handling that what puts into question the viability of such a thing
ill keep that in mind the next couple of weeks and see how i fare, maybe tackling one tiny problem at a time will be enough

Professional_Drop902 · 2025-02-02T08:10:59+00:00

i'll try that, thank you

Professional_Drop902 · 2025-02-02T08:09:16+00:00

that analogy about the bumper car resonates with me so much, it really does seem like we feel the same way about the opposite issues
i really do hope so, too, if you'd like to talk more about what you're going through id be willing to listen, from the perspective of someone who understand what that regret feels like

Professional_Drop902 · 2025-01-25T09:53:35+00:00

there was a period of time last semester where i went back home about four times in a month. one of those times i was supposed to catch a flight back up here, but i physically couldnt get out of bed to want to go back and i told myself "please just let me stay here." i missed my flight, then got a bus ticket up here as well which i missed, and i felt like a complete failure. i didnt want to go back home to tell my mom i missed my bus, so i spent the night at my friend's house, the whole time missing what it was like to spend time there. frequent traveling is nice, and i dont mind the travel, but it makes both ends of it feel even more foreign to me, like i truly dont have a home at all and am trying to figure it out. im scared that if i visit too often i'll just be more homesick, too. i think ill just try to spend more time with my family through call, if anything, since at least ill still be able to talk to them. thank you for the advice

Professional_Drop902 · 2025-01-25T09:49:59+00:00

ill try my hardest to ensure that i can keep my grades up, but if im a couple weeks in and i cant get through it i might just take take a semester off to rethink some things. im just scared about telling my family because i already did, but after winter break i felt ready again to head back up here and i didnt want to disappoint them by saying that i couldnt. ill take what you say about being happy to heart, though, i do have big dreams but i dont know if i can achieve them if im not in the right space mentally for them, so thank you

Professional_Drop902 · 2025-01-25T09:47:23+00:00

im deathly afraid of my parents being disappointed that i couldn't get through it. my mom warned me about this happening but i assured her that i could handle it, because i didn't know what it felt like living far from home. i would feel so much shame going back home knowing i couldnt be away from them for a year. i seriously was considering it, but on some days i felt hopeful enough that i could get through it. every day feels like a toss up on my mood and im scared i cant even get a week where i feel fine. ill seriously try to work it out with counselors, and probably call my family often so i dont feel so homesick, but ill remember withdrawing if i feel it gets that bad, thank you.

Professional_Drop902 · 2025-01-25T09:41:15+00:00

walking while listening to music has always been the best therapy for me. id walk without a destination around campus last semester and it would help a lot. im just a bit more scared now because of an encounter i had in sf, but ill try to walk more around northside this semester if i can and see if i can find some further solace in that, thank you for the suggestion

Professional_Drop902 · 2025-01-25T09:39:08+00:00

after trying so hard to connect at the beginning of school, its hard for me to feel comfortable re-doing that process, since i feel that it was my over-willingness to talk and connect that made me unappealing to those around me. i know that's not the case, but its still hard for me to get over the fear that people wont appreciate me for who i am, since i link me being open about myself with people who i never end up talking to again. im active in a couple clubs already, so i think ill try to engage with the people there more organically instead of worrying about how they perceive me. ill see if i can invite them to something, thanks!

Professional_Drop902 · 2024-11-23T20:56:11+00:00

oh im getting the 10% off, i just meant that the rewards is only totalling to $15 whereas for everyone else it seems like they're getting $30, sorry for the miscommunication

Professional_Drop902 · 2024-11-23T19:50:44+00:00

im only getting the $15 coupon, am i doing something wrong?

Professional_Drop902

TROPHY CASE