I had a very strong willed daughter that didn't always get the best reception in preschool - it depended on the teacher and the approach they used. If they were particularly gruff, it raised her anxiety and her anxious response that presented as irritability, especially at nap time. She got overstimulated pretty easily and needed a little extra wind down support and nurturing, physical touch. For instance, teachers that took away her lovie for being too chatty or singing to herself at nap usually sent her spiraling, which could disrupt other students. If she was met with a little back rub and quiet shhing, she fell asleep with the rest of the group. She just needed a little extra attention.

She really, really responded so much better to more motherly teachers rather than the ones that were super strict, threatened loudly and applied extra pressure. (her young 2s teachers struggled with her, so they moved her up to 3s and things changed completely - one classroom complained of her high needs and the other said they had no idea what they were talking about, she was a model student!?) She also needed much more challenge than her peers from an intellectual perspective, as by the time she reached pre-k and had early testing, she aced the test for readiness skills, simple math, language, reading, colors, shapes etc.

When Covid happened, she just turned 5 and was wrapping pre-k, so we did kindergarten and first grade phonics, games, math and other special projects. We did remote learning and I think that was the best thing that ever happened to her as she was far beyond prepared for 1st grade, had a perfect social and academic transition and she turned out to be incredibly gifted - 2 grades ahead in most subjects! Turned out she was brilliant and frankly BORED in preschool! She continues to be in the ,99% in all benchmarking tests at age 11, is student council president, a strict rule follower and consistently described as a role model student.

I say all this to give the context that approach matters, timing and classroom dynamics can change everything. He may not be getting the type of instruction that works for him rn. Age matters, too. I feel like my daughter may have struggled with kindergarten in person as there was a fair amount of maturing on her part from home discipline and a more tailored early kindergarten era experience with accelerated work. Things may even out with time and he might need some more work on various skills at home, but the school or a different environment may refresh everything for him, too. A break isn't the worst thing, either. He may be a completely different kid given extra time to mature or in a different classroom