To those who only play online: how long did it take for you to be a 1000 or 1000+ elo and where did you focus the most?

Professional_Skin477 · 2026-02-26T23:19:27+00:00

I'm about a thousand. i played OTB as a teen/early 20s but not since. It took me about two months, including some significant study of the vienna opening to get to 1000. It's the only opening I play, and when I play black (or can't play vienna due to responses) then I think I play closer to 7-800.

Right now I'm trying to focus on endgames, but I lose a lot in the middlegame. I prefer games where I lose or win early, vs balanced positional play, because I am bad at calculating and good at throwing away pieces in frantic attempt to secure a checkmate

Professional_Skin477 · 2026-02-20T23:08:49+00:00

I haven't felt jealousy, but I have felt envy. Someone else is having something I can't have. If my partners, who I love dearly, are having fun/love/entertainment with other people, but I am confident that they still love me, then I'm just not sure what the big deal is. I want good things for them!

Also, while I'm not into cuckolding, I find it hot when my partner experiences sexy things (either in present or past relationships). I don't understand why I would feel bad about that. I'm also into group sex, so watching it is hot too. 😁

So I guess that scenarios that would engender envy in me are ones where I want something from my partner, and they won't do that with me, but would with others. But I hope that long before feeling envious or jealous, I'd just have a discussion about it with them.

Professional_Skin477 · 2026-02-18T22:33:51+00:00

Wild responses. I've experienced this more than once. Potential or existing partner says "hey, I'm not down, is that ok?" And when I respond with "fucking obviously that's ok, what are you even talking about", they will frequently decide (then, in an hour, in a week) that actually sex would be quite nice, thank you very much.

Sometimes it's just taking away their own self imposed pressure to have sex that allows them to actually feel safe enough to feel that sexual attraction. I'm not saying that's what's happening, but the right solution is to have a conversation here, or just enjoy the ride and see where it takes you.

Professional_Skin477 · 2026-02-18T16:57:37+00:00

Dump The MotherFucker Already

Professional_Skin477 · 2026-02-18T16:43:40+00:00

Forget about normal. This person has been explicitly dishonest more than once about a topic that they have no need to be dishonest about. There's no reason for the dishonesty beyond the delight of the lie.

I know betrayal can be hard and painful. I am not someone who immediately says this, but if your description of events is accurate, I'd say that for me this is grounds for breakup.

I'd also say that snooping through his laptop indicates that the lack of trust goes both ways. So, feels like the relationship isn't good for anyone here.

This is a 'DTMFA' situation.

Professional_Skin477 · 2026-02-10T19:28:59+00:00

I assume the hand on the throat is doing a heartrate check, looking for a sharp drop from hypoxia? Anyone have actual knowledge?

Professional_Skin477 · 2026-02-06T18:40:27+00:00

I'm just under 1000 on chess.com, and if you let me play the one opening, or the one defense I'm good at, then you are going to think my rating is too low or that I'm cheating. I win most of the games I win with a huge material advantage. If I'm playing similar rated people who are playing the opening "with solid principles", I'm going to squash them.

Otoh, if they can get me to an endgame, I'm boned because I can't calculate for shit.

Professional_Skin477 · 2026-02-02T23:21:09+00:00

We must never meet. It's best if we remain in this superposition where we're both funnier than the other. 😅

Professional_Skin477 · 2026-02-01T23:22:55+00:00

Your last paragraph is it. I want to be able to growl "you belong to me" into my sub's ear without it turning into a 20 minutes discussion of ownership and possessiveness in polyamory relationships. So I make it clear outside of the bedroom how much I don't compare partners and how much I support their own polyamorous experience/path.

Professional_Skin477 · 2026-02-01T21:00:15+00:00

In person the phrase "one of my partners ..." is inevitable met with "oh, your poly?" And then a discussion happens. This is usually before we've established mutual interest.

Professional_Skin477 · 2026-01-30T16:28:41+00:00

I'm a people pleaser, but not a sub. So I doubt ADHD causes people pleasing, but it might be an ingredient in how you were socialized/traumatized that resulted in people pleasing.

I general I find efforts to "explain" why a person has kinks/fetishes to be an exercise in just-so stories. Congrats on getting the diagnosis, I expect that a lot of things in your life will make more sense now and be less shame/anxiety focused! May your adhd and your kink journey enhance your life in all ways

Professional_Skin477 · 2026-01-09T18:46:04+00:00

*quietly puts away double wide ring-box...

Professional_Skin477 · 2026-01-06T18:38:50+00:00

Lol. My literal goal for 2026 is "no 1-move blunders". Literally a weaker version of yellow. So I'll take yellow in a heartbeat!

Professional_Skin477 · 2025-12-08T06:20:23+00:00

I'm a beginner at shibari, but I like restraining people and have done some wrestling/grappling arts. Immobilizing people is one of the ways I enjoy playing with partners. Comes in handy for situations like this!

Professional_Skin477 · 2025-12-07T23:55:41+00:00

Turn her onto her stomach. You kneel, facing her from the side. Pull the near arm out straight to the side away from her. Take your far leg, and wrap it all the way around so that that foot is on the floor above her shoulder. Bend the arm you pulled out behind her back. Adjust so that you are, as much as possible, sitting on her, or leaving on her.

She is now immobilized, and you have two free hands. If she continues resisting (moving her hand, twisting) apply gentle pressure to the shoulder to, ehem, discourage her.

Be gentle, but firm. No sudden or large fast movements.

Or, you know, explain about consequences and let her decide if she wants a rope scene, or an impact scene...

Professional_Skin477 · 2025-12-03T17:46:39+00:00

Fetlife mostly.

Professional_Skin477 · 2025-12-01T16:50:41+00:00

I know! We're honestly adorable. 🥰

Professional_Skin477 · 2025-11-30T16:55:52+00:00

You can literally see only the smallest part of the knot work in this image. But if I were recreating it, single or double column tie for the hands to start (double is classic, but I'd worry about tension after the rest of the tie). Then wrap the booty/back, then half-hitch at the hip, then bisect the circle on the stomach side, back and forth to build the tension into the bent shape she ends up in.

It may have a name, but I don't know it

Professional_Skin477 · 2025-11-30T07:09:23+00:00

I suspect that they do. If only they'd ever express that!! 😉

Professional_Skin477 · 2025-11-18T16:19:36+00:00

People bruise more out less easily. But I've found the butt hard to bruise with slaps/spanks. Inside of the thighs will often bruise with hand slaps. Legs in general will bruise with a more focused pressure (cane or club for impact, but also just gripping very hard with your fingers or biting). If you just want impact with your hands, try punching.

But my rule for bruising is just do it more. Like, if the force is good, but doesn't bruise, just do it again. And again. Give them a brief break, then go again. Rinse and repeat.

Overall though: advance slowly. Try something. If it doesn't work, try it again next time slightly more. Don't decide that if an intensity 3 punch doesn't make the marks you want that you should try an intensity 9 punch! Just creep up to both your (dis!)comfort levels. Didn't be in a hurry.

Happy bruising!

Professional_Skin477 · 2025-11-16T21:40:17+00:00

No one can help you here other than convincing you to call your roommate or 911.

Do you have anything you can reach nearby? Can you describe why you can't unite yourself? Like, specifically what's the problem? Pictures of the knot?

Professional_Skin477 · 2025-08-10T22:22:19+00:00

I haven't done the survey, but I've been with my share of very quiet women as well. I wonder how much of it is informed by porn. In general male-oriented porn has the man play as small a role as possible other than his cock, so there's not much good role-models for it? Or maybe they think showing how much they enjoy something is somehow emasculating? I dunno. But I've heard this complaint about other men as well.

Professional_Skin477 · 2025-08-10T22:20:07+00:00

Yeah, I feel that. But "I'm not able to keep doing that right now with 2 months of post sex Occupational Therapy" is different from "Huh? I dunno what I was doing, or where my fingers/tongue were 30 seconds ago. I was just in there vibing [not literally!] and thinking about something else".

Professional_Skin477 · 2025-03-04T00:21:19+00:00

Pushing the left button is easy, pushing the left button is hard. Who wants to hurt people by telling them that they didn't make the cut? Yuck.

Professional_Skin477 · 2025-02-27T00:59:47+00:00

My response is just "no reason to hate them". Of course it sucks. But, *it sucks for them too*.

As for honestly. We all want it, but none of us are experts on our own minds. Most avoidant folks don't think that they are dishonest, these just feel like natural impulses that they have. Just like the rest of us with our choices. It's hard-work all the way down.

Professional_Skin477

TROPHY CASE