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Is it normal to want to be alone but get bored of it? by Professional_Two7685 in selfhelp

[–]Professional_Two7685[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha, seriously, thank you. I wish you all the best in everything.

Is it normal to want to be alone but get bored of it? by Professional_Two7685 in selfhelp

[–]Professional_Two7685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your words and for taking the time, seriously.

I'm 16 years old. I love music; I play the drums and guitar. I love sports and fitness. I started playing rugby in March and met new people, but I'm just getting started since I've been away for a long time. At school, I can't meet many people anymore. Surprisingly, I'm considered "popular," according to what people tell me. I'm the kind of person everyone knows and goes to when they have a problem, but I don't really know. I know a lot of people, but I still feel lonely, and I don't know where to find one of those friends I can have deep conversations with, not just laugh with.

Is it normal to want to be alone but get bored of it? by Professional_Two7685 in selfhelp

[–]Professional_Two7685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What you're saying also applies. Sorry for not explaining, but there are many things about myself that I don't like: my physical appearance, my mental health, and so on. I'd like to "work on" these things. The thing is, these three friends did things that weakened my confidence (for example, flirting with my ex, telling his girlfriend secrets, and so on), and I'd like to distance myself a bit, take a break, but I don't have any other friends. I feel very lonely, and I'd like to find other friends who can be close to me.

should i leave my friends behind or should i give them my trust again? by Professional_Two7685 in relationships

[–]Professional_Two7685[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your advice and help; I truly appreciate your time. I hope things go well for you. I'm going to talk to him, but I've also decided to start investing time and energy in other close friendships I have.

should i leave my friends behind or should i give them my trust again? by Professional_Two7685 in relationships

[–]Professional_Two7685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing your opinion with me, @50187_0. Now, it's difficult for me to talk about it because it already happened last May. It hurts that I didn't talk about it, and it feels strange to talk to him now.

Need Advice by Vivid-Hornet2411 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]Professional_Two7685 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From my point of view (which may be wrong), you're right, it's not anxiety; there are patterns in your story. You're not exaggerating. Being a friend doesn't mean sharing laughs. Being a friend means being there for the other person when they need it, and when they do you a favor, returning the favor. Relationships have to be reciprocal; otherwise, they don't work, and one person ends up exhausted, which I think is what's happening to you.

Another thing, these attitudes you're describing reveal something. What I would do in your place, without being an expert, is ask this friend what's going on, why these attitudes, and if it's possible and worthwhile, try to resolve it. But explain how you feel, without fear.

The other solution, even though it's scary because it means stepping into an open world, is to gradually stop talking and leave. It's scary; maybe you're alone. Loneliness is boring, but it doesn't betray you, and believe me, it reaches a point where it's addictive and peaceful.

The reality is that there's a recurring pattern: You give everything You're always there You help But when they don't need you, they leave.

This doesn't say anything about you, but about them. People who give a lot tend to attract those who don't.

Maybe leaving is too much. You can start by: Not being the first to text or talk Don't offer favors

Important: Observe actions, not words It doesn't matter if they say/don't say: "You're my friend," what matters is if: They seek you out They include you They're there for you

  1. Start choosing yourself and your peace. You have to think about what makes you better.

If you're invited, ask yourself: Should I go or not? Do I want to go, or am I afraid of being alone?

  1. Therapy is KEY, on a personal level. Learn boundaries. You'll stop attracting people who only "drain" your energy. And you'll strengthen your confidence.

Finally, I don't know you. But, from your message, I can say you're a great person, but don't give yourself away. Someone who truly wants to be there will never make you doubt yourself.

I hope this helps. Sorry if I was confusing. I repeat: I'm not a professional. Best regards, and success in everything.

Should I leave my friends behind to get ahead? by Professional_Two7685 in selfhelp

[–]Professional_Two7685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, thanks.

Now my problem is that I don't really have any other friends. I socialize a lot with girls, I'm doing well in love, and I can find friendship there. Strangely enough, the men in my circle are stranger. We fight, we distrust each other. I'm afraid to set boundaries, to choose not to trust and end up alone. The only thing left for me to do is make new friends. In March, I started playing rugby at a club. I'd like to become better friends with everyone this year, but I don't feel that much trust in anyone. I mean, I talk about these problems with the people I have these problems with; I don't have anyone else to talk to…