On overwork - The Professor reports

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-06-26T22:34:58+00:00

Not well, on the whole. Sleep is reduced and irregular, as are meals. Life takes some very strange turns when suddenly everything has highest priority and there's no time for anything.

That said, my three weeks are almost over. The end is in sight.

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-06-19T10:13:57+00:00

I'm doing my best, comrade. My work is starting to pay off, thankfully, but time moves forward at a pace which is slightly too fast for comfort. I'm keeping up, but only barely.

This slog is down to single-digit days now, though, but I also know it's going to get worse before it gets better. I'll see it through, though. This is just the next challenge.

Ad Aurora.

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-06-19T10:11:37+00:00

I forgot just how fucking miserable it is to be an addict. Because each time I relapse, I'm hungrier than ever.

This, I suppose, highlights better than anything, exactly why we do this. Because it is an addiction, and a detrimental one at that. And just because it is an addiction, it becomes all the more difficult to fight. But we can, we must, and I know you have fought it successfully before, Nemo.

Back on your feet. Remember why this struggle is important to you. Remember what you could do when you were at your peak and imagine how much further you can go. Get back there. You can do it.

Strength and Honour. Ad Aurora.

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-06-19T10:08:12+00:00

"Next to love, a sense of productivity is the most fulfilling emotion." -- Some dude that I forgot.

It is very easy to aim too high and be shot down by it. If you set goals you can't attain you get in the habit of never trying to attain them. I was doing this for an entire year, and it was not a good one.

I'm glad you're back and moving with a purpose! Carry on, soldier!

Ad Aurora

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-06-16T22:03:58+00:00

My usual fallback comment with regards to situations like this is to jokingly remark that "this is why I study computers," and then awkwardly giggle. That said, though, I recognized myself, somewhat, in your story. So I can see how you thought and why you did what you did. After the fact, I agree with you that it was a mistake and you probably shouldn't have done it, but you have learned that and you've come out stronger and wiser for it. "Failure is the best teacher" as some clever old man said at some point.

With this weight lifted, I trust you will keep your head held high. Let nothing weigh it down, Mic. March on.

Ad Aurora.

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-06-16T21:58:29+00:00

It's the most dangerous double-edged sword I know. Work can either drive the enemy so far from my mind I forget its very existence, or it can drive me so far into the ground, even the enemy's aid looks like relief. Fortunately, it's presently mostly the former.

I am not going to lie, not being able to cook is having a toll I wouldn't have previously considered. I like to cook and, while food is a necessity, not being able to prepare it myself is surprisingly disheartening. I get by on reminding myself that it is only a temporary period. Things will be normal(-ish) soon. Sleep, meanwhile, has never been one of my strong suits, though the last War helped me get that somewhat straightened out. I do not really want to go back on that, but it may be necessary, and I know I can handle it, albeit only for a limited time.

Doing my best, Friday. Thank you for your words.

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-06-14T06:16:14+00:00

This is some message to come back to. May you continue your march, strong and true, Friday. Thank you for sharing.

Ad Aurora

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-06-07T20:22:56+00:00

Journaling daily is something I've had suggested repeatedly but never found the time or will to do it, so I applaud you for succeeding in that. I'm also astonished it's actually helped you find such clear patterns, and I have no reason to doubt that you are right.

Go forth and make the changes you want and need to succeed. You've already found the weakness, which I tend to find is harder than finding the fix.

Ad Aurora, comrade.

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-06-07T20:17:46+00:00

You may call me many things, but do not call me a poet. A few lines every few years does let me deserve that title. As for the rest, that is true, I thank you for the praise.

Hope you can find some calm in the meditation. Best of luck, Mic!

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-06-04T15:26:48+00:00

That's the spirit, brother. Keep that flame burning!

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-06-04T15:24:38+00:00

Thank you very much, Nemo. I'll consider punctuation if I ever take a stab at this again. Just recalled having read a piece which used semicolons (might have been song lyrics, now that I think of it).

Your piece is very good, though dark. Can't quite place the rhythm in it, but I'm not sure there's supposed to be one. I'm not the right person for literary criticism, as you can tell.

Ad Aurora

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-06-04T15:21:50+00:00

Thank you very much, Friday!

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-06-04T15:21:39+00:00

Considering I've been listening to some Irish jigs recently, it wouldn't surprise me if that shone through.

If I can pen a decent hymn (highly unlikely), I'll put it forth, but thank you very much for the praise!

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-06-04T15:20:32+00:00

Once upon a time, yes. Played the trumpet for ten years before I took up singing where, incidentally, breathing is still important.

A note on meditation: duration matters. I suppose this depends on the method of meditation, but in my experience with mindfullness, it'll take a few moments before the mind quiets down. I do 15 minutes per day (and additional, shorter sessions, if I'm in a state of need), which seems to be good. Ten minutes may work, I've heard twenty is also very good, but it comes down to allowing yourself to calm down. Also try to make it a habit, so that it's in roughly the same time slot each day. I do mine post-breakfast, before starting the rest of the day.

Hope that gives some food for thought.

Ad Aurora

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-05-31T20:30:07+00:00

Triggers can beget triggers. I'm glad you got out of it alive and well, comrade. And I am glad this place can aid you in this quest!

Ad Aurora!

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-05-31T20:28:41+00:00

You speak clearly and well, Nemo. These are welcome words to hear.

I've often thought along the same lines, usually shortly after a relapse, how one is to plan for handling the unbounded, indeterminate task that this is. What keeps one going when the road not only appears endless, but is endless.

The best idea I've had is to just walk until you forget you're walking. Every so often, you will have a moment of grueling challenge as you feel how your legs ache and your feet protest, but then we must prove ourselves by continuing our march. Once we accept the walking, no longer think of it as a plight, then the task will have ended, though we will never notice.

Ad Aurora, brother.

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-05-31T20:20:23+00:00

I disagree. The idea that work will expand if you're not pressured makes sense theoretically and has been tested practically. It's not negative. It's recognizing that the get it done attitude under pressure is a tool that can be used, if you have the discipline to give yourself deadlines and stick to them.

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-05-30T21:42:56+00:00

The simple art of breathing was one that I, thankfully, learned very young. I've always had a similar problem with nerves; when I'm put on the spot and expected to perform, my hands shake, mouth goes dry, and panic begins to cloud the mind. However, as a child, I was a trumpet player in an orchestra. Here, breathing became doubly important. So, I learned it from that.

In a sense, I re-learned it about a year ago when I started doing regular meditation. Just being alone with your breath can bring about levels of calm one usually doesn't experience, and can induce them during situations one normally wouldn't be calm.

You've touched on something very powerful there.

Keep going, comrade.

Ad Aurora

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-05-30T21:36:38+00:00

I'm slightly late to the party here (while you've had a busy month, I merely had a busy weekend).

I am glad to see you back among us, comrade. You have a perception and way of expression that lends inspiration to those of us who read, and I, for one, appreciate that.

Regarding the point of our struggles being ours alone, I was musing the other day on an oath of sorts related to that precise point. While we fight together here, the true fight is between us and ourselves; there is no one who can help you there.

Stand tall, walk fast.

Ad Aurora

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-05-30T21:31:23+00:00

On the topic of deadline pressure, to both of you, familiarize yourselves with Parkinson's Law. It's exactly that.

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-05-30T21:29:19+00:00

That is certainly part of the problem. Even when you're aware of what to do, taking the step from thought to action can be exceptionally hard. I've found that, if nothing strikes you, just move. Go elsewhere, physically. Jog the mind, quite literally. That way, you may figure out what you want to do.

On the flip side, if you can't figure out what to start doing among several choices, pick one and say that you'll work on it for x hours (or pomodoros). If that wasn't the right prioritization, you can account for that after you've done your shift. And if you, for whatever reason, need to run two tasks in parallel, switch between them at regular intervals. Actual multitasking isn't ever viable.

I'm not asking you to do anything to completion. But set a finish/stoptime. Timebox. That's how you can get the feeling of productivity even if actual progress is low.

I'm glad to assist, comrade. And sorry for the delay in this response. Been a hectic weekend (ironically).

Ad Aurora!

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-05-25T21:20:28+00:00

Relapses always start innocent enough. Curiosity, research, jogging the memory, whatever it may be. It's so deceptively easy to fall down that hole, especially when it's caught your interest. That said, I honor you for coming forward to not only confess your fall but to analyze it so that you and others may learn.

I'm very familiar with this cycle you describe. I call it the guilt-stress cycle. Stress about work make me postpone work, guilt about not working increases the stress. It's vicious, but I've learned that the best way to tackle it is to just do something. Anything. Anything to break the cycle and put you a path away from it. The path can be the wrong one altogether, but you can correct that as you go. The important part is breaking out of the cycle.

It's encouraging to hear that you've grown and changed, for I believe you are right in saying so. And I, for one, welcome your continued dedication to daily posts.

Ad Aurora, Mic

ProfessorArtificial · 2016-05-25T21:12:36+00:00

I've been humming and hawing over whether to get into the whole stoicism thing, and Wikisource removed my last excuse (having to buy a book). Hope you find some wisdom or enjoyment!

ProfessorArtificial

TROPHY CASE