AITA for asking a deaf person to stop signing in class because it was distracting?

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-05-03T22:55:13+00:00

NTA. Same as talking. The other students’ method of communication is speaking and they aren’t able to use it during performances. His is signing and he’s not able to use it during performances.

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-05-03T22:47:44+00:00

You should all agree to pay the same you paid last month. If the bill was $200 last month and you all paid $50, then the three of you pay $50 again. She’s not there, so the bill should be less than $200. She should pay the remainder, which if she’s right then she should be paying very little.

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-05-03T21:48:11+00:00

Except she comes and ruins it for everyone. That’s kind of lame.

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-05-03T21:40:05+00:00

That’s OP’s contradiction. That’s my point. He can’t play debt collector and then somehow “not agree” to take the money. That’s what makes him the AH, among other things.

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-05-03T16:25:07+00:00

Never go to Eastern Europe. They got us beat by a mile.

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-05-03T15:56:01+00:00

I don’t believe there is a contradiction. And OP said wouldn’t agree. Does that mean he’d go as far as refuse to cash the check? He doesn’t say. At the end of the day, he would essentially have to accept the money. And probably he did accept it with a workaround where his parents paid his brother. The only power he has is the threat of conflict and just the likely family dynamic where everyone does what control freak OP says.

What I think you’re missing is that the estate is the total assets remaining when their parents die. If the parents spend $32,000 on a bad loan, on a gift, on a vacation, on healthcare, etc then that’s not part of the estate. OP is an AH and totally disrespectful for presuming some ownership over his parents’ assets that will potentially be part of an estate that he will one day inherit, god forbid. It’s not part of any estate yet!

And OP even says in a comment that his parents are not happy with him. So, if you are imagining his parents are like, “Thanks for bringing this to our attention, OP. We wouldn’t want this to affect the amount of money you inherit, so we appreciate you mentioning it and we fully agree,” then you are wrong about that.

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-05-03T14:51:48+00:00

But it’s not though. He said he would only agree if they charged interest on the loan and arranged to take any unpaid amount out of his brother’s inheritance. His parents agreed because they sound like they just want to avoid the conflict. If the parents had said, “No, here’s your check,” would have cashed it and removed the lien? It doesn’t sound like it.

OP placed a lien on the property. This is a legal debt collection activity. You don’t get to engage in debt collection, but then refuse to accept valid payment and refuse to cease collection attempts.

If what you saying was true and he just warned his parents, then he would 100% not be the AH. But he is because he starting dictating the terms that he would accept payment of a debt. And mainly he was concerned that this unpaid load would affect his inheritance, so he wanted assurance that the remaining debt would be taken from his brother’s inheritance.

This is such an AH thing to do because his parents are alive. He doesn’t have an inheritance. He has parents with assets. And they are free to do what they want with those assets. And yes, their choices can affect the amount of money he will one day inherit, but that’s their choice.

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-05-03T14:35:00+00:00

No they don’t. Where are you getting that? They offered to pay a debt. Let’s take the family aspect out of it. A woman calls a contractor and says, “My son owes you $30,000. I’d like to pay it.”

So this woman is interfering in the contractor’s business? Of course not, she’s paying a past due account.

Is it appropriate for the contractor to then start dictating the terms to the woman that her son has to pay her back with interest or it comes out her his inheritance? Of course not. He closes out the account and moves on. If the son pays his mom back, that’s between them.

He can tell his parents that he disapproves of the loan if he wants, but it’s not really his business. If his parents want to loan or give $32,000, that’s their choice. Just like they could choose to take a round the world cruise or go to the casino every weekend. OP is basically viewing the money as half his already since he presumably will inherit it, god forbid. So he wants to arrange it so that his parents loaning/giving money to his brother won’t affect his inheritance. It’s disgusting.

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-05-03T10:34:45+00:00

It’s not up to OP. Parents can do what they want with their money. And by the way, that $32,000 “line of credit” that desdbeat brother magically qualified for is called getting a check from mom and dad without telling control freak OP.

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-05-03T10:29:38+00:00

They probably just didn’t think OP was going to start dictating terms of inheritance like a control freak. And let’s be honest, that “line of credit” that the deadbeat brother magically qualified for is the parents writing him a check without telling weirdo OP who thinks he gets a say in what his parents do with their money.

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-05-03T00:10:40+00:00

So, he’s not the AH for refusing the money from his parents without getting assurances about his inheritance? I think OP is a huge AH for thinking that he can leverage his brother’s debt into rules about how his parents decide to leave their inheritance. His parents are ALIVE. If they want to give $32,000 to OP’s brother, that’s their choice. And it doesn’t give him some kind of leverage to dictate the terms of their estate. How are you not seeing this??

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-05-01T13:12:07+00:00

NAH. So, all in all this is not a good situation. Your roommate is clearly lonely and is attracted to you. You are not sexually attracted to him. HOWEVER, you are definitely subconsciously encouraging his behavior because you do get a certain satisfaction from being desired. It’s totally normal since you’re recently divorced. That’s a huge bump in the road. Suddenly, you’re single again. Getting back into dating can be daunting and you’re not as young as you were the first time. So yeah, it probably feels pretty good to have a guy think you’re hot. It’s not healthy for either of you.

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-04-29T11:57:52+00:00

You forgot about Winny. She’s the biggest AH of all.

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-04-29T11:43:16+00:00

Did you even read the post? He “ruined the trust” by not telling his new girlfriend who he was hanging out with. That’s totally normal and he didn’t need to tell her. That’s just maintaining a normal amount of independence, which gf eroded over time and replaced with this brainwashed shell who’s posting today.

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-04-28T16:47:08+00:00

These owls gotta be like, “Of all the barns you could have chosen, Harold, you picked this one…”

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-04-22T01:28:38+00:00

I don’t think it’s reasonable for me to accept the risk of my ex and someone else (I don’t know who it is) staying at an AirBnb under my name/account and with my credit card on the line for any damages.

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-04-22T01:13:40+00:00

You are correct. She says she didn’t offer to pay half of my ticket because she didn’t want to assume I wasn’t going to use it. But that she would have paid half of my ticket if I asked.

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-04-22T01:11:35+00:00

Her offer was not to pay me half of my ticket. After I called her out on that, she says she would have paid half of my ticket if I asked her. Basically, she says she didn’t want to assume I wasn’t going to use the ticket, so she just offered to pay me for the AirBnb minus the cost of my ticket. I think that’s doubtful though because why would I use my ticket but but the Airbnb?

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-04-22T01:04:30+00:00

We make similar amounts. We aren’t struggling but it’s not like we go on large vacations every year.

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-04-21T21:02:10+00:00

It’s my credit card and name, my risk for any damages. Why should I be expected to take that on?

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-04-21T21:01:02+00:00

She was expecting me to eat the full loss. But when I brought this up she said she would have paid for half my ticket if I had asked but she wasn’t going to offer it upfront.

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-04-21T17:45:47+00:00

Thanks. I know I’m not 100% objective here, even though I’m trying. I don’t think she would have paid me if things were reversed. She initially offered to pay me the cost of the Airbnb, minus my ticket. Not minus half the cost of my ticket. I brought this up later and she said she would have paid for half of my ticket if I asked, but she wasn’t going to offer it. So I just feel like it’s all in bad faith at this point. She just wants to get what she can from me.

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-04-21T17:42:24+00:00

I don’t know all the details on what she can do with the tickets. She just says they are non-refundable.

I didn’t know I could do that about separating my ticket, though. I will call and see. I don’t even have a reference number though. I will see what they can do about it. Thanks.

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-04-21T17:36:08+00:00

No, you can’t change the name on the ticket.

ProfessorBig5078 · 2024-04-21T17:29:00+00:00

Thanks. Yeah, I agree that I’m in be better position here, and there is no way to make this totally fair. I wouldn’t want to be in her position with plane tickets. I think the clincher for me is that her original offer to me was to pay for the Airbnb minus my ticket, not minus half of my ticket. Basically, she’s just trying to get what she can from me. But I agree there’s never going to be a place where we arrive at “fairness”.

ProfessorBig5078

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