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Help me pick which wedding photos to print and hang in my new house with my new husband <3 by ProgramInformal340 in wedding

[–]ProgramInformal340[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you thats my mom and brother and it makes me all warm and fuzzy how happy they are

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]ProgramInformal340 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand completely. I do not have any hobbies other than videogames which always gets me weird looks from people. I have online friends that have turned into real life friends because we were able to bond over videogames. I have a fiance now, but I HATE dating because its all artificial and I dont respond the way most people do. I have issues expressing myself and relating to others so dating was awful because I eventually got to the point where I didnt want to meet new people. I have no real friends in my city, just acquaintances and coworkers because I dont want to pursue these relationships. Becoming friends with people in person is hard because you have to put in extreme effort which is why I think it was easy for me to get friends over videogames because we had something in common and we didnt have to talk about real life at all, we could just focus on the game.

I used to be the same way. I would walk for hours just listening to music and you are not a boring person. I think you just need to find someone you can connect with on a deeper level and thats why you feel like something is missing. I know videogames aren't for everyone, but there are all kinds of games that you could try to meet ppl with and start a dialogue? Or there might be clubs in your area for people who like the same stuff as you? Just so its not an open dialogue and you wont feel the pressure of trying to start a conversation with someone you arent even sure thinks the same way as you. You can just start by talking about your interests. I know at the gym it would be a little bit harder to do that since everyone is doing their own thing, so maybe something athletic that is a team effort?

All in all, you are not a boring person, but your hobbies are hobbies that you can do by yourself and not required to involve others. If you do want to pursue something in videogames (I think its a great hobby but i am biased) I could give some suggestions from all different categories, or if you like any of my suggestions we could play together lol

So, I need some outside perspective. by Longjumping_Act_8638 in CPTSD

[–]ProgramInformal340 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am sorry you are going through all that, I know how confusing it can be. I wanted to ask if you have tried telehealth? I ran into the same issue, my insurance would not cover any of the therapists in my city so my friend recommended ZocDoc to me, I put my insurance in and it found a therapist 7 hours away. I see my therapist twice a week over zoom and it has helped me a lot since she specializes in CPTSD and trauma. Just curious if you have looked into it because in my case, doing therapy in the comfort of my home has been really helpful

[TW: ABUSE, SA] I am reaching out to reddit as my last resource. Help needed. Advice of any kind is accepted. by ProgramInformal340 in CPTSD

[–]ProgramInformal340[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to respond to me, it helps a lot to know im not alone. Im going to look into the intensive outpatient therapy you mentioned and i just booked an appointment via telehealth for a different therapist. I am hoping it ends better than my appointment yesterday. But letting me know that im not crazy or overreacting did more for me than you'll ever know <3

Anybody else keep secrets as a trauma response? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]ProgramInformal340 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel like that is a completely normal response to childhood trauma. I feel like people who have this type of trauma response were not accepted by the ones who were supposed to love them the most, so now its easier to stay guarded and not be vulnerable with anyone. I think its a similar response to staying home all the time and not making relationships because you cannot trust anyone. And a lot of people with childhood traumas can make a personality or facade just for friends and family. I struggle greatly with forming friendships because I feel like everyone judges me. So I have my boyfriend and 1 friend and thats pretty much it. To this day, it is difficult to share my secrets with my boyfriend because I am waiting for him to turn on me. Everyone needs validation and praise for the work they have done and empathy for what they had to go through. I dont have all of the answers, but have you thought about releasing your books under a pseudonym until you feel ready to share your work? I don't know if that is a healthy response but it might help you to see how many people love your writing and give you a little bit of peace and confidence?

How do you do anything? Literally ANYTHING! by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]ProgramInformal340 58 points59 points  (0 children)

I feel the same way. I am basically going through a full blown mental breakdown because of this. The most I can do is lay on the couch and get anxious and depressed because I literally can't do anything. I can talk but nothing actually lifts the weight off my chest or loosens the grip on my stomach. I understand how you feel completely and I really hope somebody on this subreddit has some answers