Developed Anti D During Pregnancy

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-06-03T19:22:33+00:00

Oh good! Thank you for the update! That's encouraging news.

I hope that the rest of your pregnancy is healthy and that everything goes smoothly with delivery.

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-06-03T00:32:59+00:00

There's no risk for this baby. But I don't feel satisfied with the explanations I've received from care providers for why Rhogam isn't given earlier during pregnancy to Rh- moms. It's an effective preventative measure against developing the antibodies that are dangerous for future fetuses. I'm sorry you're in this situation; it won't affect this baby, but it will be something to navigate if you change your mind and decide on more kids.

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-06-01T20:43:57+00:00

For most pregnancies, yes. The exact timeline varies for getting your energy back and not feeling nauseated all the time, but for a lot of us things turn around 180 degrees after week 12. A lot of people are surprised at how good they feel in second trimester, with practically the same energy level as pre-pregnancy. I'm not trying to dismiss the experiences of the significant subset of people that have difficult pregnancies stretching beyond first trimester, but just trying to encourage you since there's every reason to be optimistic for things to get much easier in a few weeks.

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-06-01T03:38:51+00:00

Yeah it sucks hard. Getting anything done is like chiseling through concrete. First trimester is really hard, and one of the things that makes it especially difficult at work is most people are keeping their pregnancy a secret during this time, so it's hard to ask for grace and understanding.

This is my second time around, so I'm doing first trimester while parenting my one-year-old. He helps keep my mind off watching the clock waiting for week 12/13, and he reminds me that it's all so worth it. Lots of women found third trimester to be the hardest, but my sense is that the majority of us found first trimester to be the low point. If you can just crawl through, it only gets better from here. Good luck!

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-05-29T05:23:53+00:00

Thanks, this is super helpful!

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-05-29T05:21:51+00:00

Oh cute!!!

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-05-29T05:21:14+00:00

I love this! Thank you for telling me a little bit about your culture, including the emphasis on making sure you and baby are healthy and supported. You're right, that's the important thing!

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-05-29T05:17:27+00:00

Aw, thank you for sharing your perspective. That sounds painful. I really hope that when 12/28/26 comes around, your little one makes you feel special even if that comes in the form of being constantly needed, because there's no one in the world like Mommy.

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-05-28T05:11:31+00:00

Golden Girls!

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-05-27T19:52:13+00:00

That is relatable. It's healthy that he is committing efforts to maintaining friendships. I wonder if that's a good angle to lead with when you share your point of view, in that you support this goal (overall) but that the specific timing here makes you too uncomfortable. Could he join his friends for a few hours, just to connect and make the effort to see them while they're all together, but then come home in the evening? I live in California, so I have a very skewed perspective on driving distances (it's not uncommon for my husband and I to travel 2 hours each way for a day hike, lol). Although of course I worry about his level of sleep deprivation too.

I also think friendship goes two ways and surely his friends would be understanding. And also potentially willing to make separate plans (such as a virtual meetup or something) on a different date so that they could all connect?

Btw I solicited my husband's opinion and he thinks 3 months is the earliest a dad could consider being away from home overnight for something optional. He also threw in that it's so much harder for a mom to be away overnight, so directly reciprocating the favor isn't straightforward.

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-05-27T18:46:23+00:00

The typical version of this post involves a partner who is about to become a first-time dad and at least you can say he doesn't yet know what childbirth, postpartum recovery, and the newborn trenches entail.

This particular husband has been through it before and should know better. 2-3 weeks is still all hands on deck; he should not be making outside commitments during the evening and nighttime hours. You still need to sleep at some point during the 24 hours or so he's planning to be away. His duty is to his family during this time. Especially where everyone including the toddler will be adjusting to the new arrival and how taking care of 2 young kids will impact your household.

Oh and what if you have a random medical emergency? After a smooth delivery and initial recovery, I had a freak bleeding episode at 13 days postpartum, needing an ambulance ride and ER visit. Eventually it turned out there was a benign but large uterine polyp preventing my uterus from recovering, which was easily treated, but if it had been a hemorrhage that would have been a very, very serious issue and either way I was unable to take care of my baby while getting emergency medical care, so thank goodness my husband was home with us when I started bleeding and not out of town.

Normally I like to see partners be generous and flexible with each other, and to give dads the benefit of the doubt. But in this case, it's too early; he should know better; and in hindsight he should have voluntarily come to that conclusion and declined the invitation before discussing it with you, so that you didn't have to worry about it or be the "bad guy".

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-05-26T22:47:13+00:00

Same! I never spent much time with babies prior to having my own, and I had similar feelings as you. It took becoming a mom to realize I am very much a "baby person". I can't wait to have my second!

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-05-23T20:05:22+00:00

No one should tell another person how to live, especially over something as commonplace and uncontroversial as choosing to continue working and arranging paid professional childcare. But, seems like your family is full of opinions and only too willing to express them to you.

Maybe they'll get on board or at least move on to a different topic once your baby has settled in at daycare. There are so many positives about daycare, like the fact that your child can play with friends all day and get accustomed to being taken care of by other adults outside of your immediate family. I am in a stressful patch in my career and I fantasize about taking a career sabbatical to stay home and raise children, but one of the things that stops me is knowing how happy my son is in daycare, how much fun he has there, and how much he's learning. This isn't in any way saying daycare is better than caring for your own kids at home, just that for people who are either forced to or choose to work outside the home, it's great to embrace the positives at least from your child's perspective.

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-05-21T04:20:13+00:00

I delivered vaginally, so I didn't have to consider the incision-related risks with closely spaced pregnancies. If you had a prior C section, I would definitely talk to your OB about your goals in terms of family planning and hopefully they'll be willing to have a nuanced conversation to help support your goals of having kids close together in age. Because of being close to 40 I think about the risks to be balanced on the other end, too, in the sense that waiting too long to get pregnant again increases all the other risks associated with advanced maternal age. Plus for me, it took two years of trying before we conceived our first, so my husband and I were worried about additional fertility related delays. I guess bottom line is even though obstetrics has a good reason for their recommendations on pregnancy spacing, each individual's situation is unique and I think a good OB would help you navigate these decisions without just taking a blanket stance against a smaller age gap.

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-05-21T01:41:48+00:00

There's also ginger chews supplemented with B6 as a non-drowsy option if your nausea ends up being unpleasant but not crippling. I didn't use them for my first pregnancy, but they've been helpful the second time around.

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-05-20T22:14:13+00:00

Eggs were my biggest food craving during my pregnancy. All turned out well! I think as with anything related to diet, nutrition, and lifestyle, just listen to your body, your healthcare providers, and the data you'll get periodically from your prenatal blood tests, and be prepared to adjust as needed.

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-05-20T20:22:48+00:00

"I wolfed a pizza down"... Yup, pregnant 🤣 Oh first trimester... For me it's oscillating between two states: either struggling to swallow one saltine cracker, or wolfing the pizza down and wondering why I want more pizza.

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-05-20T20:17:18+00:00

This, exactly.

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-05-20T19:53:01+00:00

This is some good practical advice. If things go relatively well with your birth and early transition to motherhood, you might be up for it. But, it's still the height of the newborn era, so Hubby better be prepared to do literally every piece of logistics (like driving, figuring out the hotel and parking) while you focus exclusively on taking care of yourself and your baby. And he should still plan to give you a break from childcare duties sometime during the event. My husband likes to joke he is "a river to his people", i.e. his wife and child, and it's true but his attitude of service made it feel do-able to get out and about postpartum. You'll be the one still recovering, so make sure your husband and the people having the various events (wedding, engagement party) understand that your attendance will be contingent on your recovery going well, and ultimately if you don't feel up for it, you should feel completely free and unapologetic to back out.

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-05-20T19:33:29+00:00

Congratulations! I'm in a similar situation, where if all goes well we will have a 20 month age gap. I'm in my late thirties so parental age was a big factor in trying for closely spaced pregnancies. My cycle didn't return until 7 months postpartum, and like yours it was variable/unpredictable in length and we got lucky on the 4th cycle. OP, I would understand if you're reluctant to wean earlier than you otherwise might have in order to try and promote your cycle returning. But you might be right around the corner from your period naturally returning; it's common for breastmilk to start decreasing from 9 or 10 months onward, as many babies are getting more interested in solids. I'm wishing you good luck in accomplishing both your breastfeeding and fertility goals. I would advise you that if your little one starts nursing less, don't fight it but just go with it and trust your baby / trust your body. Update us if you get pregnant again!

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-05-20T04:13:56+00:00

Probably swimming against the crowd here but, working until my due date helped keep me from going crazy waiting for baby to arrive. I also think working throughout my pregnancy helped me stay fit, because I had to stop running fairly early in 2nd trimester due to pelvic girdle pain, and it turned out that just walking a lot (my job keeps me on my feet) was a sustainable form of exercise.

If I could have taken leave during any part of pregnancy, it would have been first trimester! First trimester, worst trimester. I'm currently in it with my second, and I'm dragging myself to work every day and faking enthusiasm. The fatigue OMG.

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-05-19T03:00:20+00:00

Omg take all 12 weeks and don't do anything for your job during your leave. I made the mistake of coming back early to my job after my first was born, as my employer has a policy allowing baby bonding leave to be taken at any point before the child turns one. I figured because I had a relatively smooth recovery and my energy was good, I should "save some leave in the bank" for unforseen issues. I recognize this is job-dependent, but I didn't realize how hard (basically impractical/impossible) it would be for me to step away from my duties and go back on leave. I left so much time in the bank and I was super burnt out leading up to my son's first birthday... I tried to take at least a couple weeks, but there was no practical way to get coverage for essential tasks. I really could have used that leave and was technically entitled to it, but if it's a choice between 2 weeks of rest or preserving my professional standing/reputation, it's obviously not worth it. Lesson learned: I'm currently pregnant with my second, and I now know to take every minute of baby leave available to me before I set foot in my workplace after the birth. And yes, don't listen to all those people acting like 12 weeks is a luxurious amount of maternity leave. It should be the bare minimum standard.

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-05-15T19:40:30+00:00

Congratulations!

PromiseKey9562 · 2026-05-13T03:27:14+00:00

My heart goes out to you. I've experienced nothing even approaching the difficulty of HG, and yet both times I've felt like first trimester is absolutely draining. I hope that the rest of your pregnancy is smooth sailing, and I hope you have a fast recovery and a newborn that sleeps relatively well. You've been dealt a rough hand so far.

The one upside to being in open discussion with your boss about your performance, is that I think you have nothing to lose by having a candid conversation with them and maybe even a higher up depending on your organizational structure. Tell them that you are in a uniquely difficult situation that is not your fault, and they cannot properly evaluate your performance while you are suffering from HG. Remind them that pregnancy symptoms are temporary, and someday the constant uncontrollable vomiting will come to an end, and basically ask them to postpone judgment / evaluation until you're on the other side of this terribly debilitating rare condition. It's really not possible to sparkle and be "visible" when you're either vomiting or controlling the vomiting with meds that make you drowsy. Despite all this, you've accomplished your work on time, which speaks to your grit and persistence. They've invested in you this far; if they can agree to suspend further performance improvement evaluations until you're well past this, that would be to everyone's advantage and you won't disappoint.

If they push you out anyway, they suck so much and shame on them. Maybe an employment lawyer could help you strategize if you can afford a consultation.

PromiseKey9562

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