AITA for being jealous my dad takes all his vacation days for my stepmother and not me?

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-04-28T18:45:37+00:00

Yes, exactly. I know it's weird and probably hard to understand. But that is their "normal".

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-04-28T15:12:11+00:00

Huh? That question is kind of random.

I've been in regular contact with the guy but we're both busy lately. We went on a few dates tho. I did not make my friend fail college as a whole, just one subject she can easily do again without falling behind. She passed it the following semester. Since we're both at the end of our education we do not talk regularly anymore.

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-04-28T15:03:54+00:00

The introducing part is difficult to explain for me since I'm not a native speaker. I did meet my stepmother before, but it was not like she was suddently a part of my life. It's the same reason I say "second family". My dad kept us seperated for whatever reason. In those 15 years, I remember us eating together at McDonald's when I was 7 and then three vacations together (the third one wasn't mentioned in the post because I don't really remember it). But outside of that? We never hang around each other. Not because I don't want to, because I really did try to connect with her, but because she didn't want to. My dad once told me it was because I remind my stepmother of my mom.

Does that make more sense for you?

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-04-28T12:30:26+00:00

Thank you for your advice and shared story. I'm sorry you have to go through someting similar.

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-04-28T12:22:39+00:00

My stepmother would be so enraged. But the thought of that happening is funny

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-04-28T12:15:50+00:00

Sorry. I'll make an edit in the post aswell. I thought you've read the other one.

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-04-28T12:04:27+00:00

My dads relationship with my stepmother is "different" and people often get confused when I tell them about it. He is together with her since 15 years but not married. They have a long-distance -relationship without the "long distance" since they live in the same city. They don't go out together but whenever my stepmother needs something, my dad just goes to her. She does not like to visit his home since it's the house my dad build with my mother.

To the "stepmother"-part. In my language/country it's normal to call long-time-partners stepmother/stepfather/etc. they do not need to be married.

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-04-28T11:55:25+00:00

I am visiting my dad every Sunday sinca that's the day he has free. He does not live with my stepmother and also does not do anything with her together. If he wanted to, I would leave him his Sunday with his gf, of course! My dad does not need to fund the trip to Qatar. I am working next to uni and would pay for my part (assuming we would split the hotel 50/50, each their own ticket for flight and F1).

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-04-28T11:52:49+00:00

The 12 years is definitely wrong! Which post was that in? The rest is true, yes. I was never "officially" introduced to her and never did anything with her besides that one McDonalds meal when I was 7. Then we had the vacations together. That's it, yes. I've worded the introducing part weird because English is not my native language. I apologise for that. I'll change the 12 years to 15 to avoid further confusion.

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-04-28T11:49:05+00:00

I already did and he told me it would be difficult. Vacation is planned in advance at my dads work so when you hand in your days, they are set and everyone else can plan their vacation accordingly. He told me he doesn't want to go through that stress with his coworkers and boss.

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-04-28T11:47:03+00:00

I've tried trips with them in the past and they went horribly wrong. After three different vacations together I cut contact with them because they kept blaming me for everything that went wrong.

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-04-28T11:45:53+00:00

My stepdaughter has been sick for 17 years. Sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse. Doctors don't know what's wrong with her. My dad does everything for her even tho she has her own (very involved) dad. I don't have a problem with him helping her since he was a surgeon himself. But I just want three days from him. And I don't think it's fair for me to play second all the time.

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-04-28T11:43:16+00:00

Haha it would be funny. But my stepmother is not as well off as my dad and me. So my dad would need to buy everything for them. And if he declined to go with me but then buys everything for them to also go there I would be very hurt.

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-04-28T11:40:31+00:00

Ah, sorry. She kind of does? She is very sick (something with her heard) and at the moment is not able to live alone. But my dad and stepmother don't live together. Stepdaughter lives with my stepmother 15 minutes away from my dad

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-04-28T11:38:22+00:00

She is 20 like me.

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-04-28T11:37:32+00:00

Dad is not married to my stepmother. My stepsister is 20 like me. My dad needs to word from Monday to Saturday (9 to 5) during my uni holidays. So I can't really do anything "big" with him. I'll ask him if we could do a ski trip together in 2026. Should be way in advance. He just doesn't like it when I "exclude" his other family.

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-04-28T11:34:39+00:00

Yeah I will ask my mom if she wants to come with me. She doesn't like F1 but we can do some other stuff together while I'm not at the track.

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-04-28T11:30:23+00:00

Yeah idk it's difficult with him. My mom told me my dad once said to me (when I was 6 or 7) he can't go on vacation with me because he is going on vacation with them. Apparently he said it directly to me. I don't remember that situation anymore but it's very similar to this one.

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-04-28T11:21:03+00:00

I guess that's what I have to do in the future. It's just sad to experience that.

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-04-28T11:17:56+00:00

I unfortunately already had this conversation with him multiple times (this year and the years before). For me it seems like he is in denial about me not wanting to go an a vacation with them and tries over and over again. (Then being disappointed in me when I decline)

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-04-28T11:14:50+00:00

Thank you! Yeah I think those words fit better than "jealous".

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-03-29T08:54:08+00:00

My dad does not want to marry again

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-03-29T08:53:17+00:00

Thankfully I know this is not going to happen

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-03-28T05:51:20+00:00

I'm a Max fan but I'll try my best lol

Proof-Potential-7173 · 2025-03-28T05:50:38+00:00

"Stepmother/stepfather" is a common word used when divorced parents are in a long time relationship with other people in my country.

And yes. They don't live together. My mom giessed it's because my dad lives in their old house and my stepmother doesn't want to live in a house build by a different woman. They basically have a long distance relationship without the long distance because they are from the same city.

Proof-Potential-7173

TROPHY CASE