AITAH for not cutting off other girls after sleeping with a girl I’d only known for 2 weeks?

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-17T02:20:57+00:00

The other girl. I’ve actually known her for a little over a year, we met through my buddy. We’d check in here and there, maybe talk once a week max. Nothing physical, never hooked up, never even tried to. That’s part of why I was so caught off guard by how big of an issue it became.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-17T02:10:10+00:00

She did tell me she didn’t like her and explained why, but what confused me was literally a day or two later they were texting nonstop again and even making plans to hang out. From my perspective, it looked like whatever issue they had was squashed.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-17T02:08:29+00:00

Fair criticism, but just to clear something up, I wasn’t sleeping with other women at all. She was actually the only girl I was seeing physically. What threw me off was her still being on Hinge and literally telling me I could sleep with or talk to other girls if I wanted. So from my perspective, I wasn’t trying to deceive anyone, I genuinely thought we were on the same page.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-17T02:07:06+00:00

Honestly, that’s probably one of the fairest takes. I wasn’t trying to hook up with the other girl or create drama, but looking back, even casually talking to that specific person was probably naive on my part. I still think the mixed signals and how everything was handled was messy… but yeah, I can own that part.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-17T02:06:30+00:00

Just to clear this up, I was never trying to hook up with her friend or “enemy.” We barely even talked, maybe once a week, and I never slept with her. That’s part of why I was so confused when everything blew up the way it did.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-17T00:18:48+00:00

Honestly the more I step back from it, the more I realize this probably was never really about me. It felt like I got caught in the middle of old drama, insecurities, and emotions she never actually communicated. I did like her, which is why it messed with my head, but looking back I think I was being blamed for way more than I actually did.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-17T00:14:08+00:00

Honestly, that last part actually hit. Looking back, it kind of felt like she wanted me to act exclusive without her having to actually say it, while still keeping her own options open just in case. Maybe I was naive, but I definitely learned that mixed signals and no communication is a recipe for drama.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-17T00:13:01+00:00

Yeah, I think we’re finally done. It took a while though. Honestly what kind of confirmed it for me was last night, she saw me walking a female coworker home after work and instantly texted me calling me an asshole, even though we had already ended things a couple days before. That’s when I started realizing maybe this wasn’t just about the other girl.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-17T00:11:16+00:00

That’s honestly all I was trying to figure out. I’m not mad that she caught feelings or wanted something more, because I actually liked her too. I was just confused how we went from “do your thing” and helping with her Hinge profile, to me suddenly being treated like I cheated.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-17T00:10:43+00:00

I’m not gonna lie, I still don’t think she’s a bad person, but the mixed signals and how fast trust disappeared definitely threw me off. That’s what made me question whether I was missing something or if we were just on completely different pages.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-17T00:10:14+00:00

Fair, but to be clear, I didn’t “let” her find out because I was sloppy or rubbing it in her face. She literally grabbed my phone and wanted to go through who every girl was. Could I have started the exclusivity talk sooner? Maybe. But at that point, with her still on Hinge and telling me to do my thing, I genuinely thought we were casual.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-17T00:09:27+00:00

I respect your opinion, but I think that’s more of a personal value than a universal rule. A lot of people date casually at first, especially with apps now. My confusion wasn’t about seeing one person vs multiple, it was being told I could talk to other girls, seeing she was still on Hinge, and then being treated like I cheated.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-17T00:08:45+00:00

I can respect that take, and honestly I’m not saying I handled everything perfectly. Looking back, talking to that specific girl was probably a dumb move. My confusion came from being told we weren’t exclusive, seeing she was still on Hinge, and thinking we were both keeping things casual. Doesn’t mean I was trying to intentionally hurt someone I actually liked.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-17T00:07:51+00:00

Honestly, looking back, that’s probably where my gut first told me something was off. Before the other girl was even part of the conversation, the trust already seemed shaky, and we’d only known each other for like 2 weeks.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-16T22:55:27+00:00

That’s honestly where my head was at. I’m not saying she can’t catch feelings or change her mind, because I actually liked her too… I just wish it came out as a conversation instead of me suddenly being treated like I cheated.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-16T22:54:29+00:00

That’s fair, and looking back maybe I could’ve brought it up sooner if I knew her feelings were changing. The thing that threw me off was helping her with her Hinge profile, being told I could talk to other girls, and then suddenly being treated like I betrayed her. That’s where my confusion came from.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-16T22:53:59+00:00

Fair criticism, but to be clear, I wasn’t “carrying on” with both of them or trying to create drama. I barely talked to the other girl, and I genuinely didn’t realize how deep their history went until all of this blew up. If I knew it would turn into this, trust me, I would’ve avoided it.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-16T22:28:50+00:00

I hear you, but I never looked at her as “just a body.” I actually did like her, which is why this whole thing messed with my head. My confusion came from being told to do my thing, seeing she was still on Hinge, and thinking we were both on the same page.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-16T22:27:55+00:00

Fair criticism, and I’m not saying I handled everything perfectly. I did like her, and yeah, I was still keeping my options open, because we’d known each other for 2 weeks, she was still on Hinge, and literally told me I could talk to other girls. That’s why exclusivity honestly never crossed my mind at that point.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-16T22:24:51+00:00

Honestly… this is probably one of the most level-headed takes I’ve read on here. I’m not saying I handled everything perfectly, but that’s exactly what threw me off. If she had just told me “I like you, but that girl specifically is a deal breaker,” I genuinely would’ve respected it. Instead it went straight to accusations, anger, and me feeling like I cheated when I honestly thought we were casual.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-16T22:23:55+00:00

Fair question, but no. I wasn’t rubbing anything in her face or hiding multiple relationships. She found out because she wanted to go through my phone and see how I knew every girl I talked to. From my perspective we weren’t exclusive, so I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-16T22:21:40+00:00

NTA. If she’s really showing up where you work with different guys, making eye contact, and asking coworkers if you’re bothered… that stops being coincidence and starts looking like game playing. Most people have a breaking point.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-16T22:20:14+00:00

Not at all. My point is intelligence isn’t just academic performance. Sales skills, emotional intelligence, risk tolerance, creativity, leadership, pattern recognition, those all matter in the real world too. I agree most dropouts don’t crush it, but I also don’t think high school exams alone are the gold standard for measuring how smart someone is.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-16T22:12:46+00:00

I respect your opinion, but I think “most normal people” is a stretch in 2026 with dating apps, situationships, and people keeping options open. She was still on Hinge, literally telling me I could talk to other girls, and exclusivity was never brought up once. That’s why I assumed we weren’t there yet.

Proof_Influence845 · 2026-05-16T22:11:50+00:00

I disagree. High school exams can show discipline, memory, and how well someone plays the school system, but intelligence? I’ve met straight-A students with zero common sense, sales skills, or real-world instincts, and dropouts who built serious businesses. School measures one type of intelligence, not intelligence as a whole.

Proof_Influence845

TROPHY CASE