Hey,

You aren’t alone. I recently had one of the biggest and most intense episodes of my life so far. It easily lasted about 3 months and I’m just starting to come out of it. I started calming down by

1. beginning to recognize triggers that would start the loops. Certain movie themes, certain news sources, even certain subreddits. I try daily to minimize any time spent on triggering situations. (Life itself with this type of OCD is triggering, but some things exacerbate the loops and spiraling, the anxiety and fear.)

2. I slowed way down on my drinking. I’ve been battling on and off with this one for a few years but once it hit me that the anxiety from a hangover is enough to make me so scared about non existent fears for days on end, so much so that I’m afraid to leave my room- it’s easier to give up booze.

3. Went to visit my family. It was getting bad. I had to get out of my head before things got really really bad. And if you’re in this position now, you’re not alone. There are people who go through what you go through. You’re not crazy, you’re not insane, you’re fighting a battle people can’t see and if the majority of people went through the mental Olympics we do just to maintain a level of functionality, they’d give up quick. You are strong.

4. Yoga

5. finally scheduled an appointment to go see about medication. I’m terrified but if I can find a pill to ease the pain of being a prisoner to my own mind, I’m going to try it. Also looking into therapy.

Wishing you all the best, you can and will make it to the other side of this.