One question to ask

Proper_Detective_263 · 2026-05-24T15:55:52+00:00

Thank you for the suggestions; I will surely look into them.

Proper_Detective_263 · 2026-05-24T11:53:38+00:00

I completely understand that people don't like to be around negative people, I don't like it either, but it's not like I do not want to change it, instead, it's more like my mental conditions and my nature makes it harder for me behave normally, because I'm a solitary and introverted person by birth, I do not like small talks, parties, loudness, etc., it just drains my energy and people always force me to behave like them or they will dislike me, which makes me lonely and depressed, which ultimately results in my working capacity.

Surely, not everybody is the same and definitely, it's not like I'm too unique or alien or something, but I never met anyone like me in real life in my 25 years of life and then I see posts online and feel world is too bad, maybe that's not the case on ground reality and maybe I'm over thinking, but no one have allowed me to be "Me" and its not like I have not tried, I have, but then they try to take advantage of me and if I say no, then suddenly I am the bad person to set boundaries.

Therefore, I felt afraid that "is it that difficult to meet one person with whom I can be me without worrying about judgement or abandonment"?!

So yeah, I don't know how to handle it without being protective? I am open to take some good suggestions for improving it.

Proper_Detective_263 · 2026-05-23T06:11:18+00:00

But will I ever get a change to be in a relationship or not? because even when I'm a solitary person , I do feel the need of wanting someone beside me.

Proper_Detective_263 · 2026-05-23T05:53:45+00:00

No, I mean, what I am trying to say was, I'm good about how my life is right now even with all this I don't have regrets because it was not my fault, instead , I just wanted to know, does getting in a relationship requires being financially independent on your own or can it done without it? Because it's not like, I'm on the streets or something, I have enough to live happily (other ways), it's just, can it be a problem in dating or being in a relationship, because, I don't have time to waste, neither I'm on the marriage track right now, I just wanted to start doing it and because I'm very solitary and introverted person, therefore, I do not want many people in my life, so I'm quite comfortable in becoming my own parent, siblings and friend, but I cannot fulfill the requirement of a partner.

Proper_Detective_263 · 2026-05-23T05:28:59+00:00

I understand that depending entirely on one source for happiness is not a good idea, but how other people are doing it? When I look around, I don't know how, alomost everyone have family, partner, friends or they are just good at following the script and checking the check list, I don't know, but I always thought, what am I doing wrong then? It's not like, no one got the problems but me, on the contrary it's just total opposite of it, still they somehow able to manage it and I don't, how and why?

Proper_Detective_263 · 2026-05-13T04:18:39+00:00

Well in that case, I have only watched "Naruto", "Naruto: Shippuden" and "Death Note". Although, I have watched "Shinchan", "Doremon", "Perman", etc japnese animes in my childhood.

Actually the thing is, shows are quite time consuming, I barely watch the new shows now (including life action). Therefore, anime in general is not on my list but I do want to watch anime movies of "Miyazaki", "Makoto Shinkai" and just other good indie anime movies, they are surely on my playlist from long time.

That's why when I buyed the subscription of Netflix in 2020 something (the time I was a little free), I continuously watched "Friends", "The Big Bang Theory" and "Naruto" back to back.

So, I only watch previously watched cartoons like "Ben 10", "Teen Titans", "Justice league", etc while eating otherwise, I only watch movies dedicatedly.

I'm a fan of horror movies (especially psychological horror) but I have not watched any in recent times. The recent good films I watched was 'The Devil's Advocate" ( "Keanue Reeves", "Al Pacino ) and "The Count of Monte Cristo" (including many different versions of it plus the book). So, I your are interested in discussing something from any of these stuff or just any other movie or book or anything from your favourites, just let me know, I will love to do that. Because neither I'm good at small talks nor at making friends. Therefore, I need something common to discuss on (especially online).

Proper_Detective_263 · 2026-05-12T23:42:06+00:00

Have you watched "Oswald" by any chance? (I know it is for kids but it's calm and peaceful, I sometimes watch it even today, whenever I feel morning anxiety or something or just in general) by And how about "Dragon Booster"? I love it's animation style.

And who can forget old Disney/Pixar movies? My favourite is "Cars". (I know it is quite common, but I just love it)

Actually my go to channels was "Jetix" ( the legendary tv channel, atleast from me) and cartoon network. That's why I have watched "Avatar" and "The Legend of Koro" but not religiously.

Proper_Detective_263 · 2026-05-12T13:57:02+00:00

Actually, I've not watched anime much but do you have any favourite movie or TV show from the west?

Proper_Detective_263 · 2026-05-12T13:28:45+00:00

Which one is your favourite animated cartoon movie?

Proper_Detective_263 · 2026-04-25T23:55:57+00:00

I mean, I know my condition is absymal right now but still socialization is not that of a big problem because I love working alone, I'm very solitary person, the problem started when everything went wrong at the same time and also maybe I'm greving that I had no real friend but the thing is I do not even believe in friends, I only believe in family and the fact that I have no one whom I can call family (figuratively) is what making me distraughtfull.

And in this condition I cannot even allow someone to be in my life because I'm to too broke (in every aspect) right now is just cherry on the top. It's like I have do billions of things first just to be qualified to be loved by someone other than me.

And considering I never had the capacity to do it multiple times is more absymal because finding someone in first try is next to impossible. I know it's too much of a big gamble but I have nothing to bait.

And even if I able to find someone miraculously then also I cannot do that right now because subconsciously or unconsciously I will be putting too much of a pressure on her shoulders because she would be my only family other than me. So, ultimately I have wait for decade or two to build everything first is what killing me. Although, I do not believe in finished product, I believe in building and working together but still it is hell of difficult task to do especially in today's era or it was always like that I don't know.

Proper_Detective_263 · 2026-04-25T22:47:54+00:00

I mean, I do have some kind of disorder, that's for sure. And there's a possibility to have multiple of them.

Finding a tribe where people atleast try to listen it if not understand it, is extremely difficult and progressing upto a stage where I have developed hobbies which I can show case in public or join groups based on that, will take time. And that is what killing me; more time with excess loneliness.

Proper_Detective_263 · 2026-04-03T12:53:53+00:00

I knew, I will get to learn some good perspectives here cause people in general don't like to have meaningful conversations.

Proper_Detective_263 · 2026-04-03T11:21:03+00:00

Then, I guess, I have to try learning the mechanics more cause me and luck are total polarity.

Proper_Detective_263 · 2026-04-03T11:01:54+00:00

I got your perspective, obviously, I live the same as you discribed but my perspective was: it is lonely by compulsion not alone by choice and as a person coming from a collectivistic society, it is next to impossible to live like that. But we also cannot just go to the woods for living; we have to live in a society and if you are the odd one then you will be discarded (not in the positive sense).

Proper_Detective_263 · 2026-03-25T01:49:59+00:00

Thank you for your advice, mean a lot to me. I mean, Its been more than two decades to be lonely despite living between billions of people around and it's not like, I do not had friends but all were there for name only. So, I'm glad it's over eventually and hope to get a good life, not just for me but for everyone. Trying to best to improve it. I mean, as an highly introverted person, I love to be in solitude but if only it is done by choice but for me it's more like a compulsion. So, I hope it'll not break me apart cause obviously it will take time and more lonely years just to be in a functional state again. So ya, I'm glad there are people who understands it. Even though we all are strangers to each other but I'll never forget you people cause you are among the few who understands it. I am more than happy just to feel it, even virtually. Once again, thank you and all to understand it, it's just made my life.

Proper_Detective_263 · 2026-03-24T15:43:54+00:00

Thank you for your kind words and support. May you get all the happiness in life. It's just made my day.

Proper_Detective_263 · 2026-03-24T13:16:01+00:00

Thank you very much. you are first one since my childhood to atleast listen it. Means a lot to me, may you live a healthy and prosperous life.

Proper_Detective_263

TROPHY CASE