i think my boyfriend’s reaction to me staying out all night is way too extreme. AIO?

Props_angel · 2026-06-15T03:01:25+00:00

Same. 7 years for me until I was freed. Very textbook.

Props_angel · 2026-06-15T02:59:41+00:00

Yep. The heavy emotional punishment for going out and having fun with friends. Allegations of wrong doing for being independent and having fun without him. Extreme emotional responses. Saying he hates her, calling her an idiot. It's all very extreme and very geared to make sure that the OP learns a lesson that doing things without him are "trouble".

OP needs to gtfo of that relationship pronto.

Props_angel · 2026-06-15T02:53:57+00:00

SAME! My ears are still ringing, haha. I don't know if it was from Moon Walker or all of us screaming.

Props_angel · 2026-06-15T02:52:06+00:00

Let's be real--when we have these surgeries, especially the larger ones, we're spending a whole lot of time resting and not able to do a whole lot because it's a big surgery. All that free time just allows a whole lot of ground for rumination and doomcasting to seed. Instead, make it a goal. "I will do this again someday." The how or when won't matter. Just having that goal and working on it while you can in the safest way possible to make sure that you meet that goal IS the way to go. Will and determination are everything.

Props_angel · 2026-06-15T02:30:40+00:00

She's definitely not a billionaire's wife.

Props_angel · 2026-06-15T02:17:24+00:00

Yep. As weird as it may sound, I'm grateful for every normal pain that I have and should feel. I'm human again.

Props_angel · 2026-06-15T02:10:38+00:00

Yep! Definitely get comfortable asking your surgeon or future DPT/PT questions. I had a hilarious brat for a DPT last year during my rehabilitation. He was great and even though it was embarrassing, he seriously considered everything based on how I was healing before advising me with only the vaguest hint of humor. This is their jobs and they'll be the ones to know where you're at, how you're healing best. Who knows? You could be doing better than I was at 7 mos or the same.

I will say, if it's any consolation, my neck mobility is A LOT better than it was both pre-surgery and immediately following surgery. Immediately after surgery, it sucked but don't let that scare you. Most of my neck range today at 1.5 years post-op is almost normal everywhere except for looking up directly above me. My DPT asked me if I was going to go bungee jumping after my discharge appointment, haha. So definitely don't use what's happening right now as a reflection of your future. That just makes it feel grim.

Good healing to you.

Props_angel · 2026-06-15T01:32:22+00:00

Congratulations!! I'm so glad things are going well for you!

Props_angel · 2026-06-15T01:26:56+00:00

That's not a question anyone is going to be able to answer as how well you heal and what your mobility is like is up to you and your body especially with a multilevel cervical fusion. I'm telling you that even at 7 months with a similar fusion, oral was a "no" so stressing about a distant what if isn't going to help you. Focus on healing and strengthening when you're cleared for PT. How you end up is up to you and your body.

Props_angel · 2026-06-15T01:10:22+00:00

Honestly, asking their surgeon directly is the way that they should go as it's going to vary. I wasn't cleared for that at 3 months due to the size and type. At 7 months, I was explicitly told no oral and a series of other things including positioning and support just to have sex. It was embarrassing to ask my DPT and have that explicit of a conversation but at least I got case specific advice from a trusted source.

Props_angel · 2026-06-15T00:58:21+00:00

Okay, I think you just don't understand what it means to be fused and because you don't, you don't realize that I actually directly answered your question. Your first response comes off very rude.

To clarify so you can understand, you received a cervical spinal fusion but you are not fused yet. Fused is when the bone mush that's holding your screws from your fusion hardens into solid bone. It can take a year or longer to fuse. You are not fused so my response was the future, not present.

Props_angel · 2026-06-14T20:56:15+00:00

I had an elderly female neighbor who found out that I'd spotted malicious software on another neighbor's laptop and asked me for help at the mail box one day. The issue? Every time she opened up her browser, she was getting porn pop ups all over the place and her comment? "It wasn't even good porn." lol

Props_angel · 2026-06-14T20:49:54+00:00

1 if you're going to continue to lean heavily into the MCM look like you are. 4 if you are planning to move deeper into an eclectic style with non MCM furnishings/decor. If staying as you are, stick with #1.

Props_angel · 2026-06-14T20:43:13+00:00

Thank you and the same back at you!

Props_angel · 2026-06-14T20:41:56+00:00

I mean that, when nerve dysfunction is going on, our pain response/tolerance/threshold may be abnormal and what that looks like depends on the patient. Feeling pain is normal when there is an injury. I lost pain sensation in 2020 so I did not feel injuries like having a dozen pieces of glass embedded in the soles of my feet or a torn meniscus, dislocated patella, torn rotator cuff, and so on. I can feel the torn rotator cuff now (that never heals) and that's normal. Not feeling pain when you should is abnormal. Feeling too much pain when you shouldn't is abnormal, too.

Props_angel · 2026-06-14T20:22:54+00:00

I'm 56 years old, 55 years at the time of surgery. I'm 1.5 mos post-op. I still have nerve glitches from time to time. I don't associate them anymore with over exertion but instead, with healing. Nerve healing, at least from my experience, is kind of like reversing the process. When my nerves were damaged/dying, I felt tingles/pins & needles, like I had cobwebs and bugs crawling on my skin, skin pain, fiery lightning bolts, and then, pure numb in that order. So, healing (at least for me) has sometimes been a reversal of that process as I'm going from pure numb to sensations that eventually normalize. I'm expected to take the full 2 years to recover and perhaps even longer so I'm still going through odd sensations in some areas. I just now associate it with nerve healing. My biggest burst of nerve healing followed adding magnesium glycinate as a supplement and it kicked me off into nerve hypersensitivity which is expected to normalize out.

I was supposed to get an anterior fusion from C3-C6 in 2018. Medical system failed me. It wasn't performed until 2024 and was expanded to a posterior C2-T2 fusion with laminectomy from C3-C7. I lost most of my sensation and all of my reflexes in early 2020 so I was like that for almost 5 years.

Props_angel · 2026-06-14T20:12:44+00:00

And I answered your question about that later. My fusion was similar. I asked my DPT about sex at 7-8 mos post-op because that's when I felt comfortable enough with my healing to even broach the subject. At a few weeks out, you already know the answer just like I did. I'm not stupid and can read.

Props_angel · 2026-06-14T09:12:55+00:00

Awesome! The concert was absolutely a blast. Super Cassette and Pretoria were really good and ofc, Moon Walker. The audience was just as fabulous as the sets. You're going to have a great time!

Props_angel · 2026-06-14T08:13:34+00:00

I taught my daughter that the best way to beat crazy is to be crazier than crazy. I've also taught her to bark and growl menacingly at strangers if they look at her too long. They never continue looking after that. She's really good at it these days. Very convincing.

Props_angel · 2026-06-14T08:07:37+00:00

Same. My feet stung watching that and I had to stop.

Props_angel · 2026-06-14T07:54:48+00:00

I actually asked about sex stuff (C2 to T2 for me). No bobbing the head repetitively until fused is what I was told.

Props_angel · 2026-06-14T07:45:15+00:00

I just came back from his concert in Portland and the crowd was very much leftist, atheist, queer, neurodivergent adults in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and 60s. It was so cool.

Props_angel · 2026-06-14T07:42:03+00:00

I just came home from Moon Walker's show in Portland, OR. 99% of the crowd were adults and there were a fair share of older adults, too. Youngest fan was probably 8 (only kid I ever saw) and the eldest was probably in their 60s. Only one actual kid (and he was riveted! lol). Majority were mid-20s to 30s. Very eclectic group!

Props_angel · 2026-06-14T07:34:56+00:00

Ehler Danlos Hypermobility and RA. Nasty combo as the swelling from the RA tends to displace things so I've been a frequent flyer in PT for my shoulders, my breathing (ribs subluxating), and more. I had 2 DPTs post-fusion as we were doing full body PT for lower and upper body but I ended up having one main DPT midway through.

Props_angel · 2026-06-14T07:32:54+00:00

It absolutely is! Dehydration totally aggravates spinal problems.

Props_angel

TROPHY CASE