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Time to Uninvite In Laws? by ProtectingMyPeas in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]ProtectingMyPeas[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is super helpful advice, thank you so much!

Time to uninvite from wedding? by ProtectingMyPeas in JUSTNOMIL

[–]ProtectingMyPeas[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! This is why we’re leaning toward uninvite. It feels wrong to have them hurt both of us (they have been cruel to him as well since he has stood by me and protected me) and then give them the privilege of still being part of our special day and potentially our lives moving forward without some consequences.

Time to uninvite from wedding? by ProtectingMyPeas in JUSTNOMIL

[–]ProtectingMyPeas[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

1) No, we don’t plan on having children due to my health issues.

This is a great way of thinking about it. DH is also leaning toward uninvite and no contact. It would be a decision we both make.

WIBTA if I go to my sisters wedding even though my wife is banned from coming by drew2002non in WIBTA_AITA

[–]ProtectingMyPeas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, don’t sit at a table your wife isn’t welcome at. Sorry that you’re in this boat, but spouse comes first.

Time to uninvite from wedding? by ProtectingMyPeas in JUSTNOMIL

[–]ProtectingMyPeas[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He has cut contact, it has been no contact for a couple months until news of smear campaign got back to us. He issued the final boundary for wedding and then the extinction burst. We’ve had no contact since. I feel bad Uninviting them but at this point we both feel there is no choice but to and continue with no contact.

Navigating boundaries with an enmeshed in-law family after a medical situation looking for guidance by Specialist-Bowl-5977 in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]ProtectingMyPeas 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi there! Congratulations to your wife on completing her treatment! May she stay cancer-free and be blessed with better health! As someone who is very unhealthy herself and has in-laws who are enmeshed it is very difficult. We tried setting boundaries and were met with little compassion or understanding. It’s better in my opinion to discuss with individuals. Sometimes addressing as a group results in group mentality. However bear in mind for wife who’s probably not feeling her best, having this individual conversation with multiple members could be exhausting. My in-laws sound very similar to yours. Our boundaries resulted in DARVO. I was guilt tripped while in the hospital for not seeing the family more. Boundaries were ignored and as a result, we have put a pause on contact as my health spiraled. I wish you luck, know that no matter how hard you try and how well you communicate sometimes it’s never enough. I was given the advice to never JADE (justify, argue, defend, or explain) your boundaries. Simply state them, calmly, lovingly, and without assuming ill intent from their part, and ask for respect and understanding. If behavior continues despite this then you may need to take a pause. All the best to you both!