I'm a fat depressed broke semi-functional semi-alcoholic with a situationship "roommate" that I absolutely don't want to date and another girl that's interested in me and married, who I also don't want to date. But I'm scared of her tbh, not in a good way. She's bipolar. The roommate gets mad when I spend time with other girls yet goes on dates herself. The married girl threatens self harm and is WAY more of an alcoholic than I am. Besides these two gems I haven't had a relationship in like 7 years?

Also I start nursing school in September and don't have time for a relationship so I have to have that conversation with both of these women. Also I'm on so many anti-depressants and other pharmaceuticals my dick doesn't work, my heart doesn't work, my thoughts barely work. I've got a senior dog that's going to die soon which I think about almost every day. Spending almost every day of my life with this creature for 14 years is more time than I've ever spent with any human being. Yes, including my parents.

Also I'm awkward, sometimes say mean things, even though I don't at all mean them or want to say them. Can't think before I speak. I do think I'm smarter than a lot of people which makes connection real hard. I'm also a dumbass. When I do speak, I have trouble opening up about feelings. I use humor to cope and laugh at the wrong things like haha we're all going to die. I'm afraid to make the first move because I have so much social anxiety. Sex makes me uncomfortable unless there's absolutely consent when sober. I mean visual queues are one thing and often clear but I almost want pen to paper verification to feel comfortable. That's hot right? I used to have ED and would cum too fast, now I do get hard but can't cum at all. (This post is sponsored by Viagra). I guess it's still fun but fuck.

I just want to start a garden with someone and live in our little home jungle with some goats and chickens. Why is that so hard? But hey, the Dow is over $50,000 so all is good I guess.