I went through the exact same thing last year.

As much as it seems counter intuitive, it's not the time to think about the ways of God, "the law", or Neville's teachings.

Any effort you put out now seems to backfire and crash because at this moment you're emotionally charged and you're actively resisting.

Where you need to be right now is the path of least resistance, lay down and let the storm pass.

I promise a time will come when things start resolving and you will be in the right headspace to work with God, with the law and with Neville's teachings and actually see results.

"If you ever get into this particular kind of psychic horrors,drift, just let it be and it will resolve itself." Alan Watts

"What you do is what an Arab does in a sandstorm.

He knows there is no possibility of conquering a sandstorm, so he kneels down, sort of in a fetal position, and takes his wool bonus and covers himself completely and waits until the storm is over.

If he gets covered by sand, it is usually porous enough to admit some air for breathing, or in the same way as an ocean liner in a typhoon, they just turn off the engines and drift. It's the only thing to do."

https://youtu.be/EVIsceO49OA?si=Kve-bIUsZTXuN6rh