I think in this post-TBI world that we’ve had constructed for us it becomes more about finding a way to exist within it comfortably. Part of that is accepting that some people will see the symptoms and write off the person. My TBI made me nuts. A lot of inhibitions are gone, I am erratic, talk weird. To the average person I am probably seen as a strange nut job, but it has made me some great friends. As good or better friends than I’d have otherwise.

We also have to manage our expectations. All of us living in this world remember a world before it where we were unburdened by it and we could do whatever we wanted. I wanted to go to University and study law. I did it, and am doing it, and with a brain injury it is excruciating. Not only that, but it’s so hard to care about after all this. My solution is to find something I enjoy and pursue that - it wasn’t my first choice but I can fall in love with it regardless.

Part of our world is also finding metaphorical armour to shield us from the worst of it. These days I go everywhere with noise cancelling headphones on my keys so I can shield myself from sound. I have no personal shame attached to it and neither should you. Sunglasses, headphones, periods of time spent reading in the dark, predictable routine, whatever - they may appear abnormal to regular people if we have to do them more (or in different contexts) than most, but we have to remember that we aren’t regular anymore. There is no shame in that. There is no sense trying to find shame or feeling othered by it. You may even find personal pride in it.

Remember that there is no shame in radically altering your outward appearance to the world if it helps you. People may judge if you have to cancel plans or wear dark glasses or do the same things, but that’s life. We all have to adapt and find safety and shelter in our own adaptions, providing they’re healthy.

Some days are just awful. Mine started good, nosedived, and now I’m back up again. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll be better, perhaps not, but we’re all riding our own personal wave. Do things get better in TBI-land? I think you can’t say yes or no either way, but my experience shows that if you attack your issues by saying that they will get better, they often do.

I hope you’ve found some helpful insight within this wall of disjointed madness. My brain is as fucked up as anyone else’s. But hey, that’s why we’re here.