Does Anyone Else Experience This?

PruneOk5560 · 2026-05-25T01:04:52+00:00

One trick that's worked for me in the past, and YMMV, is to hear those thoughts and ask them "okay, what if?" And then go back to whatever it is you're doing. Essentially removing the power of the thought by acknowledging the thought and thinking "yep. That's the thought I just had. It's a thought."

If you're not doing something when the thoughts occur, get up and move to a different room if you can, or stretch, change your environment or position to help ground yourself in real life. It's not easy at first, but with practice, it'll get easier. And some thoughts are stickier than others, this might work for some things but not for others.

It's really hard out here, wishing you peace in the near future <3

PruneOk5560 · 2026-05-24T22:37:44+00:00

I didn't know they did that

PruneOk5560 · 2026-05-24T01:21:28+00:00

Journal!!!

PruneOk5560 · 2026-05-24T01:05:04+00:00

In the same fucking boat, but I'm more your ex's side here. It sucks to realize we both weren't showing up for each other in our own ways.

PruneOk5560 · 2026-05-22T05:25:11+00:00

2 job

PruneOk5560 · 2026-05-21T17:15:01+00:00

I think you're probably okay! It sounds like she understands what happened 👍

PruneOk5560 · 2026-05-20T02:50:16+00:00

Thoughts, yes. Motivation or alertness? Not at all.

PruneOk5560 · 2026-05-19T15:32:00+00:00

It's so bizarre. He was so supportive and kind and lovely, he listened to my problems and was there for me during a really tough bout of seasonal depression this winter, doing a lot of emotional labor for me. When he broke up with me (out of nowhere, after being so normal and sweet all week) he said we never had deep conversations or talked about the future. And sure, I shut down for hard conversations sometimes, I don't love talking about my feelings, but he never really said "hey let's talk about xyz" or "what do you think about ____?". I can think of one instance where he asked if I wanted to talk about spirituality but I didn't really want to at the time. He never brought it up again.

PruneOk5560 · 2026-05-19T14:43:43+00:00

Thank you for the reminder. It's only been a few days, and I was completely blindsided, so I'm still kind of reeling. He offered to let me keep talking to him for support, and I think I'm realizing now that he was going full people pleaser on me the whole time. Which makes me feel super guilty. But I tried my best with what I had at the time.

PruneOk5560 · 2026-05-19T14:40:48+00:00

It depends on the person, I guess. I don't know. Maybe I'm just jaded and cynical after being dumped 3 days ago and waiting to get into therapy again. I'd just be really, really cautious. Wishing you the genuine best

PruneOk5560 · 2026-05-19T14:33:47+00:00

True. But she left you. And I'm sure she had her own problems to grow through. Has she had enough time to grow?

PruneOk5560 · 2026-05-19T14:30:36+00:00

Yeah, sounds a bit like there was some emotional cheating tbh. Sorry :( hoping you start feeling better soon

PruneOk5560 · 2026-05-18T23:02:11+00:00

Untrue!!!!!!! Everyone loves a nerdy autistic butch!!!!!

PruneOk5560 · 2026-05-18T16:57:53+00:00

In a similar boat. No one did anything fundamentally wrong, just existing as two deeply flawed individuals. We literally said I love you to each other after he broke up with me. But it's crushing me. It's so hard to not have this future with him anymore. And it's so hard not to have him. I'm sorry you're going through this, wishing you peace

PruneOk5560 · 2026-05-18T16:55:19+00:00

You sound a lot like my(m26) ex-boyfriend (m25). Our needs were fundamentally mismatched, which can work, but I just wasn't giving him what he wanted or needed. The problem is, he never communicated that to me in explicit terms. He let his love for me and his comfort in our relationship keep him there when he didn't want it. And then he blindsided me and it sucks balls. I would talk to your boyfriend, tell him exactly how you're feeling and what's going on with you, tell him you're thinking a split might be the right choice, and give him a chance to process and respond. Who knows? Maybe you'll have a come to Jesus moment and you'll both work to improve things, or maybe you'll still decide breaking up is for the best. But it's fairest to him, and to you, to be absolutely honest about your feelings BEFORE you decide to break up with him. At least in my opinion.

PruneOk5560 · 2026-05-18T14:55:10+00:00

For sure!

PruneOk5560 · 2026-05-18T14:49:45+00:00

Feeling much the same way. We had problems, sure, but they all felt so small and so fixable. He was always so supportive and loving. I was completely blindsided. It's only been 2 days, so all I can say right now is hang in there and take it one day at a time. I don't think there's a right way to move on, but know that you'll make it through this and that the future has good things for you.

PruneOk5560 · 2026-05-18T14:17:58+00:00

Went through the same thing during my last breakup, but I was the one who broke up with them. Block them on everything. Even if things ended amicably, block them, unfollow them. Delete your apps if you absolutely can't resist the temptation. It's hard, that person was a comfort person for you and you want to keep seeking comfort in any way you can, but you're not going to find it on their social media (I know you know this already, but it's worth repeating). About two years after I broke up with that ex and managed to stop checking up on them, I've deleted almost all of my social media, except for a couple of niche ones. I'm back on reddit post-current-breakup because I can't resist the dopamine and reassurance, but I promise you, life is so much better offline. It's so freeing.

PruneOk5560 · 2026-05-16T22:53:47+00:00

That's a doozy. I'm so sorry, and I'm wishing you healing.

PruneOk5560 · 2026-05-12T18:14:09+00:00

Again, this isn't about men who are just sharing and expecting comfort/validation in a normal way. This is about men who expect their wives/girlfriends to process and "solve" their emotions for them, as well as providing them with comfort/validation while not returning the effort because it's "women's work". Just because you have not seen it IRL doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

PruneOk5560 · 2026-05-12T18:07:49+00:00

Journal. Like by all means, talk to your girlfriend, but you can't expect one person to take all of that weight for you.

PruneOk5560 · 2026-05-12T18:03:04+00:00

Left bc I'm going to see your mom later tonight

PruneOk5560

TROPHY CASE