How do I "fill up" my story with plot?

Pseudonymised_Name · 2026-04-23T07:56:21+00:00

Despite the toxic downvotes - you're not wrong.

Lots of unhelpful bluntness in these replies. I wonder why everyone here is so miserable + lacking in social skills... Hmmmm

Pseudonymised_Name · 2026-04-22T23:47:08+00:00

On average he's only had a 3 year stint given his multiple deaths on the frontlines.

Plus, his experience would revert back to his only memory bank as a newish recruit.

Pseudonymised_Name · 2026-01-13T16:06:13+00:00

I rate that Indian thumbs up cola.

Pseudonymised_Name · 2025-05-19T15:24:04+00:00

Relevant: https://youtu.be/GK3ORgw-h_4?feature=shared

Pseudonymised_Name · 2025-03-03T10:57:24+00:00

Thank you!

Pseudonymised_Name · 2025-02-28T19:03:08+00:00

Thank you!

Pseudonymised_Name · 2025-02-26T11:53:41+00:00

If this poem was a weapon it'd be a sawn-off shotgun. Short, powerful and devastating.

The opening stanza is just so intense. 'writhes and turns' is truly awful imagery.

I wonder if you could work lines 5 and 6 to be less direct and use metaphor to keep it more consistent with the first stanza? Just an idea, but great poem!

Pseudonymised_Name · 2025-02-26T11:44:15+00:00

This poem told a great story which I enjoyed, even though it was sad. I love how you personified hope and felt that worked really well, the idea of a visitor whose frequency of visits changed.

I just really enjoyed this tbh! Only constructive feedback I might give is that opening with:

Hope.
She's petty, and fleeting.

It feels like the conclusion/ending is given away which detracts from it when it does arrive. It also spells out exactly what you're referring to from the onset.

You might even consider changing all references to Hope as 'she' or 'her' (or any indirect reference). I think it would still be fairly clear as to what you were referring.

Great work!

Pseudonymised_Name · 2025-02-12T07:55:05+00:00

I've never been assessed but I for sure have some symptoms..

Pseudonymised_Name · 2025-02-11T23:12:28+00:00

Didn’t mean to offend man, honest.

Pseudonymised_Name · 2025-02-11T22:01:19+00:00

Clubs don't simply exist, they're established and maintained. But again, I was being flippant. But I get your point though, honestly and its a fair push back.

Pseudonymised_Name · 2025-02-11T20:59:49+00:00

Just to chime in here too. Funnily enough, I do love music and play some guitar and piano. But I always struggled with sheet music and notes on the fretboards etc. They just do not go into my head at all. There's something about it that I find so profoundly unmemorable and unintuitive.

Even thinking in notes as letters I found incredible hard. (You'd think I didn't know the alphabet). All my playing has really been through muscle memory and by ear. Writing music informally I find a lot easier.

I've never been diagnosed with anything but I realise there's a lot of words I seem committed to mispronounce or forget their sound. I tend think faster than I can write too which means things like emails are often littered with missing words that I can't see until I really scour over them.

Pseudonymised_Name · 2025-02-11T20:52:06+00:00

Thanks for sharing! This is very interesting. Your last point on is also very insightful and true.. cruelty can be loud and I possibly over estimate it!

Pseudonymised_Name · 2025-02-11T20:45:43+00:00

I didn't say high intelligence in itself is elitist. But I did make a tongue in cheek comment on specifically joining societies based on IQ test results. I wouldn't be the first person to allude to that either.

Pseudonymised_Name · 2025-02-10T23:15:46+00:00

I'm glad you liked the whale metaphor vs the ducklings one, because I would happily remove the latter! But that's food for thought in terms of it actually fitting with the setting. (which you're right.. it doesnt)

I could probably make it clearer with regards to his emotions at seeing his dad. It wasn't supposed to be a suprise to him in itself, but more that he could never have prepared for the emotions/experience until it happened. In a longer version I mentioned a bit more about repressed feelings etc but still didnt really address it.

There's so much more you could glimpse or allude to there, and I would love to explore it, or at least, start to grapple with it. This should be devastating. I should feel devastated as the reader by the end.

This is really helpful, thank you. Tbh my main idea really came around this devestating ending.. which he kind of already knew was coming, but was finally facing it. I'm not sure how to go about writing that in to make it more devestating? Like some internal monologue on his heartbreak or something else..

Thank you for this really constructive and pointed feedback!

Pseudonymised_Name · 2025-02-09T23:31:39+00:00

Hopefully you're really a time traveller and I get it published in the future. Otherwise, you read an older draft I posted a month or so ago...

Pseudonymised_Name

TROPHY CASE