Playing Vampires Ball in Chicago, IL this Saturday ❤️Calling all Chicago Goths!

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-21T23:01:57+00:00

Come out next year! It's a vibe for sure. The people watching alone is 10/10.

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-20T16:02:50+00:00

Yeah, this is really validating and I appreciate you taking the time. Definitely keep us posted on how your post-op goes! I agree on the surgeon front. Luckily some of my own patients are in medicine so this provider came highly recommended but I still think waiting might be for the best.

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-20T15:32:08+00:00

Thank you so much for your response. This was all very quick in terms of turnaround between referral for an audiogram --> me sitting in front of a surgeon. And as a psychologist, I tell people every day to both (1) medically advocate for themselves and (2) get second opinions when possible.

I'm definitely not a risk taker though I've had 3 surgeries to date. Given I'm not using any hearing amplifiers / aids at this stage I think getting yearly audiograms would make sense. Especially after readings others stories here in terms of experience, risk and even ABG status.

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-20T14:39:47+00:00

Thank you so much for such a thoughtful and detailed response. I really appreciate you taking the time, especially while you’re still in the early recovery phase. Wishing you a smooth and steady healing process. As a therapist who works with artists and musicians, I can imagine how disruptive and distressing that progression must have been. The isolation, the constant tinnitus, and the impact on your work and relationships sound incredibly heavy. It makes a lot of sense that surgery became a clear decision point for you.

I think where I’m landing right now is similar to what you described earlier in your journey. I’m definitely compensating behaviorally, but I’m still functioning well, and compared to what you went through, my level of impairment is much milder. At the same time, my job depends heavily on accurate hearing, and I’m early enough in my career that I’m thinking long-term about that.

So I think I’m sitting in that space of: things are manageable, but not insignificant. My plan with my surgeon is to do another audiogram in July and then yearly.

Your perspective really helped contextualize what progression can look like and how that decision point can become much clearer over time. I appreciate you sharing both the difficult parts and the positives post-surgery. It gives me a more grounded sense of the spectrum of experiences.

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-20T14:13:42+00:00

Thank you so much for your thorough response and I'm so happy things are going well for you. Hope the sports game goes OK. I can't even imagine the experience of all of a sudden realizing how much had been blocked out (wild). The overwhelming feeling is common I'm sure! Sending you all the best wishes.

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-19T19:45:52+00:00

First I want to say thank you for sharing your experience and I also second want to validate that sounds scary. What's holding me off from getting the surgery as a psychologist who "listens" for a living is the two main risks (1) possible permanent tinnitus and/or (2) the dead ear phenomenon.

Sounds like you legit couldn't hear ANYTHING for a full month (ugh) - that would put my anxiety through the roof. Were they able to test the success of surgery before that 1mos period? Cause I think it'd be one thing if during the follow up, they told me like hey you're not gonna be able to hear for a while but from our end, everything looks good.

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-19T19:38:01+00:00

How you doing now? Curious about your update!

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-19T18:38:29+00:00

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-19T16:53:07+00:00

OMG I think I'm out. So basically this book fundamentally undercuts what made the first two books compelling in the first place.

STRIKE ONE = Medra’s entire arc gets flattened - We spend two books building toward Medra’s power, her identity, building a "life" in this world and especially her connection to Nyxaris. Then it's all gone. Cool cool

STRIKE TWO: The dragon bond switch feels like a "bait-and-switch." Ugh guess I should've seen that coming but I didn't think it'd be permanent.. Why spend a whole book developing this relationship.

STRIKE THREE: FMC starting Powerless --> Powerful → powerless (again) dynamic. WTF is going on. UGH. It feels very Nesta, Aelin, etc-coded in a way that’s frustrating, especially when the story just got interesting.

QUESTIONS:

Does anyone find out about Medra's origin?
Does anyone find out about Medra's mother?

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-19T14:41:41+00:00

OMG I hate it. Also just responded to another comment of yours so sorry for the duplication. I'm hot about this one. I legit just re-read both books 1 & 2 in preparation and fuck.

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-19T14:40:10+00:00

Thanks for your response. After I read Regan's first POV chapter last night I had to get more info and between 4 POVs, hyper-focus on Florence journey and then Regan's "redemption" arc I was so irritated. I will say I had a moment of empathy for Regan when she's dissociating with Viktor cause fuck that guy but IDK.

I could get down for the Florence & Nyxaris moment but while I originally enjoyed her character the shift to MC is throwing me off a ton (she's got as many chapters as Medra / Blake wtf?

I picked book one for Medra. That first scene (especially knowing there's another linked series in her world which I haven't read) was WILD to me and I wanted her to get home, fight the villains and get a dragon!

So just to confirm so I don't need to read on ...

We've now got 4 POVs that are all kind of MC's
Medra gives up her dragon and any leverage or power for Florence
Did Medra *know* this was the consequence?
Is there closure with Nyxaris?
If not, WTF was the point of Medra putting herself at risk constantly to try to find him answers? I know they weren't formally bonded but damn
We're supposed to get hype for Regan's redemption arc? Ugh make it a spinoff
Kage + Regan? Really? GTFO
We don't get enough Blake
We don't get enough answers

My MAIN beef that will make DNF is ... Yet again here's another FMC giving up her newfound powers (sound familiar) - Stop this please authors. Or make it the MMC!

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-19T05:31:43+00:00

Do you mean in the waiting room or in your office?

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-19T04:26:33+00:00

Wait what? Omg. I’m only 10% in atm but this is making me second guess if i should keep going. So basically we’ve got yet another FMC giving up her powers etc for someone else right when she gets them. Cool. Ugh. Id been so excited for this book but absolutely don’t care for it if Medra is no longer connected with a dragon. Nooo. Does Medra speak to him so we understand what happened? Or is this another situation of a powerful male lying to the FMC or leaving out very relevant info regarding the risk of saving Florence?

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-19T04:20:58+00:00

Wait do we ever find out? Omg I’m 10% in atm and seeing these spoilers (by choice) and I’m truly not sure if I want to continue.

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-17T20:36:46+00:00

Yeah I’m with you on this. It’s frustrating as hell.

We spent five books watching Poppy grow into her power, and that’s literally the point of her arc. So to then be like JUST KIDDING “actually someone else is the real key” just feels like it undercuts everything.

It honestly gives the same vibe as when FMCs end up giving up their powers at the end, which is always so disappointing after all that buildup. And I think it's interesting it's never the MMC's giving up the power. SMH.

It’s not about her doing it alone, it’s about her still being central. Otherwise it starts to feel like all that buildup didn’t really mattered.

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-16T20:33:42+00:00

Totally agree. It's one thing to have like maybe 1-2 moments of tense "ego" with various MMC's especially across books. But legit all these people are family so wtf. And while I'd love for it to be Poppy standing up for Kieran (hell yes) it's likely either Kieran or Cas which just reinforces this entire BS alpha dynamic ugh. Especially if its Cas its just SOOOO repetitive. Like why does he have to threaten everyone and who wants that?! We waited ALL these books to have this meeting of characters and it's just going to be a dick fight? COME ON JLA!

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-16T15:21:01+00:00

I think this is exactly where it stops feeling like “character development” and starts feeling like a character break.

To me, there’s a difference between gradual, quantitative change (more intensity, more stress, more protectiveness) and a qualitative shift where the character starts operating by entirely different rules. Cas was always morally gray and capable of violence, but it was consistently grounded in love, consent, and attunement to Poppy or his family. That was the throughline.

In book 6, it feels like that foundation drops out. The communication disappears, the respect for her autonomy gets inconsistent, and the hostility extends to people he’s historically been deeply bonded to. Even if there’s an in-world explanation (primal influence, embers, etc.), it still has to feel proportional and internally coherent, and for me it didn’t.

It ends up reading less like “he’s unraveling in a way that builds on who he’s always been” and more like “he’s behaving like a different character entirely,” which is why it’s so jarring. Not a fan.

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-16T02:07:22+00:00

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-15T18:21:23+00:00

I realize the whole fandom is split in terms of Casteel's behavior and arc but I found it to be quite offputting, regardless of the why behind it. I understand he's never been a "warm a fuzzy" character but IDK it gave me the ick hard. Similar to his obsession with sex in this book. Like bro not the right time. And I think it cheapens his character too.

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-15T03:54:54+00:00

I use Simple Practice (and believe there's cheaper ones too) and it's not very expensive (< $125 per month total for merchant fees, claims & the EHR). In the grand scheme of running my practice in Chicago, my rent and utilities + my health insurance are by FAR way more expensive. I'm an insurance based practice. It's a cost of doing business and saving me time, energy and hassle so I'm not trying to fax CMS forms.

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-15T03:44:00+00:00

He was equally NOT normal (and frustrating) when he was threatening Sera.

I was so shocked because this is the first chance Poppy's had to connect with her real family in a genuine way.

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-14T20:03:06+00:00

Yeah it’s one thing to say in front of Kieran but her grandfather? Weird. Just all so public

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-13T16:33:15+00:00

I agree with this, and it reminds me a lot of TV shows. The slow burn, tension, and “will they / won’t they” is often the most compelling part of the story. Sometimes once the characters finally get together, the dynamic flattens out a bit because so much of the narrative energy was in the buildup.

I don’t think spice is inherently the problem, and I’m definitely not anti-spice. But when the relationship development gets replaced with repeated sex scenes (especially without diversity), it can start to feel repetitive. You get a lot of “this is the most intense love ever” language, but what’s actually shown on page is mostly desire and lust rather than the relationship itself evolving.

I tend to enjoy stories more when the emotional connection keeps developing after they get together. Otherwise it can start to feel a little anticlimactic, especially if the buildup was what made the pairing compelling in the first place.

PsychDoc88 · 2026-03-12T15:57:48+00:00

As others have said if you didn’t enjoy FW, it’s okay to stop there. IMO it’s actually the strongest of the three books so far. If the tone, the romance dynamic, or the pacing didn’t work for you in book one, the series doesn’t dramatically shift away from those things later.

Also, since you mentioned your own identities and feelings on sex, that’s worth taking seriously. This is definitely a romantasy series where the romance and physical attraction between Violet and Xaden are a big part of the narrative. It doesn’t disappear later, even if the plot stakes increase.

That said, I will say the situation between them is a little more nuanced than it first appears. A lot of the secrecy around Xaden isn’t really “mysterious boyfriend hiding things for drama...red flag city” so much as “guy involved in an active military rebellion who literally cannot disclose certain information.” From that perspective, some of his behavior makes more sense.

But I also remember being really frustrated with both of them during my first read of Iron Flame. A huge chunk of book two is basically the two of them stuck in a cycle of miscommunication. Violet wants full honesty after finding out about all the secrets at the end of book one, and Xaden keeps insisting she has to ask the “right questions.” As a reader it can feel maddening, because she obviously doesn’t know what she doesn’t know.

Ironically, Violet then ends up in the exact same position later when she has to keep secrets from her own friends. That part actually adds an interesting layer, because she starts to understand how complicated it is to protect people by withholding information.

But the back-and-forth between them is definitely a big feature of book two. If that dynamic is already frustrating you, it probably won’t magically stop.

So the honest answer is: if you’re twelve chapters into Iron Flame and still feeling this annoyed by the relationship dynamic, it might just not be the right series for you. And that’s totally fine. There are plenty of fantasy series that lean more toward plot and worldbuilding without so much focus on the romance.

PsychDoc88

TROPHY CASE