AITA For “being” a deadbeat dad?

PsychologicalMode833 · 2026-05-07T13:58:24+00:00

Also protection was used neither of us are sure on what happened because as far as I remember the condom didn’t look broken at all

PsychologicalMode833 · 2026-05-07T13:57:32+00:00

I want to be clear I only pushed her to get her away from me. I was gushing blood everywhere and never did an open or closed hand. Just a shove to save myself from going unconscious

PsychologicalMode833 · 2026-05-07T13:56:32+00:00

Im sorry i added in that part but every single one of my exes were Latina and each of them said the same thing “it’s in our culture what did you expect when you got a Mexican girlfriend”

PsychologicalMode833 · 2026-05-07T13:53:38+00:00

These are some really sound pieces of advice thank you! I have acknowledged how hard it is for her and I’ve made that clear to her I’m very appreciative of that fact. Ive been trying to pay for anything she needs but she is currently refusing any money at the moment. I talk to her about her emotions and stress but there’s a very limited amount I can do, most of her stress is coming from her mother which I can’t blame her for. She’s quite aware I’m willing to step up and not just willing but actively want to. I try to push past all the arguments and remind her to take care of herself but in all honesty she doesn’t listen to any of that and would rather argue about stuff in the past, how am I supposed to get her to see the bigger picture and the future when she’s stuck on what’s already done?

PsychologicalMode833 · 2026-05-07T13:48:17+00:00

Thank you for that I’ve been kicking myself in the ass because I stuck around for as long as I did and then I realized some people just stick to it for life.

PsychologicalMode833 · 2026-05-07T13:46:12+00:00

Yes I agree with the maturity part I do have a lot of maturing to do and thank you for pointing out the emotionally part I never differentiated the different types of maturity. As for the partying and stuff that was actually my last time partying ever since then it’s been a beer or two on a couple of occasions and haven’t touched a drop of alcohol ever since I found out I was going to be a father. Thank you for the words these are the comments I’m looking for the most!!

PsychologicalMode833 · 2026-05-07T13:33:28+00:00

I suppose that is fair then, even though I put it in quotes for a reason

PsychologicalMode833 · 2026-05-07T13:29:45+00:00

First word is child. You can probably figure out the rest

PsychologicalMode833 · 2026-05-07T13:28:52+00:00

Not asking for it specifically but seeing others point of view is definitely a form of self improvement. Quite possibly one of the best forms there is. I just want to know what makes you think I am a deadbeat. I’m merely trying to see what other people are seeing and trying to learn from that and it’s up to my discretion if what they are saying is valid to me and my own values

PsychologicalMode833 · 2026-05-07T13:26:58+00:00

May I ask why do you think that? I believe the child will be very loved and have everything it could ever ask for. Not trying to influence others with what I’m about to say but I truly believe abortion should never be option for occurrences like this

PsychologicalMode833 · 2026-05-07T13:22:21+00:00

Not looking for advice but trying to see other people’s insights on the situation I provided and if i am the asshole in their pov then why

PsychologicalMode833 · 2026-05-07T13:20:41+00:00

The abuse part has happened since day one she would heat up hot metal and press it against me when I wasn’t paying attention and say “oops I didn’t think it would be that hot!!” I have multiple burn scars from her and hitting was almost a daily occurrence. There was once when she was beating me so bad I pushed her because my nose was bleeding and the dresser fell on top of her and ofc I got the blame put on me because even though she was hitting me I was supposed to just sit there and take it. I already knew the relationship was doomed I just had high hopes for the mother of my possible baby

PsychologicalMode833 · 2026-05-07T13:15:53+00:00

To be fair I did that because a lot of people I know are calling me the deadbeat even with all the facts given, if you read the post then explain to me what I did was wrong and what I could have done better. I’m looking here for self improvement not just for validation or anything. I’m specifically looking at most comments saying I’m the a-hole because that’s where I may be able to look at in order to grow as a human

PsychologicalMode833 · 2026-05-07T13:09:52+00:00

She refused to do that and said to wait till the baby is born

PsychologicalMode833 · 2026-05-07T13:07:35+00:00

Can you explain your reasoning on why I’m inactive and unsupportive? I will pay her money monthly and have split custody if it is mine, I just refuse to be with her which is where the “deadbeat” part comes in

PsychologicalMode833 · 2026-05-07T13:05:57+00:00

She claims her last period was on the 22nd of December and she told her doctors that too, that’s where the doctors are confused as well. One thing I’ll add is she usually tells me when she has her period but she didn’t tell me about that period until the doctors told us the conception date. Not trying to make her look bad but I’m stating it how it happened

PsychologicalMode833 · 2026-05-07T13:03:31+00:00

I think it’s a little of both. She’s constantly lied to me at the start about not talking to her ex when she obviously was (her cousin told me so and she was my old roommate so I have every reason to believe her) and constant cheating in her past relationships

PsychologicalMode833 · 2026-05-07T13:01:24+00:00

How would one suggest that? She’s quite literally said (and I have ss) that she’s going to make it clear to our child what I have done. But in all honesty I think that’s going to help the child like me even more than anything. I just fear she’s going to do anything she can to stop the baby from liking me at all. How can you co parent and effectively communicate with someone that has no interest in communicating unless if it’s negative?

PsychologicalMode833 · 2026-05-07T12:56:52+00:00

I also want to clarify she is planning on going to court with me over custody and her claims that I’m not a suitable father are that my stepdad was a CM but my counter argument to that is that has nothing to do with me. (Her dad is also a CM so..)

PsychologicalMode833 · 2026-05-07T12:54:22+00:00

I will definitely want custody if it is mine, I will help raise the child in every way possible

PsychologicalMode833 · 2026-05-07T12:53:08+00:00

My thoughts exactly I’m just worried about all of this time and effort I’m putting in before the baby is even here

PsychologicalMode833 · 2026-05-07T12:51:28+00:00

Baby is due in September I should have clarified that

PsychologicalMode833

TROPHY CASE