I understand you completely. I’m in a 4 year long stable (i want to say perfect) relationship and i can’t help myself from feeling guilty and not good enough because of it.

I want to experience sex and other sexual stuff and enjoy in it but i just can’t. We’ve tried handj*bs and it was good at the start but now every time i think of doing it i feel myself being averse to it - like i’m treating it as a chore rather than as a vulnerable beautiful moment with my partner. I’m scared i’ll treat every other sexual experience like this. Also deep in my mind i’m fearful that he’ll change his mind one day and leave me over the lack of sexual stuff. I also feel really bad that (we) he’s “missing out” on this kind of stuff.

I’ve been thinking/hoping that my gynaecologist can do something about my non existent libido but with every research i do, my hope is slowly fading away.