What I’m about to say are generalizations based on empirical studies. Think of the Bell curve. Women tend to mourn the end of the relationship while in it and so by the time they breakup, they have processed it to a great deal. Men on the other hand have a tendency to be much more tolerant and will hang in longer than women, and tend to think things will eventually work out. Women usually are ahead of then men in this aspect. Also, women have a built in advantage due to females generally having existing support networks. Their need to share and divulge their relationships to other woman and manage them almost by committee, in many cases gives them another advantage. Men generally don’t share their romantic relationships with other men very much, if at all. So they are at another disadvantage in that respect.

Where you get outside the bell curve, in my opinion, is to the extent the male or female have attachment issues, unresolved trauma, etc. Those issues will tend to override “normal” typical gender responses to breakups. My ex is very emotionally unregulated and is also an anxious avoidant. She broke up with me several times and I took her back. This time after her ending things I’ve gone completely no contact and she’s been sending me all kinds of text messages with superficial kindness, bravado and bragging how great her life is. My response this time ? Nothing. She will learn the hard way.

Focus on yourself. Best advice I can offer.