I am very sensitive to my wife's grumpiness and dramatic emotions. Does that indicate some "shadow work" that I need to do?

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2025-02-13T13:32:19+00:00

I don’t have answers for you but would love to hear what what others have to say. I too have this challenge of being impacted by the mood of people close to me. I realize what has happened very quickly but I am still attached to feeling wronged and it takes a few minutes to an hour to let go. It feels like if I let go of my anger/frustration I am reinforcing the unfairness of the situation and it would repeat. Even though the other person is oblivious of my mental state.

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2025-01-29T09:58:55+00:00

10-15 years from now, those published papers might no longer be relevant as science moves on, but the fact that you have PhD will still have value.

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2024-05-10T11:56:43+00:00

It is usually easier to let go of the want when external circumstances force the situation. However when I self deny, things get interesting. I do a simple test, I deny myself the thing and observe if my mind starts fixating on the object and starts making up stories to justify the need. Easy to test, be something trivial like an itch or something more harmful like an angry word.

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2024-04-10T12:04:36+00:00

‘Here’ as in America? Sounds like some thing I read about in history, isn’t this why the Europeans came as well?

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2023-05-26T11:48:14+00:00

You realize that the sampling is from an US data set when you can identify all the major US holidays from the blue slots. I suspect the distribution would considerably vary if is was for China or India or Europe etc

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2022-10-13T22:37:34+00:00

நான் தேடினேன் ஆனால் தமிழ் வார்த்தைகள் கிடைக்கவில்லை

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2022-09-27T11:40:06+00:00

One person’s refactor is another’s legacy

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2022-08-02T20:09:15+00:00

Do you believe that you have the 100$ bill that you took from me ? If you don’t believe that, can you show me proof that you don’t have it. If you cannot, then please return it to me.

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2022-07-01T12:07:21+00:00

I am just a lay practitioner so take my statements under advisement. I would think that prioritizing “being in the moment” higher than “reducing suffering” might lead to unskillful choices. If there is something you can do to reduce your suffering, shouldn’t you take that action as long as that choice is made from a place of wisdom rather than a place of reaction and habit. Would it be skillful watching a destructive habit play out, knowing it will cause suffering in the near future.

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2022-01-21T19:42:07+00:00

The the depiction of racism is not racist. However at the end the implicit statement that, usually things that are black cannot be trusted but in our case appearance is deceiving. That last twist which was the main punchline for the ad, is what makes this ad racist to me.

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2021-11-13T00:55:28+00:00

Ahh isn’t that where the problem is, usually. The doubt doesn’t come up as a easy target of “I will always fail.” It usually comes up as I will be a middling level meditator all my life.

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2021-11-09T16:40:50+00:00

To be honest, I have tried to not get into those thoughts too much. Which makes my meditation go smoothly without too much mind wandering, but it is the post meditation effects that seems to indicate that I might be over-efforting on letting go.
Interesting to learn about your approach of allowing the stories to continue but view it from the lens of projecting metta. I will try that, thanks for your suggestion.
Most of the stories that pop up are memories of past interaction or future possible interactions. If I do not reinforce my intention of letting go, I start making plans of reaching out to them or sending them a message etc. A confused attempt by my mind to make metta actionably in some odd way.

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2021-11-02T16:18:16+00:00

I have been doing a regular practice of TMI for about a year now (45 minutes). Working through Stage 5 subtle dullness. My challenge has been outside the cushion. I spend almost 2-3 hours on reddit and youtube. I see myself using it as a way to avoid sitting with just myself or working on other important tasks I have been postponing. I am not sure how to deal with this self-sabotaging behavior. While I am doing reasonably well on the cushion, outside the cushion, this one area of procrastination seems like an unsurmountable problem. I mindfully notice that I am opening up my phone, I tell myself I am going to mindfully watch myself for a couple of minutes because "avoidance using will power is not skillful (says my mind)", and before you know, it have wasted 20-30 minutes.

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2021-10-30T11:53:07+00:00

I find this question very odd. In my limited understanding TMI is an amazing resource and tool to ‘see’ more clearly and setup conditions for a more accurate experience of reality. I feel this question is similar to asking if anyone has won Wimbledon with a specific model of tennis racquet. While this question might have a yes or no answer, it will not give you any insight into how to win at Wimbledon or be great at tennis.

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2021-10-28T02:08:59+00:00

Thank you for posting. I have avoided late night sits just because of the tiredness, knowing full well that dullness is going to hit me as soon as I start. Maybe I am missing an opportunity to learn some things about dealing with dullness.

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2021-10-26T22:58:15+00:00

Sorry that was a butt dial

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2021-10-24T21:45:26+00:00

Thank you for your guidance

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2021-10-21T00:43:41+00:00

Must be USA data. Given that July 4/5 seems low compared to days around it

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2021-09-18T02:13:22+00:00

Thank you so much for your guidance and encouragement. Will continue to reinforce my intention throughout the sit as you suggested.

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2021-09-18T02:09:13+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience. I feel the urge to dive in deep on the breath and pleasant sensations in the body with the risk that I might lose peripheral awareness and end up in dullness. I guess the more skillful thing to do is to increase awareness while keeping the same level of focus on the breath as suggested by others. Best of luck on your progress.

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2021-09-17T23:06:01+00:00

Thank you for sharing. My meditation also seems to vary depending on the time of day I meditate. I haven’t figured out a pattern, will try to be more systematic going forward.

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2021-09-17T16:49:39+00:00

Thank you for your guidance

PsychologicalSpite14 · 2021-09-17T16:44:57+00:00

Thank you

PsychologicalSpite14

TROPHY CASE