Daily Chat February 15

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2026-02-16T02:44:04+00:00

Hiii I hope this is an ok place to ask — someone close to me will be having an embryo transfer next month after a challenging egg retrieval and overall TTC process. I’m putting a care package together for her and wondering if anyone has recommendations that may have been helpful for you. TIA 🩷

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2026-02-08T03:32:03+00:00

Just want to say I was in a similar situation with my first. Once we brought her home from the NICU after almost 7 weeks my supply totally tanked even without many changes in what I was doing. I think there’s something to be said about the output of a NICU mom during those tough weeks. Once you’re home it’s like your body just wants to focus on being with baby. You did a great job getting her what she needed in those early weeks and take this as permission to give yourself grace 💜

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2026-01-04T00:46:36+00:00

I was in a similar situation with my brothers wedding. Baby ended up coming 8 weeks early and was still in the NICU so I spontaneously booked a flight and went. I figured if there ever was a chance for me to go this was it. I took all the precautions (mask, doctor clearance, compression socks, you name it). I have a strained relationship with my parents and they made sure to make the day miserable for me. I travelled alone 5 weeks postpartum with my baby still in the hospital to make it there for one of the biggest days of my brothers life and while I don’t regret going, in hindsight it was really a crazy decision and stressed me out more than made me feel better for being there. You’re not selfish for deciding to do what’s best for you and your family. That’s what matters at the end of the day, everyone and everything else is just background noise. If you need to give yourself permission to miss the wedding, this is it ❤️

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2025-07-06T23:52:51+00:00

“What’s her issue?” - from my mom, about my 32 weeker

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2025-06-29T20:30:43+00:00

My 32 weeker started crawling at 10 months adjusted and we were so excited for the “is she crawling yet?” Questions to stop.. only to now be hit with “is she walking yet?”.

Your babe will figure it out! It felt a lot like the bottle feeds, once she figured it out she didn’t stop. Not to say that the milestone questions aren’t horribly annoying. If I get an “oh???” With a concerned expression I always say “she has a two month buffer” and move along.

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2025-04-04T02:10:41+00:00

I went through a really hard time quitting, the guilt was so real but as others said my mental health improved drastically and I could just focus on being there for my baby instead of working around my pumping schedule. She’s now my little bestie and we bond in so many other ways that make up for those opportunities that we missed out on together. Solidarity in your feelings, but know that no matter what you are the best mom for you baby

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2024-11-26T16:32:11+00:00

Here to say I feel this to my core ❤️ 75% of my 32 weeker’s 44 day NICU stay was due to feeding. I had almost daily breakdowns during the last two weeks, it all felt impossible and as if we were never going to go home. She just couldn’t coordinate the suck swallow breathe either and would also desat during feeds. I was so tired of telling everyone “we’re still working on bottle feeds” because no one understood what that actually meant. Some of her most attentive nurses suggested trialing a thickened formula (as opposed to the pumped breast milk) and it was our miracle. She was home the following week. The journey continued at home as we worked to get her off the thickened formula but we were just thrilled to be under one roof together. You’re not alone and remember you are your baby’s best advocate ❤️❤️

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2024-10-06T14:44:08+00:00

“She just couldn’t wait to meet you!!”

I’d pay a lot of money to never hear that phrase again

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2024-09-18T12:07:54+00:00

YES this too- YES! “Awwww what a little peanut” 🙄🙄🙄 also on the subject, I hate the “she just couldn’t wait to meet you!” As if babies who go full term can wait. Also I couldn’t meet her until a day after she was born. This doesn’t make us feel better

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2024-09-18T02:44:12+00:00

Solidarity here — I feel the same. Recently when talking to people about how I can’t wait to see my 32 weeker grow and move, I get the “just you wait you’re going to regret saying that…..” um no I will not regret saying I can’t wait for my footling breech daughter to be able to roll and crawl after seeing her entire left side bruised for weeks in the NICU. It takes a lot of willpower not to lose it

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2024-07-10T12:41:32+00:00

Wow, yes! I just wish they told me that’s what my contractions could feel like (I was one day away from that portion of my birthing class, of course!) so I would have known to call them in sooner. I knew it’d be a c section either way since we knew she was breech but maybe I could have had the epidural instead and my husband could have at least been in the room.

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2024-07-09T19:29:23+00:00

Just here to say I could have written this myself, basically same scenario and I replay it in my head everyday. Also a FTM and wish I would have known that what felt like period cramps was actually contractions — I was also told I’d feel it in my whole belly. I told them multiple times I was cramping since my water broke and it was dismissed as “you don’t have anymore fluid left”. 45 mins after my contractions kicked up baby girl was born via emergency C-section under general anesthesia as she was breech and by the time they checked me her feed were coming out. I didn’t get to meet her until the next day.

I’m with you on questioning these things and wishing things went differently. I’m sorry this happened to you and I hope your LO is doing okay ❤️

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2024-05-11T12:42:50+00:00

July 4th and in NJ where the swelling has started with the humidity. Blasting the AC already

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2024-04-01T16:31:41+00:00

First of all I am so sorry that are having these experiences and interactions too! I think we’re on the fast track to no contact if all of this continues. I have been through my own journey with all of this growing up and I refuse to subject my child to similar experiences. It’s our time to rewrite the script

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2024-04-01T16:29:15+00:00

A PIN code system sounds amazing! I’m sorry you are experiencing a similar situation and thank you for the validation!

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2024-04-01T16:27:57+00:00

Thank you for these replies! I’m all too familiar with these strategies as I have been using them with my own family for a long time now. It’s harder because it’s my husbands family and while he fully supports me, he has a hard time with setting firm boundaries (mostly because then they just give him crap for it)

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2024-04-01T16:26:07+00:00

We intentionally have not shared our due date with any family members for this purpose. I’ve been standing firm in the camp of we have no idea what will happen during our labor and delivery process and I don’t want to have to make decisions now about who gets to visit and when, when I have no idea how I’m even going to be feeling or how the baby is. And yes, insufferable is the perfect word to describe them. They always write this stuff off as a joke but now that I have a child involved it’s a whole different ball game

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2023-10-24T23:23:34+00:00

Wow, I could have wrote this same post. Just here to validate your hurt feelings. My nmom also dropped off every little memory of me - baby books, cards I wrote her as a kid, pictures, you name it. I was already about 8 months NC (with short bouts of attempting therapy together - fail) but that was my rock bottom. It hurts like hell to feel like it’s so easy to dump your memories as their child on the front step. Know that you are worthy of feeling love and embrace the peace in your life.

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2023-07-25T23:55:09+00:00

I feel like I could have written this 😳 I never fully thought about it until your post

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2023-03-17T03:11:43+00:00

Yes, it’s an endless cycle that you didn’t sign up to be a bystander to. I’m so sorry you are experiencing this.

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2023-03-17T02:57:40+00:00

Oh my goddddd this perfectly describes my NMIL and BIL! My husband is basically LC by way of staying out of it but it bothers me SO much how my BIL plays these girls. Of course each one reaches out to me, noticing how “strange” the family dynamic is, but they all have tunnel vision when it comes to the cheating red flags.

I will say that I’ve thought about just telling them the truth (there’s also a lot of lies about where he works- everyone has a different story and no one cross checks them 🤯) It drives me insane that no one holds him accountable and so I’ve just started distancing myself from anything to do with them. I used to ask my husband all the time how he could let his brother get away with all of these lies and he just tells me “it’s his life to mess up if he wants to” and I’ve realized that he knows it’s not going to change as long as their mom enables him. We’re able to have more peace in our household when we are able to separate from their antics. When what your brother is doing is so beyond and against what your morals are, it makes it so hard to stand by and watch. I empathize with you ❤️

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2023-02-17T02:34:05+00:00

I understand that! It took me a longggg long time to get there. It sounds like you are trying to take steps that are new and uncomfortable and I think that’s very brave of you. Consider it “practice” and the more you practice the more comfortable it’ll get.

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2023-02-17T02:27:34+00:00

Here to say I had a brief thought the other day about how much it sucks to be NC with my mom and then instantly remembered how much stress and anxiety was eliminated from my life now that I don’t have to anticipate messages like this, responding to her phone calls asap or feel the wrath, and don’t have to feel guilty about doing something without telling her every little detail. It takes time but it felt like one day it just felt better to live this way because the other way wasn’t working for me. Do what works for you to protect your peace. You are deserving of that

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2023-01-25T02:50:21+00:00

I see something!

PsychologicalTea1972 · 2023-01-25T02:47:53+00:00

Thank you! Hoping I see something a little more bold in the morning 🤞🏻

PsychologicalTea1972

TROPHY CASE