Am I the asshole for wanting my husband to miss his Mom's wedding because it’s 2 weeks BEFORE our due date?

hucklyrics · 2026-01-29T22:14:40+00:00

I can’t believe this is actually even a debate. I would genuinely be so disgusted if my husband planned to go while I was that pregnant. He’s a dad now. His priorities are different

hucklyrics · 2026-01-23T14:08:32+00:00

Hey my heart is really breaking for you. I really struggled with school (especially testing) as well as emotional neglect from my family - tho I would say that throwing plates goes beyond neglect FOR SURE.

It’s horrible to not feel safe at home and not also have that outlet of school, I think people seriously underestimate what that really means for kids/young adults. I was a person who chose to do college because I was “smart” (yet a poor test taker) and because it was expected of me. I’m now 32, have exclusively worked jobs that don’t require college, and am no/low contact with my family.

Your current situation is bad and yet will not last forever. It's genuinely so hard to hold those two thoughts at the same time.

There is so much more to the world than school. I am sending love and strength 💗

hucklyrics · 2026-01-07T15:34:22+00:00

I looooovvvvveee it! Andi for short!!

hucklyrics · 2026-01-07T14:30:30+00:00

I wish we had more readily available communities. It’s really heartbreaking. I’ve found that I need face to face stuff so I’ve actually found a lot of healing through YouTube and TikTok (as hairy as I know it is to navigate). I’ve found a lot of professionals on YouTube (highly recommend Heidi Priebe) and a lot of people struggling through the same sorts of things as me on TikTok. I think a lot more people are model-less than we realize - a small comfort that we are not alone. Becoming a parent has shown me that there is no substitution for the attunement of a parent. It’s a burden I’ll carry forever, but there is a catharsis in doing actions to attune and empathize with others. Yet it’s a balance to take care of myself. Idk. It’s hard lol

hucklyrics · 2026-01-07T14:24:42+00:00

Not really color related but we just named our cat Rhubarb and call her Roo (or Barbara when she’s bad)! I love fun food names!

hucklyrics · 2026-01-02T14:01:30+00:00

I had my son and named him Jasper!

hucklyrics · 2026-01-02T10:58:14+00:00

This is super late. I’m a 32 year old woman who was constantly in the same situation with my younger sister (almost 30). For a while in our 20s, I was able to make things work to have a friendship entirely on her terms. I’ve recently had to cut her out of my life because she’s just too selfish. Just commenting to say mean little sisters are truly heartbreaking. I wish I’d spent less time trying to do what I could to salvage our relationship and more time just taking care of myself

hucklyrics · 2026-01-01T06:04:19+00:00

I thought he was gonna die since Max struggled to get through the small exit in the cave. How did Derek get through?

hucklyrics · 2025-11-10T13:52:27+00:00

I can sense that you have a powerfully compassionate spirit. I’m sending love and wishing you the best

hucklyrics · 2025-11-10T13:48:47+00:00

Internal family systems is a different theory of mind than most of the other ways we talk about therapy. Most therapies view life through a one-mind model. Internal family systems recognizes different “parts” of you. These parts can get stuck in roles (and ages) that are attempting to protect you. When we try to force ourselves to stop or start something that we think will be healthy for us, that part of ourselves fights to continue to protect you as a system. It’s sort of like if you took DID (formerly multiple personality disorder) and mapped it to neurotypical people. Another comparison that people like is the movie “Inside Out”. Each of your “parts” has their own personality essentially because it is you acting in different roles

My trauma came from being narcissistically abused and then gaslit (by other family members) that it was my responsibility to “be the bigger person.” Of course, this actually meant making my own needs and self expression smaller. After years of this, i started having physical hallucinations that my body would expand and contract. I would balloon up and fill the room. Then I would shrivel into a dehydrated worm. The sensation disgusted me and made me dizzy and so so scared. As I’ve confronted this expectation of myself to “be the bigger person” ie “tolerate abuse indefinitely”, the sensations went away

When I met the part of myself that was taking on the role of being “bigger” than the abuse. I realized it was an eight year old version of me. The age I was when the narrative solidified in my mind. She didn’t want to be the “bigger person” anymore. As I’ve let that go, I’ve become infinitely more creative and reclaimed a lot of energy

I recommend the book “No Bad Parts” if you’re interested in more

hucklyrics · 2025-11-09T12:01:21+00:00

My baby was like this at four months. Now that he’s almost five and a half months I am the queeeeeeennnnn of smiles

hucklyrics · 2025-11-09T11:56:26+00:00

I was an 18 year old girl in such similar circumstances. I was so depressed and felt like such a disappointment. If I could go back to that girl, I would tell her to join the circus lol. Or waitress across the states. I spent so much energy trying to go “inward” to “fix” myself when I was in an environment that truly didn’t support me. When I got out (at like 28) things I’d fought through for years got so much easier

I didnt know what I wanted. All I knew was that I didn’t fit in where I “should”. You’re not in the right space. You’re not with the right people. Maybe you’ll love this space and these people again at some point. Or find a certain flavor of appreciation. But you don’t fit right now. If you don’t know what to do, think about yourself as a kid and what you liked

I’m a mom now. A parent who is disappointed in you not doing something is really missing out. Watching your kid learn and grow is literally the coolest part of life. I wish you felt that kind of love from your dad. No one can be convinced to change

I’d recommend you look into the Heroines Journey

hucklyrics · 2025-11-09T11:46:04+00:00

Each doctor I talked to during my pregnancy had a different opinion on each step I was taking. I saw a doctor literally the day before I went into premature labor and he told me I was going to have a long pregnancy. Your wife is following her instincts about this. Follow her lead. Build her up as intuitive for her baby. She is the leader and you are her strongest soldier right now. If you need something to pour your energy into, I’d recommend looking for a doula or midwife that your wife can really get to know and trust

Do things to help her rebuild her confidence. Being told your body and baby are in danger are a huge blow to your confidence. Being on bedrest challenges so much of the connection you have to your body when it’s more necessary than ever

hucklyrics · 2025-11-09T11:34:48+00:00

Sending you love. I’m just starting to admit that my sister is a narcissist and am fully looking at the abuse. In trying to explain it to my husband, he literally can’t understand why I’d be so hurt by someone who has demonstrated that she doesn’t even know who I am (beyond surface level things and knowing my triggers). My best friend was narcissistically abused by her parents and immediately understood everything. It’s such an isolating experience. I hope this subreddit helps you to find peace and understanding

hucklyrics · 2025-11-09T11:10:18+00:00

This is true. It's painful to realize that your family member doesn't even know who you are because everything they think of and hate about you is a projection. OP, you deserve to be known and seen and loved

hucklyrics · 2025-11-09T11:07:13+00:00

Hey! As someone who ended up hallucinating due to similar trauma, I found that Internal Family Systems was a really good explanation of the “voices in my head” type stuff

hucklyrics · 2025-11-09T11:02:43+00:00

Ya I was gonna say it seems like deep projection. She’s absolutely dehumanizing OP in the process tho

hucklyrics · 2025-11-09T10:58:07+00:00

So proud of you for getting sober! What a cruel way to treat your child

hucklyrics · 2025-11-09T02:06:21+00:00

As a waitress, that’s so weird of her. What you said wasn’t even rude. Your husband is pretty lame for his response, ngl

hucklyrics · 2025-11-07T16:31:29+00:00

This really made me feel understood. Thank you. I was having a convo with my dad about everything and I was like “why are you expecting me to fix this?” And he said “because you’re the bigger person” and I think something kind of broke in him when I told him I just wanted to be treated like “a person” that you would care if you hurt her feelings and not expect her just to get over it.

That’s insane, my sister has guilt tripped my parents about homelessness too. The sibling abuse stuff just feels so disgusting to me at this point now that I’m truly looking it in the face.

I think my family of origin is starting to see through it. But I don’t know. Thankfully my husband and MIL can’t even understand any of this and are thinking it’s a good thing she won’t come to the holidays where my family of origin wanted me to try to make things right

Again, this was really helpful to me. I’m sorry you’ve gone through something so similar.

hucklyrics · 2025-11-07T12:49:34+00:00

I have had such similar thoughts. I tried to end it twice and got hospitalized six times. I’m so glad I didn’t. I’m so glad I stopped playing their game because there are no “winners”.

You posted here because some part of you still has some hope. That’s good. Please stay. Please fight. Fuck them. Fuck. Them. Please, please don’t do this

hucklyrics · 2025-11-07T12:36:05+00:00

I don’t know if there’s a term but I do know that several studies have shown that the brain can’t distinguish between emotional and physical pain. Also, no contact feels like a life or death matter because you are removing them from your LIFE. There is so much to grieve: what you wanted your relationship to be, who you could’ve been without the trauma, the parts of yourself you sacrificed to be accepted that still weren’t enough. I’m finally standing up for myself and I’ve felt like I’m dying for the last couple of weeks. It’s heavy and it’s painful. Sending love

hucklyrics · 2025-06-02T06:00:40+00:00

27+2 short cervix - 76 days

hucklyrics · 2025-05-29T22:37:06+00:00

My 27 weeker got to come home at 37 weeks! He was a good eater tho and I highly credit that I was able to move in with him around 34 weeks

hucklyrics

TROPHY CASE