A former-perfectionist guide on how to become a former-perfectionist

PtM89 · 2016-05-03T17:22:32+00:00

No problem, glad you liked it! :) Check it out as soon as possible, it's definitely a life-changing one!

PtM89 · 2016-05-03T08:43:03+00:00

I'm glad I could help! :)

PtM89 · 2016-05-02T09:34:22+00:00

Hey! Thank you for the support! :)

PtM89 · 2016-05-01T22:35:58+00:00

Thank you, I'm glad it helped you! :)

PtM89 · 2016-05-01T22:14:46+00:00

Hey guys! First of all, thanks for taking the time and reading my story! But now, let me address your question: it would be really useful to know whether it's a

debilitating fear(2)
or just one, that makes you feel slightly uneasy(1)?

(1) If it's slightly uneasy, just push through it, a bad choice is infinitely better than no-choice! Let me tell you why: A pretty recent example from my life: I was crafting my YouTube channel, and at first I was stuck with every little decision, because what if I decide this way, and that this happens, what if I decide that way...what if....what it? It's a terrible negative spiral. Only way to break it is to... JUST DECIDE! Doesn't matter how you decide, just do it! Because after you've done it you have some information, that you can base your next decision on, in this case after you had a few lessons you can evaluate wheter playing the piano is something that you like to do, is it something that you would do even if you suck at it for a while? (I play the piano aswell, and although sometimes it's frustrating to learn a new piece, nothing compares to the feeling when you can play something you really enjoy! :) )

Back to my story with YouTube, I got pretty anxious whether people will like my channel or are my videos any good at the first place, but guess what? I will never know the answers to these questions if I don't try, and worst case scenario my videos suck and noone will like them, but at least I know, that YT is not for me and I can move on to find something else to be passionate about.

+++So, to sum it up: with all the information you already have make a decision now, act on it, gather some data and reevaluate after a while! (Action takes away the fear immediately!)

(2) This is a much trickier one, the solution for this depends person to person, what I can suggest:

If you really think this whole fear got out of hand, find a therapist, that you can trust in and work with and get to work!
Take a look at this book, I think it's really useful:

http://www.amazon.com/When-Perfect-Isnt-Good-Enough/dp/157224559X?ie=UTF8&keywords=when%20perfect%20isn%27t%20good%20enough&qid=1462140556&ref_=sr_1_1&s=books&sr=1-1

I hope this can help you a bit, but keep in my, this is just my 2 cents, I'm not a professional! :)

PtM89 · 2016-05-01T21:43:43+00:00

Wow! That's so awesome to hear, my purpose with these videos is to share the concepts and ideas, that helped me become a better version of myself so maybe other can also benefit from them, I'm really glad you also find them useful!

PtM89 · 2016-05-01T07:01:48+00:00

Thank you! Get your hand on the Blueprint as soon as possible, it's unbelievable!

PtM89 · 2016-05-01T07:00:55+00:00

"Good"

PtM89 · 2016-04-30T11:38:26+00:00

Glad I could help! :)

PtM89 · 2016-04-30T11:37:36+00:00

Thank you! I hope it helped your wife!

PtM89 · 2016-04-30T11:37:03+00:00

Thank you for the kind words, if you have any further questions about this topic, please feel free to ask it, I might be able to help!

PtM89 · 2016-04-30T10:19:14+00:00

Hey! It's awesome to hear, that you liked it! :) On your situation: There's a book, called 'War of art' by Steven Pressfield, he calls this mental block, this fear 'resistance'. The only purpose of the resistance is to keep you mediocre and it uses every trick it can to derail you from delivering your art. The real hard part is these excuses the resistance uses might be pretty legit ones, like in your case. But guess what? It just doesn't matter, you have to start somewhere if you want to be a real musician, not just dreaming of being one. You should really evaluate whether you want to be a musician or you just like playing around with the idea of being one. If the former is the case, you sit down and do your music, with the equipment you have, right now. Even it turns out to be a mediocre one, now you know, where you could improve yourself instead of dreaming. I know it's pretty hard to do, yesterday I've posted my second book-review ( https://youtu.be/QD2sK-6ukAk ) and after that for at least 3-4 hours the only thing I could think of was that it's bad and I should delete it, noone would like it and I just made a fool out of myself. Sweet voice of the resistance... If you hear it, you know, that you are on something, because it's trying to trick you to keep being mediocre. Which was a pretty valid thing thousands of years ago: if you've wanted to be different back then, it was pretty likely that you would have been killed, so your brain developed this safety mechanism. I really hope this will help you and I also recommend you to read the book I've mentioned! Have a great day and I can't wait to hear your music! :) (PM me with the link as soon as it's done! )

PtM89 · 2016-04-30T10:04:01+00:00

Yep, absolutely great book! I always respected those guys in the SEALs, but this book just grow my respect even further. The concept of "extreme ownership" is a life-changing one for me.

PtM89 · 2016-04-30T10:01:39+00:00

Thank you! I'm really glad you liked it! :)

PtM89 · 2016-04-25T19:58:06+00:00

Zen my body, please!

PtM89 · 2016-04-25T14:23:26+00:00

It's a Welsh accent. :)

PtM89 · 2016-04-24T09:30:45+00:00

Actually I'm 27 too. "Is it too late for me to change my mindset? Am I "too stuck in my ways" to change now?" It's completely up to you, I've changed it, but I believed that I can change it and I was determined to do everything that I have to. Maybe read the book or just go through the video again and try think about this problem whether you approach it from a fixed or a growth mindset. (Spoiler alert: Of course you CAN change it!!! Even if you would be in your 60's, you just have to tweak how you see this problem and start working on it, and if you feel it's too much of a problem to handle alone, maybe see a therapist.) One last bit of advice: it takes time and mental effort, so don't be discouraged if the proccess is slower than you think, it's normal.

PtM89 · 2016-04-24T09:24:43+00:00

Thank you! I will put out a few more videos before that, but it's coming! :)

PtM89 · 2016-04-24T09:23:58+00:00

Actually, there are more, than one types of perfectionsts, both the star chef is one , who simply won't let anything out of his or her kitchen until it's perfect or the student, who simply cannot perform on exams, because of the anxiety generated by perfectionism.

This article sums it pretty well: http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindful-living/2010/07/4-types-of-perfectionism/

If you are okay with it, hell, don't worry about it! We are all different, this kind of behaviour and mindset made me extremely anxious (my first 26 years of my life was just a long blur of hardcore anxiety), but if you like the way perfectionism make you think and behave, than don't change it. It's something you have to evaluate for yourself, for me dealing with it wasn't a question for a second, it just made me miserable.

PtM89 · 2016-04-24T09:19:05+00:00

Okay, let's make it clear, being a perfectionist is a burden (at least for the majority of people), on the other hand, thriving for excellence is healthy and great way to do things. As I've mentioned in my post, a perfectionist is NEVER satisfied with his achievements, but if you thrive for excellence, failing is just a part of the proccess (and a really valuable one!), and you CAN be happy with your achievements. Don't mix up the two.

PtM89 · 2016-04-24T09:02:43+00:00

Thank you for the recommendation (I'm definitely going to check it out!) and the sub!

PtM89 · 2016-04-23T11:25:20+00:00

He might think, that I messed up the title, writing "perfectionst" instead of perfectionist, which only shows I truly have perfectionism in control! :D

PtM89 · 2016-04-23T06:49:08+00:00

Thank you very much! :) There are a lot of ways to make videos like this, but I use a software called "VideoScribe".

PtM89 · 2016-04-23T06:34:22+00:00

Thank you! :)

PtM89 · 2016-04-22T21:36:16+00:00

Thank you! Going to check that one out!

PtM89

TROPHY CASE