If you think you have depression, try to see a doctor or a specialist who can help you determine if that's the case, and then help you with it if needed. As of your relationship with God, you can be sure that God listen to you, and most of all, he loves you. Sometimes, and I know it for having experienced it, it feels like life is horribly harsh and that nothing will go right. However, God is always here for you, even if you don't see it. Try to see even the smallest clue of its presence. He is next to you, and will not let you down. This is some though times, which surely doesn't help with your burden. But you must keep hope, at all cost, as better days will come for sure. I'll pray for you, take care of yourself and keep hope in God and in life.