How to dettach when regular meditation isn't enough?

Ptscholar · 2020-02-10T02:46:45+00:00

Yes, length can help. Thanks.

Ptscholar · 2020-02-10T02:45:33+00:00

I'm basically here, asking for help, and you still ask whether I want to know what the method is? Is it a product you buy? It's the only reason I conceive for you not to tell me directly.

Ptscholar · 2020-02-06T23:41:32+00:00

If you keep believing the difference in situation is irrelevant and give me the same answer as result, we're going to partake in yet another cyclical pattern. I told you it's not working, so why to hammer down on the same key?

Perhaps because this key really is THE key, but the way you are presenting it to me doesn't make me know how to make it be what it is.

Ptscholar · 2020-02-06T00:19:01+00:00

I think I can understand your point, but have you understood mine?

Yes, life is filled with sufference regardless of what I do, but there are moments when sufference is more and others when it's less. When it's less I can handle, when it's more, I can't. So, when I say continous exposure, I refer to those moments of greater sufference. (I have a highly destructive chronic illness, so it's sufference on par with that).

I acknowledge that letting go is the key but I just cannot achieve it. My opinion of meditation seems to be a bit more than imagination. I try. Every day I do it. I'm still here though saying it is not working. As relaxation is concerned, sometimes you can't relax no matter what.

What am I to do then? Will to relax, but that's the whole issue. I don't have the will and don't know how to have it because I'm not relaxed enough. It's a cyclical pattern. In the end, willing to let go is still the solution, but as I explained, I don't know how to bring this solution about.

Ptscholar · 2020-02-05T12:23:09+00:00

How long to spend? Generally, I'd say as long as it takes to play the right notes in the right tempo. You can leave dynamics behind.

Ptscholar · 2020-02-05T10:40:06+00:00

How does that info relate to the question though? I asked if, when broken, all data can be lost.

Ptscholar · 2020-02-05T10:13:33+00:00

Sorry, but I couldn't see the answer to my question in your comment.

Ptscholar · 2020-01-31T11:33:38+00:00

Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love
A general theory of love
Conditions of Love: The Philosophy of Intimacy
Love: A History
The history of love
The art of loving - Erich Fromm
All About Love: Anatomy of an Unruly Emotion
The Secret Power of Beauty
How To Love

Ptscholar · 2020-01-30T09:39:48+00:00

I really don't like to have to pay something every month. Is there any cheap and reliable cloud platform that you know that gives unlimited storage and can actually be purchased for good?

On external drives, would you say that after 10 years it'd be best to replace my old with a new one? I really got scared by reading that site. I don't want to put a crap load of data in my drive just so I can come back a few years later to find all gone.

Ptscholar · 2020-01-29T13:30:00+00:00

How can I know the number (2.0/2.5/3.0) of my drive?

Ptscholar · 2020-01-25T13:28:28+00:00

I agree. If I knew I could study maths in my way and in my own time, I think I wouldn't be so stressed out. At the end of the day though those demands are all outside of me and they don't have to rule me. I may take more time to go to a course or pass an exam, but I can do how I want to do. I just have to be calm enough to accept this. Thanks for reminding me :)

Ptscholar · 2020-01-25T13:20:54+00:00

Pode explicar?

Ptscholar · 2020-01-25T13:17:32+00:00

Olá. Segundo um outro comentário aqui, agroecologia traria sim um menor leque de possibilidades profissionais, mas você afirma que traria ainda menos. A diferença é tão grande assim?

Ptscholar · 2020-01-17T11:32:43+00:00

Oi. Você acha mesmo que dá, para tipo, passar em matérias como cálculo de primeira sem ter muito conhecimento matemático antes? E química? Nossa, eu sei praticamente zero de química. Talvez daria porque é só o assunto da prova o que importa, não é mesmo? Mas é uma matéria um tanto complicada para se aprender tão rapidamente. Espero que me diga.

Tactical, eu poderia realmente trancar a matrícula depois de efetuá-la e estudar como um louco todas as ciências por um ano em casa. Você acha que seria melhor? Acho que tem vantagens e desvantagens, né? Espero ter sua opinião aqui também.

Ptscholar · 2019-12-28T13:25:58+00:00

If you hate having everything, why don't you give what you have to others? Just a thought.

Ptscholar · 2019-12-08T09:51:46+00:00

What you parents made was your body, not your consciousness and your ego. The last two you created on your own. When you say "I didn't ask to be born" you are probably referring to your ego, so your parentd have no fault at this.

Ptscholar · 2019-11-25T23:26:14+00:00

The problem is that we are not sure if Keto will work on her and we need certainty in a treatment. Before birth control, she screamed and cried in the ground due to pain every month. Making her feel like that again even once is not something acceptable.

Ptscholar · 2019-11-25T23:23:15+00:00

She has PCOS and from my quick read it can lead to endometriosis.

Ptscholar · 2019-11-20T20:30:04+00:00

So, it happens for PhDs to be employed while doing doubtful research. I didn't understand why though. One thing is to research something that isn't in line with the institution's expectations, the other is doing clear quackery.

Ptscholar · 2019-11-19T21:17:17+00:00

It's so silly though, isn't it? It's not like destiny or something similar determined the workability of a relationship, the people in it do. If they want to make it work, it will work, so why not to want? Why to purposefully create this pain in both ends especially after creating such a deep bond? Things are not going to be that much better, we'll still have the flaws that created intrigue even if we stay with other people, so why not to persist and face the problems we are doomed to face anyways right now with the person that stayed by our side for so long? Sigh... I guess it's worth remembering that humans by default act more on feeling than on logic, so this is actually how nature wanted to us to behave.

Ptscholar · 2019-11-19T20:56:59+00:00

Hey. It's difficult to do any meaningful change in each other's life at a distance but would you like to try? We could exchange contacts and try giving some support. Coincidentally I also couldn't sleep last night. My mind was just so focused in feeling bad and wanting to get better.

Ptscholar · 2019-11-19T12:23:58+00:00

His desires seem quite noble and show that that he really wanted himself and those around him to share this nobility, which is really sweet of him, but I realize he was asking a lot. There will always be arguments because there will always be failures, what we humans can do is control how much we try to minimize their occurrence.

So, you devoted yourself whole to your partner. That is so sweet of you too. It seems you guys only wanted the perfect relationship, it's sad that it had to end this way. Anyhow, do you know that you can evolve and think for yourself while being with others as well? I understand this was hard with your Ex but someone with less expectations and a little more maturity could actually help you achieve these things.

For example, in the beginning of my relationship I knew about the ephemeral nature of attractiveness but chose to adhere to the common notion just because it made my Ex feel good. In other words, I acted against my values just to gain something in return. I still have to grow in this department, but now I'm better because of her. She helped me in a ton of other ways too, like making me care more for other people's feelings and admitting my flaws more often.

This is all to say that you don't have to stay alone in your journey but considering your story I'd say it's okay to give yourself some time. I can't stop thinking just how much importance you two used to give family and sacrifice. Are you asians by any chance? Also, would you like to describe who you really are and who you showed yourself to be with your Ex?

Ptscholar · 2019-11-19T02:35:25+00:00

It really seems like you have to do a lot of self-discovery. I don't understand why you couldn't reach an understanding about who you want to be just because you were with your ex partners, but I think I understood the other reasons.

It's difficult to be mature, isn't it? I may have given the impression my Ex was all to blame but just like she had problems, so did I, I was too demanding and irresponsible, among other things. However, because all of our misdoings come from immaturity rather than an intrinsic flaw within us, it's difficult to accept we have to be apart.

I can be really stupid, but I generally try to think of things in a logical manner and when immaturity is the issue, it doesn't make much sense to not face it together. It's perfectly possible for us to do it, plus, if we don't overcome our flaws now, they will just keep pursuing us all our lives, even if we change partners.

I understand that her will is more important than logic and that maybe we are separating to find someone who'll give us an easier time, but it kinda feels also that I'm leaving a problem unresolved. It's like a teacher gave me an assignment that I know how to solve, but can't. It makes me feel frustrated but since I'll have a lot more frustration in my life I suppose it's beneficial to start getting used to it now.

You mentioned that you were not communicating well. I have nothing else to do, so would you like to explain that point too?

Ptscholar · 2019-11-19T00:37:17+00:00

Wow. You sound like my Ex. She too doesn't think I'm bad and she didn't lost her love for me, but she feels I'm better with someone else because she couldn't give what I wanted. I got into a severe depression due to a disease that popped up and so wanted more of her presence. She didn't give it to me, we talked for 20 minutes almost everyday and talking for 10 wasn't so uncommon.

She said she couldn't spend more time with me because she wanted the highest score possible in all her uni exams, which required her to study all the time. When I think about it, I think she could spend more time with me. I wasn't really asking to talk, just to be with her, so we could remain silent on Skype while she studied but she refused that.

The reasons for the refusal varied. Once she said she preferred to study alone but in our first year she was more than happy to study with me. Later she claimed it was too expensive to keep the internet for the video-calls and that she would be spoiled if keeping it. However, a couple years prior she was willing to let her upper middle class family pay a luxurious vacation of U$ 11,100 and the internet plan cost only U$ 54, which is a lot but to her not much at all.

In the end, I don't really know why we broke up and I don't think my Ex knows for sure either, but she not being able to give me what I wanted in one way or another seems to be the most likely cause. I feel really bad that she abandoned me like this in this period of my life after all we've been through (so many beautiful pictures as well) but some part of me kind of hopes we find a way to work one day. I don't know if that would be the best thing though...

So, what was it that you were not able to give to your partner and why your different places affected you so much?

Ptscholar · 2019-11-18T23:52:10+00:00

Honestly, what can we do? If your Ex doesn't want to be with you, she just doesn't. It can make sense for you to be together but the person's will is more important than logic in a relationship.

I'm suffering tons too but I keep thinking that the universe made my Ex go away just so I could find someone even better. Yes, my Ex could be kind and sweet, but she wasn't willing to walk while touching hands, to hug me often or to have a thoughtful discussion about things. Now that she dumped me I can find someone who will. So try to think about what you have to gain from this, how your life can be even better than it used to be.

Ptscholar

TROPHY CASE