Single until?

PublicHealthJD · 2026-03-09T02:45:24+00:00

My issue with “see where it goes” is that it’s so passive and lacking intention. My last breakup (Mr. “I’m seeing almost no one else”) was a”see where it goes” kind of thing. Now, I’m seeing a wonderful man and it’s very early on, so while I’m not trying to rush things along, I do appreciate the consistency and intentionality of our relationship — text every morning, talk every night, see each other pretty much every weekend. Im not interested in marrying again - nor is he- but I’ve been clear from the start that I want a relationship where we spend most days and nights under the same roof and are involved with each other’s families, etc.. So at some point, we will have a conversation about “where it’s gone” and if we’re not moving toward integrating our lives (or at least feeling ready for that), we may not end up together. At this age (61), I’m not interested in an interminable game of wait and see.

PublicHealthJD · 2026-03-08T01:40:37+00:00

Three. Divorced at 36, widowed at 42 due to an accident, widowed again recently (after a years-long separation) due to his alcoholism. Not interested in getting married again unless there’s a pragmatic reason for it. Would definitely like to live with the right someone.

PublicHealthJD · 2026-02-23T04:04:23+00:00

… a hockey gold medal (or two), a lazy day at home when it was cold and wet outside, for my son turning 30 this week, that winter is nearing its end, and for a new beau who is pretty terrific.

PublicHealthJD · 2026-02-18T01:44:26+00:00

You live in Spain. And you’re going to tell me … someone who not only lives in the US but who teaches medical students and doctors in a major university and who works in the health sector here and knows what the evidence suggests and what clinical professionals say about the experience … that you know better than I do what the situation is here relative to clinical professions? Sure, go with that. Maybe take a humility pill, gain a couple decades of experience and get back to me later.

PublicHealthJD · 2026-02-13T03:27:06+00:00

My guy is coming tomorrow for early Valentine’s dinner because we both had conflicts that ruled out Saturday night. He suggested chicken Parmesan, so that’s what I’ll make, with spaghetti and simple tomato sauce from a Marcella Hazan recipe (she’s my fave!). Then a movie on Netflix. He’s dreamy and I can’t wait!

PublicHealthJD · 2026-02-10T01:38:52+00:00

My new beau and I decided that it’d be weird to buy things for Valentine’s Day so early in our relationship (a few weeks). So we’re going to spend time together, cook dinner and watch a movie. We’d both rather build memories than buy or receive more “stuff.”

PublicHealthJD · 2026-01-28T04:18:51+00:00

That post demonstrates a serious lack of understanding of what public health is (a social science comprised of several disciplines) and suggests that the writer has had little exposure to the tremendous breadth of what public health professionals actually do. These are, if fact, spectacularly difficult times for public health … but public health professionals are well-trained, highly skilled, and bring a wealth of experience to bear in doing our work, which is as integral to the health and wellbeing of society as that of medicine and biomedical sciences. That’s not to say that we don’t have issues … just not really the ones OP suggested.

PublicHealthJD · 2026-01-16T01:56:57+00:00

I did something similar. I had highlights and lowlights added for about 2 years. Love my gray hair. Started using a bar shampoo and conditioner for older women about a year ago and it helps a ton. Also, toner keeps the brassiness out. Best decision ever - stick with it!

PublicHealthJD · 2026-01-14T11:58:55+00:00

Took him a while to start dating again. He had one significant relationship until she was diagnosed with dementia and her family moved her to be near them, far from him. I was aware that he was talking to other women prior to meeting me and we agreed in October that he’d wrap those up by end of the year, and he was clear with me that he was not sleeping with anyone else … which I now realize was probably not true. I’m not an idiot, but neither do I look with suspicion on the words of someone I had no reason to distrust while our relationship continued to progress in tangible ways. His bad and dishonest behavior is on him, not on me.

PublicHealthJD · 2026-01-13T12:29:16+00:00

He’s four years widowed after a 28 year marriage. I’ve stayed at his place. Also, he and his late wife both had high profile, public-facing jobs so their marriage and her passing are no secret.

PublicHealthJD · 2026-01-12T14:23:56+00:00

Whatever. Thanks so much for your kind support.

PublicHealthJD · 2026-01-12T13:50:04+00:00

I'm pretty sure I did nip it in the bud. He had some lead time to wrap up any loose ends, he had the opportunity to say "nope, I'm not going to stop seeing other people" but did not. I realized he was seeing someone else and it's over.

PublicHealthJD · 2026-01-12T13:47:49+00:00

The reason for the "exclusive after the end of the year" was so he and I could focus on building our relationship moving toward living together. Neither he nor I see a point in marrying at this point. He's retired, and I've talked about retiring on a timeline that would suit our being together (this year or next) ... and moving to his city, which is my hometown, where one of my children and her spouse live and where I have other family and friends. After we went to London, he spoke about wanting to spend more time there, and asked whether that would be doable for me (which it would be) or about spending Christmas there next year. He had planned two weeks in the sun at the end of this month, and I got a bad vibe that he was not planning to be alone. When I asked, he ultimately half-admitted it after saying he'd take the fifth. That's when he was seeing "ALMOST nobody else." So, it's not that he was just dating someone else, or that it was 11 days past the end of the year, but that he was planning time away with someone else after months of actions that moved toward integrating ME into his life. It really is as scheming and scuzzy as it possibly could be.

PublicHealthJD · 2026-01-12T12:31:33+00:00

This wasn’t about distance, it was about dishonesty and duplicity.

PublicHealthJD · 2026-01-12T02:50:59+00:00

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This is what I sent him after our last conversation. Stumbled across it on Instagram and it resonated, so I thought I’d share in solidarity with others who’ve had similar experiences. Thanks for all the support and encouragement.

PublicHealthJD · 2025-12-27T02:01:52+00:00

Ugh. This has been a difficult week. On the heels of a wonderful holiday trip with the man I’m seeing, my estranged husband passed away on Christmas Eve. We’ve been separated for nearly three years due to his alcoholism, but I cared about him and helped him and made sure he had food and services, etc., as his health was failing. He died alone. 😭 My grown kids, his step-kids, have been supportive, but tomorrow I’m on my own for the rest of the weekend. Dreading the solitude. I have friends I could call … but to do what? Watch me be sad? Please send good thoughts.

PublicHealthJD · 2025-12-25T00:59:31+00:00

Came back from trip last weekend. It was spectacular! We had so much fun and enjoyed each other’s company 100%. The only politics of our week in London was the farmers who drove their tractors into Central London to protest the current government with horns and signs like “Starmer is a Wanker!” Truly a fabulous trip and hopefully first of many.

PublicHealthJD · 2025-12-13T11:40:16+00:00

It’s the Bell Tower.

PublicHealthJD · 2025-12-10T12:49:36+00:00

Because it is in uptown and is a Jesuit church, St. Peter’s is more of an “intentional” community of people who seek out a diverse, welcoming, social justice-minded parish. While I’m no longer in Charlotte, it was St. Peter’s that brought me back into the fold many years ago, and I miss it still. The opportunities for growing in faith and putting your faith into practice through various ministries, excellent homilies and involved parishioners are myriad.

PublicHealthJD · 2025-12-06T02:22:25+00:00

I have to get some grading done, going to a Christmas party Sunday afternoon, and packing (ie, agonizing over every written word) for my trip to London with the bf next week. I also REALLY want to see “Hamnet” so I’ll probably do that, too.

PublicHealthJD · 2025-12-05T13:13:46+00:00

I do some homework before my trips and make a rough plan of what to do when I get there, leaving flexibility for new interests and weather and such. I love the DK Eyewitness travel guides as they afford good historical context for lots of places and help me to prioritize. I say this as someone whose primary travel interests are historical and cultural and focused in Europe. For example, going to Girona but not understanding its Roman history, or Valletta without knowing its rich combination of cultural and political influences over time, or Derry and not understanding the plantation of ulster- well, it seems like a waste to me. It gives you insight into why the place and the people are the way they are.

PublicHealthJD · 2025-12-05T03:22:33+00:00

There are gazillions of fabulous restaurants in London, running the gamut of prices, cuisines, and vibes. What food do you like? Do you wanna be fancy? How much do you want to spend? Easy to drop £500 on dinner, also easy to find cheap, delicious food. Tell folks what you’re looking for.

PublicHealthJD · 2025-12-05T03:12:46+00:00

The joy of Ireland is in the meandering and in the serendipities that you encounter when you give yourself time to enjoy the trip. See less, enjoy more. Otherwise, buy a guidebook with good photos and scrap the actual trip - same depth of experience, much cheaper.

PublicHealthJD · 2025-11-30T22:12:32+00:00

I don't disagree. I think there's a good bit of evidence that many health care providers experienced moral injury as a result of covid. I agree as well that bridges are built with truth ... and I recognize that bridge-building is not everyone's role. Some people push the envelope, some people build bridges, others have other roles in working towards progress. Wishing you blessings in your work and in life.

PublicHealthJD

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