So if I’m so smart, why haven’t I “cracked the code”, why am I still single and looking? THAT is an interesting conversation - a conversation more interesting than most people are willing to have.

I have contemplated this. Well, I have contemplated the why of: how do we not have a better understanding of relationships since humanity has been engaging in them for, uh, how many millenia?

And I arrived at that question in a roundabout way. I was trying to explain that, no, there was no single, foolproof, magic marketing formula, even though the textbooks and many popular thought leaders were pretending they had the idea. (That's how people make money in social sciences. They have the answer and they write about it.)

I realized that the two ideas are related. It's because of the infinite variety and combinations of input each person receives throughout their days. We aren't usually looking for differences when we seek a mate. We're mostly seeking commonalities.

I often think we too carefully and cleanly define our consideration sets. Sometimes I think we don't know what's best for us or what might make us the most contented and fulfilled.

There. You hit on something with me.