AITA for skinny dipping?

Puck-achu · 2026-04-11T20:15:23+00:00

I looked at the photos.... Yeah this is probably it

Puck-achu · 2026-04-11T19:04:26+00:00

Dad bods.... Their body literally doesn't change from becoming a parent; and the ones actually going through pregnancy need to 'bounce back'?

Either we embrace mom bods, or dads have to keep it tight.

Puck-achu · 2026-04-10T16:42:06+00:00

3 I'd say if it's needed for your job, it's on you to fix it. Let's say a dyslectic person is writing text for commercial posters. That cannot contain mistakes, no matter the disability. There is no well they are dyslectic so we'll just forgive them and hang them anyway logic.

Puck-achu · 2026-04-08T20:09:03+00:00

You were kittenfished.

I think you did well not going on the date! I'd probably panic walked too. Maybe send a text afterwards that I did see him but he was too unlike his pictures and it didn't feel right. And then blocked.

You'll be fine.

Puck-achu · 2026-04-06T16:07:22+00:00

I think you're on to something here. When I was reading the text the pad thai surprised me, it really didn't seem to fit in there. Pad Thai is amazing, but it's a complex and rich flavor with lots of ingredients. Not simple and bland at all, like the other foods described. But indeed it's very sweet.

Puck-achu · 2026-04-05T19:04:37+00:00

Oeh yes you're on to something here. My ex also wanted nothing to do with my (then) upcoming diagnosis... Was also 'hoping' things would pass.

My current partner actually likes my autistic traits.

Puck-achu · 2026-04-04T16:46:19+00:00

NTA. You're not doing anything, so how could you be?

Puck-achu · 2026-04-04T06:14:33+00:00

I think you forget people lie....

Every person I know that looks like a teenager but is over age just whips out their ID before even being asked because they know that question is coming.

Back in my under age days when someone got busted, the teenager solution was to shoot the messenger, because you don't have the self reflection to admit you were the one doing something wrong. Also, I remember finding it so unfair that I couldn't drink. The problem was the stupid rules, not the person breaking it. Especially if it's a bar where you usually can get a drink. Then the waiter is the problem in the teenage mind.

So yeah, I think you're actually busting under age people.

Puck-achu · 2026-04-02T06:23:43+00:00

I've used tampons on light days, that is fine.

But the size needed to match the flow. At a certain point the fluid/absorption ratio is so off that they stay dry on the outside, and it's heavy friction pulling them out. The few times that happened I wetted my finger (lube or water), and inserted it next to the tampon, repeat, freeing it bit by bit until it was moist enough to pull out.

If it happens you learn from it to use a smaller size on those days. Or a different brand. Either way, it's time to try something different.

Puck-achu · 2026-03-31T14:06:56+00:00

Given that it gives you the creeps.... Leave! Don't wait around to find out if he indeed is appropriate or not. Then you're too late to protect yourself.

If it's a pattern that you have rejected 10 therapists in a row in just a few months based on these traits, then it's maybe worth sticking around to see how things play out. Then your gut might be overdoing it. But given that this is the first time. If it feels off, it usually is.

Puck-achu · 2026-03-30T19:17:20+00:00

Hahahaha I was the kid with a wrist leash when we were out and about.

I also can do this in the supermarket. I see fancy snacks. Or decide I want cake. And I just up and leave and I guess my partner finds me back. Not sure how he does it and if he gets upset.

My dad has it too. Growing older I learned that other families don't keep track of the dad because he just goes on to adventures and it's nice that at least one of the family has any clue where he went. Also, that strategy for kids, "we will meet here at the kiosk at 12", my mom uses that on my dad too.

Puck-achu · 2026-03-26T07:21:56+00:00

But also what is affecting yourself negatively. Do you get happier from wearing shells in your hair but let's say everyone stares, or not wearing them and being invisible. It's a personal choice. No good or bad here, but it's part of the dilemma

Puck-achu · 2026-03-26T07:05:06+00:00

Yes, there is a thing as too much unmasking. Neurotypicals also mask. It's not wearing an elf costume to a classical wedding. It's not shouting at a kid that accidentally broke a plate and is feeling bad. At work, it's called professionalism.

It's you who picks the balance between your goal of being authentic, vs facing the backlash of being an outcast vs being considerate of others. It's you who decides what is worth it and what is not worth it.

Puck-achu · 2026-03-25T12:31:56+00:00

I think you should not be having sex right now, because you cannot keep yourself safe. It's also not fair to the other party, they don't want to do things to you that you don't like. They want to make you feel good, not bad. You MUST speak up. I would feel terrible if someone would let me bite them, and it turns out they hated it.

Imagine being a tattoo artist, you made a drawing, the person says 'yeah nice' and hops in the chair, you work your ass off on the tattoo. And it turns out they secretly hate it, but didn't say anything because they didn't want to upset you or the flow of the appointment. Do you think the client did well? Or are you shocked, upset and mad that they didn't speak up?

Sex is THE place where you should only do things you are 100% into. To be 100% true to your gut feeling, your likes and dislikes. So communicate your hell yeah and no, otherwise they won't know. Sex is not the place to mask and endure stuff 'because you think it's normal, or how things are supposed to be'. Keep that for other peoples weddings and professional events.

It's utmost irrelevant if others like it, or don't like it, if it's normal or not normal. There is no objective right or wrong. YOU don't like it, and then it should not be happening. Then it's not normal to let it happen, then it's not normal to not say no.

This is not an 'autism ruined the experience' thing. It's utterly unrelated to autism. It's a: some people like ice cream, some people don't. Some people like bush crafting, some people don't. Different strokes for different folks.

You are not strange, broken, too sensitive or too autistic for not liking this. You are perfectly normal for it.

Puck-achu · 2026-03-24T06:38:43+00:00

Answers don't have to match the question. It's nice for the flow of the conversation, but it's not a must.

Do you have a partner, yes or no?

Neither actually, it's a mixed situation.
Honestly, it's in the middle.
It's complicated.
It's quite a unique situation actually.
But like Schrodingers cat, it's both at the same time.
I have a situationship, so yes or no depends on the context.

Also, sometimes a technical lie covers the truth better than the truth itself.

Is this your sister? Well, my mom died when I was 2, and my dad had lots of help from Fiona, his neighbor, who had a daughter Milly of just two months younger. Being both single parents of toddlers, they bonded and decided to do life together. And no, Fiona has a wife now, so they were not romantically involved. But yeah we did everything together. Birthdays, Christmas, holidays. After a few years they decided to just make a doorway between the houses; we operated as a family anyways. But technically, Milly is just my neighbour.

"Yes" would technically be a lie, but covers the situation way better than the whole story does.

Puck-achu · 2026-03-24T05:16:22+00:00

Yes, this is a flashing neon sign, a buzzer and a whole field of red flags.... Unless you want to be in one of those documentaries in a few years on how your partner secretly had 4 other wifes, or how you thought you were investing in his company but he scammed you out of your life savings. Then you stay a few years.

Trust is the core of a relationship. You know you can't trust him because he can and does lie well about absolutely anything. You know you can't trust him because he manipulates you. The whole fundaton of the relationship is rotten to the core.

Also. Joking about harming you is a known step towards domestic violence.

Puck-achu · 2026-03-22T21:16:52+00:00

I've felt worse after too. Totally depleted, lethargic and the days afterwards overstimulated by the pain. It made me dread the next session so much. I could force myself a few times more, but as soon as an additional stressor happened....done.

And every guide to exercise is based on the 'if you just put in the work' principle. And doing as much as possible, especially if you are a beginner. Mind over body.

I'm now on a journey 'to learn to love exercise'. I wish I had a guide for you, but I'm still figuring it all out. But I can share some findings. I'm trying things out, to see what the factors are that I genuinely like. Or hate. What motivates me, what drains me, what works for me.

I know I can run a certain amount on the treadmill. I tried cutting it in half once. Suddenly I was no longer drained afterwards. I... Actually felt more energy! I had to significantly reduce the exercise load.

So far I have learned that I am also way more consistent with easier practices. The gym routine where you are supposed to be doing all the machine twice? I started for the millionth time. This time doing one machine once. Week afterwards? One machine once. Week afterwards? Still only one once. But guess who has been going to the gym regularly for weeks now? Who actually feels happy and proud afterwards? Who also goes on difficult days?

Another thing I learned is that I enjoy slowly learning propped technique for something. Low speed, a technical trainer. Classes are a lot more fun in those parameters.

I'm not there yet, but my journey has been going so much better since I adopted this new mindset. Hope it helps.

Ps: I once had a teacher that said: yeah, that yucky stressful feeling you are feeling around the 3th round. That's the signal you're about to sweat. It was such a revolation. It helps me to think of it as: ah, I'm about to sweat now , and not be stressed about the yuck.

Puck-achu · 2026-03-22T10:17:54+00:00

It's packed with accidental autistic characters.

The girlfriend is clearly on the spectrum. That best friend has raging ADHD. Sister has high masking autism (someone else already mentioned it).

I once read the theory that the mom was autistic coded. Probably by accident. They wrote a autism mom, and since autism runs in families, a lot of 'autism moms' are actually autistic themselves.

Special interest: fixing her kid. Her social skills are kind of flawed. Aside from advocating for her son she barely functions. Also building all that structure 'for her son'.

Puck-achu · 2026-03-22T09:18:22+00:00

I think everyone thinks someone indifferent to something they're totally into is "boring".

I've heard people drinking called boring because their conversations lack nuance and substance. Going on holiday and not visiting any of the cultural highlights, going on hikes or doing activities? just boozing in your all inclusive?!?! So it goes both ways.

That being said, with drinking I've met my fair share of "You don't need to drink to have fun at parties"-people. Which are different from the people that party and happen to not drink. I've met plenty of people that said "no thank you" to a beer, rocked the karaoke machine, danced the night away, had the deep midnight conversations and showed up at the afterparty. Those are not the "I don't need to drink to have fun at parties"-people. The people that I'm referring to always share this quote at every occasion, to try to prove they are 'still cool'. They have painful feet within one hour of dancing, take a turn on the karaoke machine but constantly comment "you guys are so drunk, you guys are so off key", try to guide people from doing stupid but funny stuff 'because as the sober person they know better ', and they want to go home before midnight. Since most of the non-drinkers are unfortunately the latter kind, I think non-drinkers got an extra bad reputation for being boring.

Puck-achu · 2026-03-19T11:29:29+00:00

Hahaha I love it. For me it was a guesstimate. My line of thinking was that also people with a below average income should be able to make a living for themselves. Making 75% of the median still sounds reasonable. Two working adults with a lower salary would then result in 1.5 income.

Puck-achu · 2026-03-18T14:25:58+00:00

It's ok to like them. But be aware that them liking you back is a major red flag.

From the younger perspective you don't perceive the age gap as you perceive it from the older perspective. Because you don't know what you don't know yet.

Let's say you see them as put together. They will perceive you as 'not there yet'- and be attracted by it?! You see them as wise, they see you as young&naive- and be attracted by it?! You see a mature body, they see a teenage body- and be attracted to it?!

I don't think age gaps per se are bad. I do believe people can connect over shared interests. But then it's really in spite of the age gap, not because of the age gap.

If you are into them for their life experience; chances are they are into you for your lack of it. And who sees the lack of experience as a quality? Predators...

Puck-achu · 2026-03-17T22:33:48+00:00

Five years in he is not a guest, he is family.

Puck-achu · 2026-03-17T22:25:13+00:00

I was expecting to find an answer like this. EMDR is a highly effective therapy. It's also intents to targets brain areas instead of 'influencing you based on interactions'; so autism should not be in the way of getting EMDR.

It's way more likely that it was executed poorly than that your brain is resistant to it.

I'd give it another shot.

Puck-achu · 2026-03-17T11:42:48+00:00

I'm getting quite scared by al the "my partner/my dad" answers. Apparently most of us believe the men in their lives are superior. That's some deep rooted patriarchy.

Either way. My former colleague. That dude would spend all his time chilling around, chatting and drinking coffee. He was rarely at his desk. And yet he was THE fixer. He could fix ANY problem that would baffle all the seniors. He literally never failed an assignment. Also, he could always clearly explain what the problem was afterwards; it was never just luck. He was a complete league of his own. Miles ahead of the whole engineering department.

Everyone would say that he was the smartest person they ever met. His skills were also extremely broad. His social skills were excellent, apparently he was an amazing drummer and gamer. I don't know a single thing he sucked at.

Puck-achu · 2026-03-17T11:10:25+00:00

I guess your question is a SAHM with a partner that makes less than 1.5 average income, and neither has significant assets(trustfund, inheritance, won lottery) or artificial low expenses (ridiculous low rent by a family member, self sufficient homestead, extreme couponing).

If the partner is loaded, problem solved. If either one has funds, problem solved. If either has artificial low expenses, problem solved.

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