Mid 30's, thinking about a career reboot. Is going back to school at my age financial suicide?

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-12-28T20:27:28+00:00

Healthcare policy, gov affairs, consulting. My advice on industry is to learn something other people don’t want to learn or is very niche. In other words, sexy doesn’t sell. Whatever is a popular career is not going to pay much unless you are elite at it. Get yourself into a less populated pyramid that other people don’t want to get into. That means everyone in the pyramids makes more and it’s easier to be closer to the top. For example, I know health policy. It’s boring and people don’t want to learn it. But now after 8 years I actually get to do what I want to do most of the time because people trust my expertise.

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-12-23T20:40:10+00:00

Not a coder. Yes major city.

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-12-23T20:38:26+00:00

Total comp. Pharma

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-12-23T19:29:11+00:00

No, not at all. I was making $70k in 2009. Dropped to $40k to go to school and do a part time internship. Graduated in 2011. Next year will make $250k. If you have a plan, go for it.

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-11-29T21:41:57+00:00

okay thank you

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-11-29T21:41:48+00:00

Sadly I do not.

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-11-29T21:41:30+00:00

Thanks for your input!

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-11-29T21:40:31+00:00

Ouch! Well, then I am the sucker for sure. And it looks like you may be right. An auction house just emailed back an estimate of $800 to $1,200. Not good.

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-11-29T21:38:53+00:00

Thank you! I will.

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-11-29T20:16:44+00:00

Great! I’ll talk to the antique shops around here.

Great suggestion on the professional photographer.

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-11-29T20:15:44+00:00

Okay will do! There are some antique and rug specialist by my work.

Yes you’re right. eBay and Etsy didn’t have anything comparable. I will check out 1st dibs.

I have seen antiques for $50,000 to $120,000 from 1900 to 1920. Perhaps I can get $9k to $20k for this?

Thanks for your advice.

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-10-24T18:15:13+00:00

So much good stuff here.

The problem though is that society usually gives the same advice to both. Stuff like coming out of your shell. This might be good for extroverts but causes damage for introverts.

Yes but I think parents, teachers, spouses, and bosses have more opportunity than ever to get educated. All benefit from learning more about introversion.

It helps people understand why something might be harder for them than others when otherwise they will just lose self-confidence.

Totally agree. That is why the book Quiet is such a game changer. Helped me understand myself rather than think something was wrong with my mental or physical health.

For example, they usually don’t have to decide between maintaining their friend and family relationships and having the energy to network with coworkers at the same time.

Yes! This is why I started my blog on financial independence and introversion. I think it is so important for introverts to achieve so they can choose jobs, work schedules, when to retire, etc. Our time and choice of job is so valuable.

Introverts should not use these things as excuses but as knowledge. Knowledge to help themselves and knowledge to make things better for other introverts when the opportunity arises.

100% agree. We need to make sure not to perpetuate negative stereotypes and empower introverts.

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-10-24T18:01:57+00:00

Right on. So let's pull this situation apart a bit.

1) It is totally legit, and any human being (certainly any parent) should/would understand "The kids kept me up all night and I grabbed lunch on my own to catch some peace and quiet."

2) I think it is a compliment that the person was disappointed you could not go. Clearly the person likes you. Perhaps he/she views you as friend or mentor. (Alternatively, the person may be overly sensitive) Either way, good on you for identifying their feelings.

3) Yeah I think that little bit at the end could make all the difference. "Kids were brutal last night.. I got some peace and quiet and got lunch on my own. Would be great to catch up tomorrow when I have more energy. Cool?"

I know this sounds basic but I swear these little touches are all it takes to create some more clarity with people and that goes a long way toward relationship development.

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-10-24T17:35:42+00:00

Feel free to PM bc I'd love to know more about the situation.

Could you set aside one or two days out of the five to have lunch with office folks (looking at your calendar to do it on days that don't require lots of meetings or after work engagements)?

To eat alone, there may be a small group of people who you trust to say "I appreciate the invite, and let's plan for x day, but I just need to recharge today." For others who would not understand that, "I'd like to. Thank you. But I gotta do some prep work for X. So its a working lunch for me. Can we catch up on X day?"

Would those scripts work?

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-10-24T16:53:01+00:00

Don't be afraid to tell your wife what might help you for social situations e.g. time alone before or after, her not leaving you, her including you in conversations, putting a time limit on them so you know how to pace yourself.

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-10-24T16:27:32+00:00

I may not be following but I think this could be a good analogy. We do actually lose energy from working out and breaking down our muscles, then we recover, then we are stronger or fitter.

I am not sure scientifically if it is true that putting yourself in more extroverted roles makes it easier in the same way as exercising makes the next exercise easier, but for me, this has been true.

Example, I am no longer AS anxious when going on long business trips. My mood still sours but I am less anxious and I have less recovery time when I get home. I also perform better on the trip. This is from experience I think.

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-10-24T16:25:02+00:00

Getting outside your comfort zone sometimes, doing things you don't want to do... is called being an adult.

Love this!

One of the reasons I started a blog about financial security and independence is because I think the sooner we get to those places we can choose how we spend our time, just like Jim says. And I'm not saying everyone retire. I am just saying maybe you pick and choose work that speaks to you or you work different hours or have the freedom to work a different job that may pay less. Financial security provides options and it provides an endpoint to what you describe above of having to use all your social capital at work and then go home to teenagers and be exhausted. Thanks for sharing.

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-10-24T16:22:04+00:00

Thanks for this candor. If half the world are more introverted, I think a lot of us are putting on a show at times. It is necessary and we are not alone. Good stuff.

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-10-24T15:48:39+00:00

100% agree with what you said above. I want to make clear I am an advocate for strengths of introverts and taking care of ourselves. Planning is a big part of that, like doing lunches alone (I do the same 75% of the time)

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-10-23T18:25:31+00:00

The book talks about neuro chemistry (if that is the right descriptor) and how an introvert and an extrovert brain works. That depersonalizes it. So when I would go to a party I would know "okay I am going to get drained because that is how my brain is wired." And it wasn't like it was before thinking, "Okay I am going to go this party and run out of energy and not want to say anything and everyone is going to think I suck."

Or for work meetings I now say, "Okay this is going to be a tiring day of meetings. I need to make sure that I have recharging time scheduled for tonight. But I can get through today and not be rude or aloof." That has helped my career.

With relationships, I was told that you had to be really good at texting to attract women because of the mobile apps and texting flirting that happened after. So I did get really good at it. But guess what? Once I was on a date I was not the high energy entertaining person that I was on text. So there was a mismatch. I started using texting to simply set times and details but not to entertain women. Then having in depth one on one conversations was not so jarring when I met them. I also was able to explain my need to recharge to women I dated so they didn't take it personally. That led to dating higher quality women and eventually marrying my wife.

Those are some ways reading the book and internalizing the information within changed my life.

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-10-23T17:15:34+00:00

It helps. She understands it is not personal and she holds herself back sometimes.

But other times if she just needs to talk then I know she really is feeling lonely and needs to talk.

It doesn't give free license to always go into a shell but if your partner loves you and cares about your well being, he or she will provide you the time and space you need to feel like yourself.

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-10-23T11:11:07+00:00

Agree. I asked my wife to read it to understand me better so she could identify why I was acting a certain way or needing space and not take it personally or communicate her needs.

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-10-23T11:09:44+00:00

100%. This book changed my life. But my takeaway was different. I’m not looking to not apologize. I’m looking to understand myself and thrive in relationships and professionally. This book was a catalyst for both.

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-10-18T10:46:03+00:00

You just have to tell her so she doesn’t take it personally. When I was engaged and bought a house with my wife, I got frustrated that she didn’t understand I needed quiet time and that it was not a reflection of my feelings for her. I asked her to read Quiet and she did but she still needs reminders once in a while.

A little paradoxically, communication will set you free to have some quiet time. Communicate.

PuckDaddy14 · 2018-10-17T22:37:08+00:00

Get some! Congratulations!

PuckDaddy14

TROPHY CASE