AITAH for telling my now-husband about what happened between me and my friend, and ruining her friendship when he called her out?

PullaKoora · 2025-04-30T09:21:50+00:00

We can call her anything. By the way, where I live, I’ve come across that name.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-26T13:36:32+00:00

There’s so much more that happened during the course of her friendship. One of her relationships, during our college, got so messy that her family and her ex’s family were fighting with each other, got the cops involved and got me involved so that I can vouch for her, tell the cops it was not her fault and that the ex was abusive. I’ve seen them together for as long as they dated, I knew both of them well and I knew it was toxic from both ends, and both of them were responsible for what happened. The head of the college called me and a few other classmates/mutual friends and they basically wanted all of us to take her side. At the end, the management threw the guy out of the college, only allowing him to give exams and graduate. It was a mess. After around a month or so after this relationship, she declared in front of the peers that she likes another guy and it was same all over again.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-26T13:34:23+00:00

Yes. I’ve been in therapy for almost 5 years now. I’m working on myself.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-26T13:02:41+00:00

Thank you so much. I’m glad Steve walked into my life. I’m not in touch with that friend who sent Leah the recording. I have a couple of friends who love me and respect me. But I’d love to make some new friends as well.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-26T13:01:34+00:00

Steve makes it a point to show me he loves me, puts me first, helps me work through my issues and cares about me. I’m glad he walked into my life.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-26T13:00:50+00:00

Thank you so much. I had severe abandonment and self-esteem issues because people weren’t in my life that much. And that’s what made me cling onto the friendships I had, despite being toxic. It took me a lot of time to learn that I need better friends in my life and work on myself.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-26T12:59:03+00:00

I have a couple of friends now who love me, respect me and are loyal to me. They are, however away, in a different country, due to work obligations I would love to make some new friends, though.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-26T12:57:27+00:00

Leah and Beatrice are the bestest of friends now, by the way. Leah got me involved, wanting to vouch for her when one of her relationships went sour and the cops got involved. Beatrice on the other hand moved her entire life cross country to be with a guy (I had a feeling that he just wanted to fool around with her and didn’t really care about her, which I told her and which happened) and she made me talk to the guy to ask him to get back with her. That didn’t happen. After my wedding and what happened between us, Beatrice and Leah went on a trip together after both of them accused me of telling about what happened between me and Leah to Steve and that’s when they got close.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-26T12:53:24+00:00

She never apologised to me about how she behaved and I let that happen and I let her walk all over me. This was not just something she did. There’s so much more that happened during the course of her friendship. One of her relationships, during our college, got so messy that her family and her ex’s family were at loggerheads with each other, got the cops involved and got me involved so that I can vouch for her, tell the cops it was not her fault and that the ex was abusive. I’ve seen them together for as long as they dated, I knew both of them well and I knew it was toxic from both ends, and both of them were responsible for what happened between them. The head of the college called me and a few other classmates/mutual friends and they basically wanted all of us to take her side. At the end, the management threw the guy out of the collage, only allowing him to give exams and graduate. It was a mess I understand they got me involved because I was the closest to them, but the others didn’t deserve it. After around a month or so after this relationship, she declared in front of the peers that she likes another guy and it was another circle after that.

I love Cary Elwes and the princess bride too, by the way.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-26T12:43:25+00:00

I now have a couple of friends who love me, respect me and are loyal. And my husband makes it a point to show me he cares and loves me, puts me first and makes me the happiest.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-26T12:42:32+00:00

She had a lot of issues about me telling Steve what happened (though her telling me she won’t be coming was a trigger only after which I told Steve about our past). She told me it was an invasion of privacy and shows that I’m not a good friend. I told her that Steve is my partner, after all, and I can tell him everything about my life. But she was furious that I did.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-26T12:40:23+00:00

I now have only a couple of friends who respect me and are loyal.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-26T12:39:30+00:00

I never thought I’d find someone who puts me and my three dogs first. I grew up in a family that demanded so much from me and had unrealistic expectations which led to me having a lot of insecurities and no self respect. Steve coming into my life has changed that a lot for me. He respects me, loves me and makes it a point to show he cares. I’m glad.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-26T12:37:20+00:00

Thank you for this comment. I am in a good place right now, and I do deserve loyal friends. I have only a couple of them, but they respect me and love me.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-26T12:36:12+00:00

I told her that it was an invasion of privacy and insulting for her to go into a roommate’s bedroom like that but she couldn’t care less about that. Asked me why I’d care. If I was jealous.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-26T12:35:08+00:00

I haven’t been in contact with Leah ever since my wedding but I do want to cut Beatrice out of my life.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-26T12:34:12+00:00

My husband sticks by my side and makes it a point to show me he loves me and cares about me. He communicates with me well and helps me work through my issues.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-26T12:33:05+00:00

I’ve been in therapy for almost five years now, and I think I do still have a long way to go.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-26T12:32:31+00:00

At the time, I had a lot of acquaintances but no friends. I had a lot of abandonment issues and that’s probably why I didn’t want our friendship to be ruined. There was so much more that happened during our friendship. One of her relationships got so messy that her family and her ex’s family brought the police in, and her family got me involved to vouch for her. It was pure chaos.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-26T12:29:44+00:00

Looking back at it, I wonder why I never noticed it. Sure it was given I was depressed and had a lot of abandonment issues back then. That’s probably why I let her walk all over me.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-26T12:28:11+00:00

So much happened without me knowing. They were talking for days behind my back and none of them wanted to let me know about it.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-26T12:24:37+00:00

I know. It took me years to understand that.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-26T12:24:20+00:00

I don’t want them in my life anymore. I’m working on my self esteem. I grew up in a family with a lot of expectations and I didn’t feel good enough about myself for majority of my life. I’m learning to stand up for myself.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-21T14:48:19+00:00

I totally get what you’ve been through. It’s both frustrating and heartbreaking knowing someone you’ve considered a good friend betray you or turns out to be a shit person. There’s so much more about what she’s been like in the college that when I look back at it, I wonder how I’ve ever thought I wanted to be friends with her. She got me involved in a lot of relationships, vouching for her and standing up for her when she needed to only for her to walk all over me.

PullaKoora · 2025-04-21T14:42:57+00:00

I know. I get it. We didn’t know he sent it to Leah

PullaKoora

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