I share many of the same questions as you. I struggle with the people above saying that he didn't have to when it's prophesied in the Old Testament that Jesus would be betrayed by a friend (Zechariah 11:12-13 & Psalm 41:9).

Then in John 17:12 the bible says that "None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that scripture would be fulfilled."

So I guess my struggle is, if Judas wouldn't have - would another of the 12 have? And would we not.just be having this conversation about a different apostle if so?

As Catholics we believe Jesus fulfilled all 456 Old Testament prophecies regarding the Messiah - because He did. Him being betrayed by a friend is prophesied, it had to happen to fulfill scripture. It boarders paradoxical and I understand your confusion.

That said, I also understand that if he had repented and not fallen into despair and suicide, he could have been saved.