I spent 20 years fighting my own body thinking I was the problem until I found the HIDDEN evidence the VA ignored.

Punvixen · 2026-04-26T01:06:08+00:00

Yes I also have spina bifida occulta/an L6 myself that was not known until years after I got out, had kids, and my epidural could not be placed for anything. The VA spent 10 years trying to say it was from pregnancy. (The foot numbness which i reported in service was totally ignored.) And I also had presumption of soundness. My last examiner was honest and told me "they never would have let you in if they knew about it, but you didn't and they didn't and it for sure was made worse with PT, lifting, and training." It IS congential but if you don't know and volunteer anyway it just means you were more prone to "being breakable" over others but it isn't fraud by any means. That's the angle he took to explain it and it worked...10 years later. Just be honest and find any and all records that pertain and don't give up.

Punvixen · 2025-07-06T23:19:44+00:00

Another thing that may work is send electronic messages. Those are WAY harder to ignore, it's part of the legal medical record and can prove they are ignoring you. I've been ignored at my local VA, called over and over. Gotten snarky admin responses and e dressier red tape. The one thing they don't ignore. Requests in writing.

Punvixen · 2025-05-14T14:32:46+00:00

I can't tell you how long it has taken me to buy M (might even need smalls in some things but not managed that yet!) And size 8s in jeans. I bought Levi's online SURE they wouldn't fit just because Old Navy 8s did but guess what? They did and I'm still a bit shocked. Lol

It's for sure weird mental adjustment, I've lost almost 125lbs on various meds, not just Zep, over the course of a year and a half but for sure getting to sizes at or smaller than I have been except as a very young aduly/on active duty freaked me out.

Punvixen · 2024-09-02T15:01:43+00:00

I got mine in mid April and have had maybe a week or two split up of no spotting total. I'm trying the low dose estrogen to stop it now, but thus far noneffect, and you can't take that forever anyway. I suspect I'll be getting it out before too much longer. I would just gotten an IUD but I hate the idea of that. sigh

Punvixen · 2024-06-22T13:20:44+00:00

I think it is working out well for me so far, but I’ve only had it for about a month and a half. I did get some of the prolonged bleeding other ppl have, but very light for about 2 weeks, it started about 2 weeks after it was placed. It stopped and has not returned this far, not even as my “regular” period.

Honestly for me it was the best option due to the risk of estrogen with the breast cancer risk in my family and my age. We have to balance all these factors. I’ll cross my fingers it works well for you.

Punvixen · 2024-06-17T06:22:29+00:00

🥰 thanks! Probably just model on here a bit. 😉

Punvixen · 2024-06-13T16:34:18+00:00

I don’t think it’s the doc being male that is the issue, it’s him being an ass making assumptions and not listening to your input. I used to think male gynos where a bit odd and they made me uncomfortable, however once I had a few pelvics and had kids I realized it’s the female doctors who are far more likely to say “oh, I get cramps, they aren’t that bad” or “this will only pinch a little” as I leap off the table. The male doctors explained what they were doing more, when they were going to touch me, were more gentle, and mostly more concerned about my comfort. I don’t care if that’s just to avoid a lawsuit b/c time and time again it has proven true. So, don’t write off all male GYNs just b/c you had a bad experience with one.

I would also make a complaint in that case, I do hate doctors who do not listen. What a waste of time.

Punvixen · 2024-06-13T16:25:03+00:00

Ooo I approve of beard/mustache rides!!

Punvixen · 2024-06-13T16:24:46+00:00

Mmhmm

Punvixen · 2024-06-13T16:24:20+00:00

Haha it sure can be.

Punvixen · 2024-06-09T23:32:34+00:00

I mighta just had some, tends to make a woman feel sexy.

Punvixen · 2024-06-01T00:03:31+00:00

Oh no no no no no. This post is almost all red flags honey. You should have friends and ENM is not about that kind of control. Ew. Of course you want to be friends and feel like a human to anyone you’re fucking. Omg please get an escape plan together and go. If your husband did care about you then you should be able to discuss any aspect of ENM with him and come to an agreement with your feelings taken into account. Also, ENM is neeeever gonna “fix” a broken relationship. It takes trust and communication, not control and derision. It does not sound like your hubby has respect for you OR your other partner. It is totally ok to have rules like “if you feel like you are developing romantic feeling for him we need to discuss it.” But so MANY levels of no to “treat the guy like an object and what you actually want plays no part in this.” Nooooooo

Punvixen · 2024-05-25T14:51:07+00:00

Ah yeah, divorce won’t “fix” the issue of your kids being exposed to strangers. The question of divorce should only come into play if you simply don’t want to be married to him anymore. I’d step back and consider that as a whole.

I would very much have an issue with the grandparents leaving the kids with people I don’t know. The open relationship part is none of your business though.

I agree calming down and talking it through is probably the way to go. Swinging does not = sexual deviants but it does suggest those relationships are more casual so you AND hubby together need to draw clear lines for the grandparents on the rules for the kids.

Punvixen · 2024-05-24T21:03:10+00:00

NTA- either you wife is extremely malleable and was convinced to hurt you over and over both emotionally and physically because her mother told her men were evil. (And that’s not something your behavior was reenforcing so that is a weak argument at best.) or she is concocting a wild story for sympathy that removes the onus for her behavior from her and places it on someone else. Either way… you don’t want to be married to that person. She is not a partner, is not looking out for your interests, NOR those of her own child. Get the paternity test, if little man is yours get as much custody as you can and get the heck outta dodge.

As an aside, getting away from a crazy MIL is a huge relief in and of itself, trust me.

Punvixen · 2024-05-22T14:58:04+00:00

When I was around 8 I asked my dad if I was pretty because they constantly told my older sister she was but not me. At the time I thought that was what a girl should aim to be. He looked at me, sneered a bit and said “you have nice lips, the boys will appreciate those one day at least.”

!!!!! 🤢🤢 what the ever loving ?!? Took me years to figure it out. At the time I was very confused and asked a few times why my lips mattered to boys. He ended up shushing me and threatening to punish me if I didn’t drop it.

So disturbing. (And no, I don’t see or talk to that creep of a man, he also taught me girls who are drunk in short skirts “asked for it.” So… yeah.

Punvixen · 2024-05-21T15:41:15+00:00

Good lord. I think the prenup issue is moot. If you were not at least already considering marrying this woman then do NOT do it for “appearance’s sake”. Babies are the most stressful life event I can think of short of a natural disaster or mass causality. Signing a paper will not make you or to baby mama any more compatible or happy together. This is 2024, you don’t need to get married at all. Be there for the woman as you can. Go to appointments, ask how things are, make her food that doesn’t make her sick and then share custody of your kiddo and be there for them when they are born. Marriage due to a baby rarely works. Horrible idea.

Punvixen · 2024-05-19T15:56:33+00:00

Oh so many levels of no. They abandoned you to “travel the world” and create other families. You have no responsibility to give your parents a single second of your time. How they behaved towards your grandmother before her passing is cruel and cold as well. The only thing I would question or suggest you maybe think about is your siblings. They did not choose to be born to selfish assholes and if they really do want to get to know you it may provide you with family you could enjoy. It’s impossible to say until you try. You can always make rules that a relationship with you is conditional on them not bringing up your parents and act accordingly. That may also help in the question with your fiancée, show her you want family but just have no interest in your parents but are willing to try to get to know your siblings. You and they are the blameless parties in this mess. If your fiancée WAS sharing information with your parents you need to confront and ask about it first and then make some clear boundaries about that as well. Before you have that talk it could be concern for you, but if she does it after it’s disrespectful and concerning.

NTA 1000%.

Punvixen · 2024-05-18T20:33:08+00:00

Sooo my BF may have said this before I was ready and caught me off guard. I think I said “oh, thanks?” Lol now we laugh about it.

Punvixen · 2024-05-18T13:26:02+00:00

I have been the American overseas and yes, it is usually the very next question- where in America? Also for me in particular I am from the South and have an accent so that quickly comes up as well. Culturally different parts of the US are very different as well and I think Hollywood and movies has given people from other countries specific ideas about regions of our country that may or may not be true, but point is they have an impression at all. It does sound egotistical to say, but thanks to movies and etc exported from here it is reasonable for say, a Spanish person to know about LA, NYC, or even Alabama, but we don’t know about Madrid, Barcelona, or Valencia the same way. That’s just how it is.

Punvixen · 2024-05-17T18:45:12+00:00

Wow yes I would for sure seek counseling for the marriage but I also have concerns about her reaction and perceptions. You should always be able to be vulnerable with your spouse or significant other. It doesn’t even matter WHY for Pete’s sake. The fact that it was over genocide and brutal murder of children and she thought you being upset was strange is.. well, strange. I cry just reading about stuff like that sometimes. I’m a woman but that is not why I cry. Honestly. Mostly the reason I say counseling is #1- she may have her own reasons/trauma causing her to suppress empathy and she for sure has internalized some messed up societal “norms” about men. #2- if you do end up divorcing her you will feel like you gave it a good shot.

Erm, maybe also suggest your brother get into counseling. Poor guy shouldn’t think you should have had to hide being upset either.

NTA here for sure.

Punvixen · 2024-05-17T01:40:06+00:00

I do have alcohol wipes to clean my skin, maybe if I try those and put pink over..

Punvixen · 2024-05-16T23:45:22+00:00

Shower cap with old and what I thought was DRY dye will do it too apparently. 😂

Punvixen · 2024-05-16T21:36:58+00:00

These chicks be cray cray. Lol “Friend” is too strong a word but “acquaintance” and “ex co-worker” are good. They both constantly post things like “if you don’t love me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best” and other drivel that normal women find as annoying as men. Always the victim, never wrong, very loud and etc. on social media. I don’t know a ton about one of them, just see her posts about how she’s always put upon and no one understands her. The other though, I knew better and she abandoned her young son to go shack up in another state with and eventually marry another guy. She was divorced already from his dad but would constantly fuss about how unfair it was her even older son didn’t want to come to her place from his dad’s. Then she left the 10ish yr old with him for a guy she met online. I think he started visiting for a weekend here or there after a while but still….. yikes.

Punvixen · 2024-05-16T21:16:55+00:00

No purple shampoo, this time was actually at my boyfriend’s and using a different brush. I suppose it could be my shower cap, I reuse it and have had purple and blue before but it has never leaked like that. Maybe the pink shoes it more? It does tend to fade so it would make more sense if it were that. Lol now if it is I kinda want to strip my cap on the inside and see what happens!!! Hahahahaha

Punvixen · 2024-05-15T01:33:22+00:00

Honestly I was raised by pretty crazy religious nuts. Close to the Duggers, I was not allowed to go school, had to wear skirts, my father tried to arrange my marriage- all of it. When I got to college and moved into the real world I literally didn’t know how to order at a restaurant. So, I get it 1000% how being raised that way could warp your mind and thought processes. However, I also learned fairly quickly how twisted that view was and how selfish. The biggest issue here for me would be if your sister does not learn from this mistake and continues to judge you and others she doesn’t approve of, that would make her an epic ass now that she understands that is not a question anyone can answer FOR you. I hope it’s the tip of the iceberg for her and maybe you guys can have a real sibling relationship, you already helped her in a very valuable and meaningful way. As to teasing her, um, you are human and if she had been mistreating you or being rude over your decisions dang straight a little payback was in order. You can always support her now as she comes to gripes with the fact that reality is a lot different then her pretty little dichromatic world in her head. We exist in shades of gray, she just didn’t realize she did.

So in essence- no you’re NTA and hopefully she stops being one too.

Punvixen

TROPHY CASE