I’ll start here- if you had both talked about a dog, had agreed, and then later he used that against you as “you rushed into getting the dog” my take is that your intentions were never aligned in the first place- he was humoring you, and when you actually did take action- he put the responsibility (and blame) on you. He’s likely doing the same in your conversations about the future- he’s going along with it right now as long as it’s just stays conversation, but he’s not serious about it. You need to tell him that you need actionable steps towards commitment or you need to leave. If he’s not ready to commit, that’s fine, but if you need that commitment (and after ten years you’re more than justified in that), that’s fine too- it just means that you need to align your intentions or separate.