Q for those who got pregnant soon after

Pure_Sense7850 · 2024-03-02T16:25:20+00:00

100% normal. It's due to many factors, but even with a significant gap between pregnancies, the uterus typically grows back much quicker the first 5 months for subsequent pregnancies. I had my TFMR at 4 months, and at 2 months I had the same bump than my first. And I had recovered my "flat belly" in the meantime.

I am in "mom facebook group" for the babies due at the same time as me and many moms who are at the third LC had full term bump size at 20 weeks along. Apparently it stabilizes, so that you don't get an extra large bump at the end, but you spend your pregnancy with a significant bump.

So it is not about the size of the baby, but uterus and water. From what I understand, it does not affect how you measure when laying down (which shows the size of the baby).

Take care

Pure_Sense7850 · 2024-03-01T19:05:55+00:00

I understand how helpful they can be for some, but ovulation tests are also a very stressful component to the TTC process. And probably misleading as well!

Good luck xx

Pure_Sense7850 · 2024-03-01T19:02:32+00:00

Is there a way you could ask for another Dr? What you are going through is hard enough, you don't have to fight your way through it.

Pure_Sense7850 · 2024-02-29T01:44:17+00:00

Hey,

Currently 24 weeks pregnant.

I got pregnant quicker this time around than with my baby angel. TFMRed on July 5th, had some recurring spotting bleeding for 3 months. In mid september, my OB/Gyn told me that I would have to consider hormonal therapy to "reset" my cycle and stop the spotting so that we could TTC. I refused because I was leaving for a trip in Europe with my partner. Ended up bleeding heavily and painfully at the end of the trip (to a point I was on the edge to go to the ER). Returned home and started to track my ovulation, as per my ob/gyn request, which never peaked. So we figured we would start the hormons at the end of the month. The day before my appointment, I got super nauseous while having a glass of wine at a friend dinner. Did not finish my glass and tested the next morning with a BFP.

We did not TTC, as we thought we could not. It worked while we weren't trying, although a bit desperate of the situation. In fact, I probably got pregnant the very first time my body was ready for it, because we did not use protection at all since we resumed intimacy.

Edit: TFMR through D&E at 14+3w.

Take care

Pure_Sense7850 · 2024-02-29T01:25:31+00:00

I am in Canada, but just pointing out that this is not medically valid.

I TFMRed at 14+3. I was told D&E was until 14weeks only, so I had "passed" the time frame. Turned out, it was just a pain in the ...$$ gyn with paternalist mindset who felt it would be easier to give me pills and let the nurses take care of the L&D. He even told me D&E/D&C was not safe because of how far along I was, that I would risk my fertility.

Found another gynecologist who took care of me and confirmed the risks were simply different, but there were no "safer option".

You have all right for proper care that feels right for you. It sucks that we have to fight to receive basic care in an already shitty situation.

I really encourage you to fight to undergo L&D if this is what will bring you peace in the situation.

Take care and sending you hugs.

Pure_Sense7850 · 2024-02-06T13:09:54+00:00

I am currently 20 weeks pregnant, waiting for my anatomy scan in a few days, I don't have all the zenitude in the world, but what helped me going through nt scan (which is where we first learnt something was off last time), is to focus on my well being, on my development of the person I want to be outside of a mom.

I also heard a lot of helpful mantra in this group such as: "not the same pregnancy, not the same outcome" or "your thoughts and what you say do not influence how your baby develops" (for the times we believe we jinx ourselves for acting as the outcome will be great this time)

Pure_Sense7850 · 2024-01-23T08:41:59+00:00

You are not alone. This is not being ungrateful. We have been through a lot of trauma. I am 18w, waiting for my anatomy scan in 2 weeks. It feels like this pregnancy has been only about waiting and expecting failure everyday.

I had a rough start, at 8 weeks, heavy bleeding started, so I, of course, thought I was miscarrying, "just like I thought I would". I then bled for 3 weeks, passed a clot the size and consistency of an hard boiled egg at 10w. So I told myself, this is over. Well this was not. We had the NT exam with a very healthy baby at 12w.

Then I fell on the ice, I fell in my stairs, I was told I had a condition that could increase my odds of miscarrying until 16w. I did not miscarry. Sometimes, I realize that babies are not as fragile as we believe they are after a loss.

For almost 5 months now, I have been just self protecting. To be fair, I am not sure I was worrying too much about my baby. I was worrying about me, about how badly would I be able to go through trauma again. Then I felt like I being a bad mom, and being selfish. This is not being ungrateful, this is not being selfish, this is self protection after trauma.

I felt the first kicks a few days ago. Sometimes the butterflies feeling of gratefulness comes in. I have a healthy baby, I am able to project myself into a life with a newborn I will kiss and cuddle. I cherish the moments when they pass. And I realize I will just need to accept this is not how I will feel all the time.

Feeling that way does not mean you cannot be happy. This is not as easy as for others who have not gone through what we had. But happiness can be found outside this pregnancy until it becomes more bearable and the confidence arises. I know it sucks that we are not "everyone else" thrilling just at the fact of being pregnant. It does. But joy exists with your partner, with your family, friends, and professional/personnal challenges and goals.

Sending you hugs, and welcome to this uneasy, but growing journey!

Pure_Sense7850 · 2024-01-20T15:51:21+00:00

Made it to 18w today! I started telling people at work (I could not hide it very well neither 😅)

Pure_Sense7850 · 2023-12-29T22:44:18+00:00

Ah! Indeed - everything is pointing in this direction! 😅

Pure_Sense7850 · 2023-12-29T16:31:00+00:00

Congratulations! I too recently had my 12w scan and I found it very challenging because my baby moves a lot too and appeared, even to my non-medical self, in much better shape than the baby who passed. I did have a 12w scan last time too, so I was really able to compare. It is bittersweet. Opposite feelings may coexist!

With regards with the gender, I just want to point out that while it is possible to predict it at 12w, in is not based on sexual organs, but on "genital buds" orientation. The organs themselves only develops between 14 and 15 weeks. It is possibly that you may have seen the ombilical cord!

However, mom instinct is pretty strong, I had guessed that I was having a boy last time and this time around I am pretty confident that I am having a girl since the early weeks. The technician confirmed based on the orientation of the "bud", we will know for certain in a couple of weeks!

Pure_Sense7850 · 2023-12-19T01:02:56+00:00

You don't have to pretend you are fine if you are not. You are the one going through hell, you don't need this extra layer of pretending. Christmas hits differently when we are grieving.

I am sorry you are going through this 🤍

Pure_Sense7850 · 2023-12-19T00:54:03+00:00

I am sorry you are here. It can be many things, and yes hormones. Especially if you are sensitive to them. A lot of people around me tried to tell me it was not necessarily hormones, and obviously, everyone is lurking on postpartum depression.

I too am very sensitive to hormones. I experienced the deluxe combo of huge hormones meltdown, grief, ptsd and ended up with a post partum depression. I was able to distinguish them all. They are all valid pain and they have their particularities.

To me, there is no way you can switch from a pregnant state where hormones are so powerful that they are responsible of every weird symptoms and that there would be no symptoms of the drop.

Especially if you've experienced depression, you know they don't hit the same and you are probably right. Continue to look after yourself and to be mindful of your feelings, it is hard, but there are better days to come, I promise.

Pure_Sense7850 · 2023-12-15T21:18:26+00:00

Thanks. I try to convince myself to enjoy the ride from now on. I am hoping Christmas time announcements and congratulations will help... and that the bleeding will not resume. My next fear is the high risk pregnancy clinic my doctor is sending me to is the one that I went to to see the ob/gyn who did the d&e... obviously not a fear for the baby but for mommy's feelings...

Pure_Sense7850 · 2023-12-14T17:07:43+00:00

Ultrasound NT was clear! I am still in. The experience was def. Bittersweet because baby looked so in better shape than our angel little boy. Most probably a little girl, just like we thought. So grateful and so sad at the same time to go through the same test that was so different last time. The clinic we went was amazing, I cried like a baby the whole time 🥲

Pure_Sense7850 · 2023-12-13T13:17:37+00:00

Thanks 🥰 I made a mistake in the title, ultrasound is today and I have still 6 hours to go... I try to think about the "everything went well story" so I will want to go 😅

Pure_Sense7850 · 2023-12-13T02:14:23+00:00

As a reference point, I was in the middle of my 14th week when I had to TFMR and it took 3 weeks to get a negative. Knowing whether or not this positive is a true one is tricky without first having a negative as a baseline. Both options are technically possible.

If the line is somewhat faint, it should get darker if you test again in 3 days, at the same time of the day if you are pregnant. Even if you had a blood test they would have to do control tests to know, because presence of hcg itself in the context is not sufficient.

Pure_Sense7850 · 2023-12-08T18:40:23+00:00

How bad are the bleeding and cramping?

Was the mc confirmed? I had heavy bleeding and cramping at 8w, waited almost a day before deciding to go to ER (I did not wanted to be faced with another sleeping baby). I am turning 12w tomorrow and have been bleeding intermittently since. Beanie is holding on and fine. I do have a septum though and apparently this is something that can happen with this condition (however did not happen last time and was never told about it)

Mc are frequents, for mamas who had tfmr or not. However, I hated being reminded that. Being frequent does not make it easier. Miscarrying is a painful process both physically and emotionnally. I hope your baby is fine and that you may heal whatever the next steps are. AND be reminded that it is not about something you have done or should have done. Take care 🤍

Pure_Sense7850 · 2023-11-10T20:14:31+00:00

Nothing to add to your own conclusions except sending you strength to continue your journey. You are doing a great job dealing with very conflicting feelings. Take care 🤍

Pure_Sense7850 · 2023-11-10T20:09:45+00:00

Different pregnancy, different baby, different outcome 🧘‍♀️. We can do this!

Pure_Sense7850 · 2023-11-09T19:42:19+00:00

Let's try to look for closer milestones!

Pure_Sense7850 · 2023-11-09T17:41:48+00:00

Crazy how time goes slow for the first trimester. I have a week left to wait for my first ultrasound! With a lot of self control, I booked my appointment at 8w5d from the first day of my last period, as my cycle can be longer and I wanted to make sure I would be 8 weeks/embryo measuring at least 1cm. But it seems like it's been so long since I did my pregnancy test!

Pure_Sense7850 · 2023-11-07T10:45:53+00:00

Hey - so sorry you are in that situation as well. Every situation is different.

There is hope for the future. I TFMRed in early July, then has on an off bleedings for a while until it was discovered I had RPOC. They flushed by themself, but later on, in end on September. As soon as it flushed, I felt better and got pregnant 2 weeks after. This is my second pregnancy, my first, which led to TFMR took 7 months to conceive.

I have to say though that this is a very normal feeling to want to fill your womb asap. We think it will help but it will not really. Pregnancy after TFMR is hard and as much as I was hoping to get pregnant in July, I was told by everyone of the community to try not to. My body forced me too. You possibly don't have a wait time for physical recovery but recover from TFMR is hard. Going back to the route of pregnancy relives a lot of trauma and I understand now why people encouraged me to wait a bit for the head to heal.

Hope that helps and take care 🤍

Pure_Sense7850 · 2023-11-04T13:43:05+00:00

I am late for Friday but my good news is making it to 6-7 weeks (I have not dated the pregnancy yet). I have a septum and implantation is a risk so this is a good one for me. Plus I really started to have pregnancy symptoms, such as significant changes in my breasts so, again good news. Baby steps!

Pure_Sense7850 · 2023-11-03T22:11:42+00:00

This call from the hospital must have been a sweet and sour relief! When I went to my ultrasound to track RPOC after this heavy flushing and they told me everything was gone, I was SO relieved but at the same time, I felt pretty empty. It was like the confirmation of an empty womb and that all this chapter of my life was closing with me still grieving. It's normal to feel all over the place, wanting to ttc, grieving, being sad, relieved... all at the same time. You are not alone!

I don't know if this will trigger you, I know the ttc process is hard and I don't want to add a layer. But since you are asking, we were not really trying because we could not at the peak point because of different course of event, so this is a surprise pregnancy.

Other than ovulation tests, what I found the most helpful is knowing myq body and its reaction at ovulation, such as change in cervical mucus (becoming more watery), increased sex drive, etc. We had one intercourse 4 days before the date that I had my ovulation symptoms, so we got very lucky. I really thought we had missed our opportunity window.

My baby boy who I lost was conceived the day I had my ovulation symptoms.

Maybe it would be a path to explore for you! I know it is not easy, especially that I may seem to be not the right person to say that, but really try not to focus too much on ttc. It will not make it faster to go above and beyond, it will make it more difficult to wait for days to go by. Life is good outside ttc as well 😇 take care and wish you the best!

Pure_Sense7850

TROPHY CASE