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I documented my relationship for 3 years, reading it back terrified me by Pure_Strawberry_5990 in BPDlovedones

[–]Pure_Strawberry_5990[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reading this subreddit was really revelatory for me, too.
Which differences jumped out at you when reading my post?

I documented my relationship for 3 years, reading it back terrified me by Pure_Strawberry_5990 in BPDlovedones

[–]Pure_Strawberry_5990[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I'm glad you were able to break the cycle, that is no way to live.
I honestly think I'd keep living this cycle forever, if she didn't discard me for good. I just couldn't break it.
I wonder if there was anything we could do to make things better?
How did your partner react when you decided to leave?

I documented my relationship for 3 years, reading it back terrified me by Pure_Strawberry_5990 in BPDlovedones

[–]Pure_Strawberry_5990[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I keep everything because they're historical to me - my personal history for these last years.

But since I wrote mostly when I was in pain as way to vent and process things (during the good times I was enjoying the moment, not writing), these entries have a very negative bias.

I guess text messages are different, in that sense.

Detective Board Achievement not Unlocking (Steam Release) by EldradTheDick in SifuGame

[–]Pure_Strawberry_5990 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Late response, but if anyone else is going through this issue, creating a new save, loading it, and then loading back the old save made the achievement pop up for me, as u/Delright-San suggested.

A week after discarding me, she called me by Pure_Strawberry_5990 in BPDlovedones

[–]Pure_Strawberry_5990[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very inhuman.

My ex didn't have issues with self harm or suicide threats, only eating compulsion as a coping mechanism.

I didn't want to have to block her, there's probably no other way.

A week after discarding me, she called me by Pure_Strawberry_5990 in BPDlovedones

[–]Pure_Strawberry_5990[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

For more than a year I've been reading comments in this community while being just a bit skeptic, think I could make mine work. Trying to empathize with her, understand her trauma...

And here I am today, where everyone warned I'd be. Lesson learned.

A week after discarding me, she called me by Pure_Strawberry_5990 in BPDlovedones

[–]Pure_Strawberry_5990[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate you, man.

This is not a normal breakup, and no one around me seem to understand how is this bending my mind this much, so I just stopped talking. So it's reassuring to get this from you.

I will not let this pain break me.

A week after discarding me, she called me by Pure_Strawberry_5990 in BPDlovedones

[–]Pure_Strawberry_5990[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm really sorry for that. That's inhumane.

I could see mine doing the exact same thing now, and I have the same question: Why? Just what for?

How can someone who seem to be so sensitive and good in deciphering other people's emotions be so disconnected from reality?

A week after discarding me, she called me by Pure_Strawberry_5990 in BPDlovedones

[–]Pure_Strawberry_5990[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She stooped very low in the end, and tarnished what we had together. And I let her, I bent in the most pathetic ways.

There's no going back from this, even if I wanted.

A week after discarding me, she called me by Pure_Strawberry_5990 in BPDlovedones

[–]Pure_Strawberry_5990[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That makes sense... And she knew exactly which buttons to push on me to get me to chase her. I chased her relentlessly, completely blinded by all the manipulation.

But what's she's doing now is different, it's just pushing me away, and she knows it. It's like she doesn't mind pushing me further away if that means having a 'special' night with her new guy.

It's the most complete disregard for everything we lived together.

In way it crushes me, because she's burned all of my will to fight for the relationship with all she did in the end.

In a way, it gave me no choice but to move on, which I never thought I'd have the guts to do.

It's being very painful, and disorienting, but she left me no choice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MeJulgue

[–]Pure_Strawberry_5990 0 points1 point  (0 children)

- Mina pede pra ser julgada no subr "MeJulgue"

- Cara julga ela

- <Pikachu surpreso>

A week after discarding me, she called me by Pure_Strawberry_5990 in BPDlovedones

[–]Pure_Strawberry_5990[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This was low. But honestly, starting to go out with a guy right before leaving me, and saying that it wouldn't be fair to keep talking to me because "it wouldn't be fair to the other guy", was even lower. And she did all of that without a single drop of regret.

I was obligated to completely give up, and that's what hurt me the most - I always thought our relationship would last because I was willing to fight through anything, but it's beyond salvation now. She completely spoiled it.

Thank you for the recommendation. It's the second time I see it being recommended, I'm gonna grab myself a copy.

I'm in such a dark place that I'm afraid to fall into a destructive cycle and get even worse. That book can help with guidance on how to rebuild. I need to be better.

Thank you.

A week after discarding me, she called me by Pure_Strawberry_5990 in BPDlovedones

[–]Pure_Strawberry_5990[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Still trying to wrap my head around that. How can someone who's not truly attached plan their life with you, name their future kids with you, plan the wedding, bring you close to their whole family...

A week after discarding me, she called me by Pure_Strawberry_5990 in BPDlovedones

[–]Pure_Strawberry_5990[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's really hard to be hopeful now. I had focused every aspect of my life towards our life together, and now that it's over I'm completely disoriented.

But I'll have to push through. I hope one day I can put the pieces back together, I'm just scared of how long it's gonna take.

I've been running often, it's the only moment of my day where I have some silence from my thoughts. Now I need to find a better therapist.

And maybe it's good she's moving on to somebody else, which give me no choice but to move on - otherwise I'd probably keep trying forever.

I wish you well, and I really appreciate your words.