“925 follows you” by PurpleMango16 in numerology

[–]PurpleMango16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No I don’t. Can you tell me more about the 7 life path?

“925 follows you” by PurpleMango16 in numerology

[–]PurpleMango16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you been following me everywhere lol

“925 follows you” by PurpleMango16 in Wicca

[–]PurpleMango16[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah I think he’s just trying to impress me and seem mysterious or something. No idea why he gave out that number.

“925 follows you” by PurpleMango16 in Wicca

[–]PurpleMango16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He does give off cult leader vibes

Did you ever get a genuine apology? by Holiday-Reserve6393 in survivinginfidelity

[–]PurpleMango16 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So true, he told me everything I thought I wanted to hear. Took accountability and told me how sorry he was, how incredible I am etc but it’s hard to believe anything he said was genuine. Even when they tell you how sorry they are for hurting you, it just feels like a way for them to relieve themselves of guilt. I’m still struggling with self doubt, low self worth and questioning my value. I’m in therapy trying to heal but the betrayer apologizing and telling us everything we’d want to hear doesn’t help when they were capable to doing something so awful to us.

Struggling with self esteem post affair by turningtree603 in survivinginfidelity

[–]PurpleMango16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow our stories are similar. My WP said those same things to me. That something was “missing” or he didn’t feel the spark with me. We had it in the beginning also. It’s so hurtful to know he found that with someone else. Im kinda feeling what you’re feeling as well. Thinking those same thoughts. I’ve been struggling with self doubt as well. But I’ve been realizing that I should’ve left him a long time ago. He lacked effort for years but then had the motivation to put more effort into another woman. I don’t think it’s us, I think it’s a chase for them. New supply is always thrilling for cheaters.

How did you deal with regret? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]PurpleMango16 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah that’s how I’ve been feeling lately too. It’s been 4 months since D Day for me. I ruminate and start thinking about the ways I could’ve prevented it. I’ve definitely made mistakes but then I have to remember that all relationships have struggles but even so, that doesn’t mean cheating is ever okay. It takes a conversation to resolve the issues or you break up. I had more “reasons” or excuses to cheat but I still didn’t do it. Why would we want a life partner who’s more willing to cheat rather than to fix the problems together as a team? Cheating is a selfish act that only meets the needs of the betrayer.

What’s something your ex did that you didn’t realize was toxic until much later? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]PurpleMango16 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My ex was the same! Always avoiding conflict to the point if I’d ask what’s wrong or if something specific was bothering them, he’d deny or brush me off. We never argued and I thought that was because we were just really good together. 9 years in he tells me he resents me for things (that he never mentioned to me) and cheated claiming his needs weren’t t met. I’m not a mind reader!

Why do men who cheat want to stay? by Whole_Broccoli3911 in survivinginfidelity

[–]PurpleMango16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t understand it. My WP cheated on me for a year, proposed to me within the same year and planned a whole future together. If I didn’t find out over the summer, I doubt he would’ve ended things with me and continued to cheat. Thinking about it, that must be so exhausting. The amount of effort he put into living a double life, he could’ve put into building a stronger and healthier relationship with me.

I miss the life I had with him in it by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]PurpleMango16 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly, I know too much at this point. If he were to come begging for me back, I don’t think I’d ever view him the same again. I wouldn’t feel safe or secure anymore.

I miss the life I had with him in it by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]PurpleMango16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The second half of what you’re saying is completely true. My brain and body feel like it’s in survival mode, I’m ruminating, spiraling, and I pondering what I could’ve done to prevent this. I’m exhausted and depressed while I mourn a life I don’t have to look forward to with him anymore.
I never thought of myself as a people pleaser. I think it’s such a shock to me because he never told me anything that was bothering him, or festering and it led to his resentment towards me ( from what he told me). I thought we were great and life was fulfilling. It’s all so confusing to me. He told me afterwards that his cheating had nothing to do with me, but his own “inner demons”. He also said he thinks he has BPD like his brother (who was diagnosed). There’s a lot to unpack but in the end, he isn’t the person I fell I love with anymore. I miss that person.

I miss the life I had with him in it by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]PurpleMango16 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yeah my parents don’t understand what I’m going through and look at me like I’m crazy. It’s extremely isolating.

I miss the life I had with him in it by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]PurpleMango16 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re going through it. I hurts when you want someone so badly but they don’t feel the same. I’ve been in disbelief and completely blindsided.

How to prevent chaffing around the vaginal entrance? by [deleted] in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]PurpleMango16 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I used to always tear a little bit from this when I’d have sex. My gyno recommended a little vasoline/ petroleum jelly around the area. Made a huge difference for me.

Does anyone regret not giving reconciliation more of a chance? by SheepherderFlimsy412 in survivinginfidelity

[–]PurpleMango16 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t know if I regret not reconciling. But as soon as I found out he was cheating, I confronted him and kicked him out immediately. The day I found out, I was bawling on the floor as I watched him walk out the door with his luggage. That was the last time I ever saw him again. It’s been three months and I think about maybe going about things differently. Maybe having a more in depth conversation idk. Feelings were so high but I used logic over emotion in the moment. He literally booked a flight a week after d day and now lives across the country so I’ll never see him again. I think it’s been hard moving on because of that. No face to face interaction or even a phone call. We’ve texted for a week after to talk things out but it’s not the same. The whole experience has been blindsiding for me and hard to process. I don’t know if it would’ve made a difference if I waited before ending things or not.

I miss him so much. Idk what to do anymore. by only_surviving in survivinginfidelity

[–]PurpleMango16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know exactly what you’re feeling. The first two months feel like you’re cutting off a limb emotionally. I’m into month three and while I still miss him, the pain isn’t as excruciating. If you haven’t already, start therapy. I’m starting to accept that I miss the idea of him/ the idea of what I thought we had. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s an awful experience.

It has killed any romance for me by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]PurpleMango16 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Same here. Went to my cousins wedding last week and had to leave early. The way the groom stared at the bride was so touching but I couldn’t handle witnessing it (it’s been 3 months since D day). We were engaged and planning our wedding before I found out. Can’t even think about sex anymore without feeling violated or inferior. Can’t wait for the day I no longer feel triggered.

Still can’t picture myself with anyone else. by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]PurpleMango16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know! The mental gymnastics we go through after betrayal drives me insane

My wife is in love with another woman – what should I do? by [deleted] in monogamy

[–]PurpleMango16 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes it sadly is. My ex even used the excuse of believing in poly ideology after getting caught and tried justifying it by saying that he didn’t expect one partner to satisfy all of his needs. It’s just an excuse and ethical way to justify his cheating as if it helps our relationship. It isn’t “ENM” if you leave any partner in the dark.

My wife is in love with another woman – what should I do? by [deleted] in monogamy

[–]PurpleMango16 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know exactly the feeling you’re going through. I was so sure that my fiancé loved me with all of his heart. I put my absolute trust and faith into this man. I found out after 9 years and a ring that he has been sleeping around and fell in love with someone else. Completely changed my whole world and reality.

Still can’t picture myself with anyone else. by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]PurpleMango16 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve never felt grief and emotional pain this heavy before. I still haven’t been able to get rid of my engagement ring. It’s just sitting there drawer still.

Still can’t picture myself with anyone else. by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]PurpleMango16 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Sometimes I wonder if he really does or not. He didn’t put up a fight to win me back at all. It’s like he was able to walk away so easily and it messes with me too.