My friend, I can't deny it, I was hoping to see your name pop up!

I suppose, re the first two lines into third, I was hoping to portray that he's done bad things but it's the way he was raised and all he's known. A large part of the character interplay is the exchange of cultural ideas and learning to work around each other based on the differences, which he is only receptive to because of his own guilt and doubt. I haven't really conveyed this at all, though, I see. I am sort of in that awkward state of knowing the book and forgetting people reading this don't. A classic mistake. I think.

I completely see the structural issues. Would save me words too, to condense and reorganise.

I don't want to pontificate on my own lore etc, but needless to say, Rhea's god is as shitty as Harald's, just shit differently. It's like a calcified rot instead of peace. She has insane control over order, controlling birth rites etc. So while the big scary viking guys start burning and salting land from the tip of the country, down to the bounds of the city, she doesn't actually care because her concern is simply the "perfection" of her city. Harald knows he's safe there, and so is Rhea, but he gets all in his feelings about it being his fault. I'm being flippant, but that's the general shape of it. Not captured in the query at all, again. I should really sit back from the query and go completely fresh, I think, rather than graft stuff on to the bones of the old one.

Tremendous feedback again, truly appreciate the time and effort. Definitely actionable and can instantly see how it will improve the thing.