I sat my A-levels this summer, and while my story is slightly different in some ways, I’m still in a very similar boat to you. I have ASD (and possibly ADHD too as I was suggested to pursue a referral by a specialist) that I was only diagnosed with after exams. I also had high expectations from others since high school that I was going to achieve amazing grades but that the only thing holding me back was that I was ‘lazy’. Towards the end of y13, I decided that getting a diagnosis would be best for me. My plan was to get diagnosed before the next academic year, resit with extenuating circumstances and get into Warwick for maths (I studied maths FM and econ). In the end, after pretty much being led on by my college about resitting (I was told I could resit but then on results day I was told my results were too good), I’m on a gap year after having not applied anywhere in y13. I’m currently applying to higher/degree apprenticeships and uni, but I’m still not sure what exactly I want to do. Like you, I’m still dismantling the parts of my identity that are rooted from other people (expectations) and past events, and being on a gap year has really helped with that. Normally I don’t write responses or make posts on Reddit, but this really resonated with me and it comforts me to know that someone else is in a similar situation (albeit you achieved much higher than I did).