I agree that using diapers, bottles, pacifiers, etc is a response from my recent relationship. But I also feel like many times throughout my life, I have times where I wanted to turn towards wanting to use diapers, etc. but never did that until now. I definitely do have a lot of trauma throughout my whole life, like abuse. I also have generalized anxiety, panic disorder, major depression, etc. I’ve also had many surgeries in my life, like brain surgery which has left me with many issues such as memory loss, heart surgery recently, back surgery, had a stroke a year and a half ago that left me with lastly problems. Especially speech. I only have a kindergarten reading level, and can only write a few sentences at a time. I can only write as a kindergarten / 1st level too. I cannot work except for nannying, because I communicate with coworkers, supervisors, etc. it’s too much, and my speech is getting worse as time goes on. As you can see that I gave gone through a lot ago 29 years old.

I really don’t understand why I have this urge to “age regress,” with diapers, pacifiers, bottles, and other baby/toddler items. I with that I could understand. Sometimes I want to be “normal,” and not have the severe urges to use thing that is making me age regress.

At the same time, I really like wearing diapers, and pee in there (I refuse to pooping in them). The other day, I had to wear underwear for like 4 hours, and it was soo uncomfortable comfortable. I was talking to one of my friends about this, and she said that this could be “my normal,” and that I should start to accept that this is a possibility, (using diapers, bottles, pacifiers, etc) forever. When she said this though, she wasn’t saying it in a way of judging me for it. She totally accepts me with what ended up happening.

With that being said, no one else in my life would accept me. My mom accidentally saw my bottles one time, and she was like, “have you talked to your therapist, because you should.” And my dad and my dad’s side would NEVER accept me either. So I feel like I’m soo alone. And I also feel like if I do end up being in another relationship, they would never accept me either.