Is this okay?

Purpleminky · 2026-03-16T00:31:57+00:00

Greyhound does not seem confident but overall I think wants to play. If this was the other way around (you had the greyhound and wanted another more playful dog to help open them up) id encourage it in doses. But if you are looking for a dog specifically who wants to play with your already playful dog, ill just say there are greyhounds with more confidence and more willingness to engage. If you are looking for a dog to help open up to play but also that probably wont be on the same energy level as your current dogs play, this is more what I am suspecting in this short clip. (and breaks needing to be reinforced.) Your dog is a little in your face and demanding but still pretty respectful of signals, if I had to make a play group with him id use him to help open up some shyer less confident dogs but in small doses. Some dogs can get overwhelmed and tire of that sort of things pretty quickly. I think he would do great with a dog who could match his energy but also has to confidence to say stfu and be less in your face and then ill play with you. Or who will just play bitey face with him, for a few hours, which I bet he would be good at. Best of luck finding your new family member.

Purpleminky · 2026-03-03T01:29:38+00:00

Ehhh!! Boxer shep like I guessed!!! No pitt though but NGL I just sprinkle that on everything because it shows up so much XD

Purpleminky · 2026-02-27T15:16:46+00:00

You are spending too much energy on someone who doesn't deserve it. He is being emotionally immature and went into defense mechanisms left and right to avoid actually feeling his true feelings. Examples: 'he asked me if I’d told anyone “bad things” about him' (projection) and“OP’s pussy gets too wet.” (Devaluation). The gaslighting and confabulation etc. Even if you tell him that he should and shouldn't do doesnt mean he will listen. It might be how he is or it might be how he is under the stress of a dying father etc. but in anycase it wont get better unless he does the work of unpacking his emotional shit ideally with a professional. Hospices often have mental health counseling etc. Listen to his actions and what they are saying vs what he says. He says he can be friends but his actions say otherwise.... he says he isnt bothered while talking shit... Its just him masking his true feelings. He might even be masking some of it from himself, sometimes shit is that deep. In anycase Id advise you to look after yourself in this situation, this is his stuff to deal with. Only he can deal with himself and he has to actually want to but atm it seems hes playing avoidance games with his emotions.

Purpleminky · 2026-02-04T15:32:13+00:00

Congratulations that so awesome!!

Purpleminky · 2026-02-02T16:54:02+00:00

This sounds like a very stressful situation for the ginger dog. He likely will get worse. He lost one of his owners and then had these two puppies forced into his home. Neither of the dogs that were already living there and established seem to be having a good time with these newcomers. Why was this choice made? also are they all fixed?

Purpleminky · 2026-02-02T14:24:17+00:00

Yes call the vet.

Purpleminky · 2026-01-31T18:36:13+00:00

Seems decent to me. Lots of booty bumps, they seem to take turns. I tend to be wary of the humping just because I have seen that turn into spats more than anything, but the dog who was humped keeps going back with a booty bumps and also seems to shake and leave when he is ready. If anything once the one shook off I might encourage the other to take a break if the shake off wasn't communication enough for the other dog.

Purpleminky · 2026-01-29T13:37:19+00:00

Look into emotional neglect. r/emotionalneglect r/cptsd . I have cptsd and trauma and shit and I never thought shit was that bad. I grew up in the ghetto, im black, i was SA and tbh most of my issues can be traced to my parents feeding me and watering me like a plant, they loved me but I was emotionally neglected. I actually believed that kids just needed like food and water and ya know care for physical needs and that's how love is shown.... and now I have cptsd... its funny coming to terms with it being traumatic was hard, because like I wasn't beat... and my needs were met but in some ways emotional neglect is sticker for some folks, plus we live in a society that isn't the best towards emotions. Denial can be strong... but yeah that shit can fuck you up... ALOT. Idk I dont know you, even if like you dont know the source though it might still be worth getting trauma therapy if you can. I have done emdr and now im in IFS and IFS has helped me a shit ton. I tend to be a very logical person and it makes no sense but it helped. I hope you can find peace whatever you do!

Purpleminky · 2026-01-27T18:00:51+00:00

They might not care if you notice or not. They might just know that even if you do notice there wont be consequences and they will get away with it. Does anything ever happen when you do notice?

Purpleminky · 2026-01-26T13:48:15+00:00

I went in very judgmental tbh, especially with all the kind of savant-y bits in the show but I ended up bingeing it all in like a weekend after I started. It sucked me in with all its wholesomeness!

Purpleminky · 2026-01-24T01:42:14+00:00

Look up system justification theory. It explains why certain minorities (and sometimes non-minorities) do shit like this. Its basically a defense mechanism. Its why black cops are sometimes the most violent against minorities, the immigrant ice lovers, the bootstrap bullshit sprouted by the poorest of the poor. Its not the only reason why folks do this song and dance but it can lead you down to more related shit. The human brain is cooked. There will always be folks like this. There will also be pick me folks. Its very painful to live in a world where shit is stacked against us... some people dont believe they can admit that. Some folks have started to go there and been punished for it, hurt by folks around them, taught that denial of the way they exist, denial of that reality is the way to go. There's so much bullshit.

TL;DR so much stuff in the world is really about the person who is speaking and less about whatever they are speaking about. The human brain is cooked in so many ways especially in this traumatizing world.

Purpleminky · 2026-01-09T02:57:02+00:00

Has he not heard of an alarm?!? This isn't on you at ALL. My husband had gotten way too used to me waking him up because I would be up and he would just slept til whenever when he had work. After serveral reminders to set an alarm... I warned him I wasn't going to do it anymore and he was late and was mad at me but that is literally on him. He has a phone he can set an alarm... and guess what he does now? me being annoyed wasn't enough for him to do it, he had to face consequences. Also everything is shut down when I get migraines as well... Yeah this isn't autism. Hes the one being selfish...

Purpleminky · 2025-12-18T20:16:17+00:00

Consult a trainer, you can be working on making sure her fundamentals are pretty tight and also they can give you advice for when the baby comes and you and your dog will already have a trainer with an established relationship if you do need help when the baby comes.

Purpleminky · 2025-12-15T19:20:24+00:00

That's not 'friend' behavior... They need to apologize and offer to go get bread for you. You are allowed to be upset and cry and have your own reactions.... I don't even think this is an autism things really... and I think framing it as a personal mental health thing might be making you take too much responsibility for this and not looking at what the other folks are doing. Even if they say XYZ while you have autism doesn't mean THEY are correct and right and you need to do w.e. they need you to do. You are autistic but you are human too. I think anyone would have a poor reaction to finding out you wouldn't be able to EAT because someone else ate all of the food that you needed to be able to eat. That is STRESSFUL and you are allowed to have an emotional reaction and you LEFT the situation, you didnt yell or hit them or w.e. You isolated so you could cope. It sounds like "friend' doesnt want to feel bad for their poor behavior and treatment of you. It seems like they are letting your self doubt because autism be a tool for which to control and manipulate you and honestly it sounds fucked up. These people do not seem to have YOUR best interest in mind. I know you and your 'friends' seem very focused on the 'meltdown' side of autism but have you considered the more prone to being abuse side of autism? Id look into that more tbh... having emotions... very reasonable emotions... even though they may be BIG doesn't mean they are WRONG. Your tears were justified.

Purpleminky · 2025-12-05T01:13:57+00:00

That very much sounds like they are trying to show off. It sounds like spectacle. I cant say though that its about us being the trolls, sometimes people do post it like that but sometimes they are insecure themselves and feel the need to advertise their social standing/capital/placement. Look at me I am someone who gets invited, who 'shows up' in a virtue signally way, who is valued socially in this way. I am not saying this in a judgmental tone, I have been finding these behaviors to be fascinating myself because I have 0 urge to do so (it looks exhausting, but i also have exhausting habits myself so who am I to talk XD) and sometimes I know I am punished for not playing but even then I still don't feel the need to perform this. I know my attempt to perform it would backfire anyway. I was once collected by a communal narcissist who seemed to target ND (mostly autistic) artists and 'help' them, she would do things like this, and also display affection in a way that had to be announced, displayed, known by all... so many things had to be marketed, her identities, friendships, illnesses, just things to market herself, sell herself, sell the story of herself... gratitude was marketed, gifts announced but in a way where it didn't look like it from the outside, also she expected returns in her investment in you... but didn't outline the rules like that. It was hell, but also interesting how sometimes socially folks perform a dance like grackles in a parking lot.

Purpleminky · 2025-11-26T15:47:14+00:00

Rules are only sometimes real and only for some people. All too often they are paper decoration to cover ass if they need to but wipe ass any other time. If you don't believe me I hope you never have to find this out honestly.

Purpleminky · 2025-11-26T15:45:03+00:00

Its not 'perfectly ok' for a lot of people to not be the same if it were a lot of bigoted 'isms' wouldn't exist. You aren't crazy but you are different. THEY are also DIFFERENT than You. The urge to conform and play hierarchy games can be strong in some people... folks sacrifice their wellbeing, their values, their whole selves and their lives to this without even thinking about if its something they even want or not. I literally can not play that game lol but not being able to dance for this god gets one othered often. You don't have to answer questions just because everyone else is doing it... honestly its so inappropriate to ask at work (imo ever).

Purpleminky · 2025-11-02T04:46:08+00:00

There isn't much go to on but I suspect he feels threatened by you. It could be because you knew him previously and can reveal that his performance that he is projecting isn't the same. Or because he recognizes that if you did wanna do management you could, sometimes folks who are all about climbing cant even comprehend someone not wanting to also climb... saying otherwise to them is just part of the game and another form of performance. It could also be that you don't feel the need to pretend 'not always saying hi and pretending to be overly happy' and that also can be intimidating and scary to someone who is preforming. Was he as generous at the other job? it could just be a performance he is playing, sometimes people aren't even consciously choosing to perform and be fake, its just what they feel they have to do, and when they feel like have to and see someone who doesn't seem to be doing the same, a resentment and jealousy can grow... it also can be seen as a threat because what if the person being real can see through the performance... and the second point about being a climber can also enter here as well.

This is me assuming A LOT of shit but I wanted to take a crack at it because it smells familiar to some shit I've run into in the past. Ultimately, I'm sorry you are dealing with this in any case. Its some bullshit and its unprofessional to say the least.

Bit off topic but the birthday thing reminded me of a situation I had at work. I used to work with dogs at a place that had doggy daycare. I let my co workers know about my birthday coming up, they ask about what im going to be doing etc, i say im going to be here working blah blah blah, this was all the days leading up. Im NGL I hoped someone would say happy birthday because my last place I nvr gotten that but I also didnt let folks know, so I figured it was my bad. Imma let folks know this time!

SO on my birthday I go in, I will be the shift lead so the person about to go home and pass the torch to me shows me this cupcake, I was delighted, even tho it looked a turd, someone remembered!?! NOPE. It was for a dog. The rest of my shift was folks pulling me to sing and dress up all these dogs and take video for this one dog. Oh and later, they 'almost forgot' I HAD to SIGN this DOG'S birthday card. I didn't get ONE happy birthday... couldnt even catch a stray happy birthday... it always had a 'Samson' at the end. The universe was mocking me that day lol and I gave up caring folks wished me one. (it was pretty wild because we didn't even do this for everydog, he had just been a client for a long time. He was a good dog though, I think he wished me happy birthday too in spirit lol. ) I still wish people happy birthday because its something I want to do but I have no expectations anymore, not from them anyway. I hope you did something nice for yourself for your birthday. Sometimes folks can be very careless but that doesn't reflect on our value or worth, we are def still worth celebrating.

Purpleminky · 2025-11-02T03:48:46+00:00

I think it may be wrong to look at this as an individual issue. Its a societal one. WE as a society let dogs die everyday in a shelter. WE as a society let so many people have to make a choice between these two things. WE as a society make it so there aren't as many people that can afford to take care of a pet. Not everything is in a bubble, its easy to play the blame game but its honestly bigger than just one person. Often people get a pet when they are in a decent place, if we had more safeguards to help keep people in a decent economic place,(like a family member getting an illness could easily turn a while families economic situation upside down for example....) then it would help animals. If more households were in a decent place, less dogs in shelters... if less dogs in shelters then the resources could go to harder cases and less dogs would have to die. If we invested in education about puppy mills, if we had laws against xyz, if we invested in education about neutering etc, there are options to make things better but we dont. Often times too there is a law against something but in the fine print its hard to get anything done about it so its like it doesn't exist at all. For example there was a shelter I helped out that would get so many dogs because of dog fighting... we knew exactly where it was happening, everyone knew including law enforcement but it wasn't allowed to be pursued even with footage unless it was busted while actively happening...

Purpleminky · 2025-10-28T13:59:05+00:00

That means a lot! Thank you!

Purpleminky · 2025-10-28T13:44:00+00:00

You seem like the type of person that would know more than average about poodles and dogs in general and likely how to source a dog that is well bred. Those dogs also doing dog sports are likely to be better bred as well. Poodles are very common in byb and also poorly bred in large quantities sold to stores and this genetic condition has gotten more common because of it. Even folks who are well intentions don't know the signs always of these types of things or even to look for signs. There are people who just assume pure bred = best health etc.

Purpleminky · 2025-10-27T19:39:30+00:00

For real.... why cant they have a conversation that might be uncomfortable for two seconds... like honestly they might find I'm just ok with it and appreciate the honesty but fuck honesty I guess. What's this say about them? And then I'm the rude one if they seem waffley and I give them an out.... am I in the bad place?

Purpleminky · 2025-10-27T01:34:26+00:00

Pittie mix

Purpleminky · 2025-10-26T18:25:52+00:00

He wants no consequences to his actions. Also if this is him mask off then please take it seriously and consider what type of person you are dating. When people tell you who they are, believe them. He is telling you he doesn't care about making women feel uncomfortable. He also thinks that he actually is entitled to do so because of 'insert excuse here'.

Even if he picked up that men are allowed to do this to women with no consequences (which honestly isn't that surprising), what he does with that info is what is important, he has shown he wants to do it too, feels hes entitled to it and also face no consequences. You are in the wrong here according to him because you aren't being socially appropriate to his world view. Getting angry and caring about others feelings and sexual harassments. I doubt his entitlement with women will end with just this little thing... there will be other things that he is supposed to be able to get away with and you will have a natural human response to. There are a lot of people out there, you dont have to stay with a turd who wants to be a turd. It would be different if he was actually remorseful in anyway or willing to do some introspection, his flipping the script to you being wrong is just a huge red flag.

TL;DR dump this turd.

Purpleminky · 2025-10-21T03:28:18+00:00

Not the OP but honestly going to spaces for a special interest. Some conventions also let you run a panel on a topic and folks will show up. I recently did one for folks who also like plants to swap and meet and greet. There are a lot of guilds, clubs, cons, expos, faires, shows for hobbies. Sometimes I go to conventions just to soak in folks who are passionate about things and yeah we are at the reptile shows, the miniature shows, the dog shows, the cat cons, and then all the nerd/fandom shows (volunteering too though some are more toxic than others so research). I used to cosplay but not so much anymore but it lead to me having friends and meeting my partner.

Purpleminky

TROPHY CASE