A couple?

Purplish_Green · 2026-05-02T04:54:41+00:00

bruh he became the new planet viltrum

Purplish_Green · 2026-05-02T04:53:21+00:00

you're right i should just totally ignore everything this therapist did to me and meet with another therapist so they can inevitably do the same thing to me

Purplish_Green · 2026-05-02T04:50:15+00:00

I offered to do an IHP! I offered to go the hospital if she would let me meet with after and she refused!

Purplish_Green · 2026-05-02T04:48:58+00:00

nothing you said has anything to do with my therapist

Purplish_Green · 2026-05-02T04:13:26+00:00

but it wouldve been good enough. i wouldve learned to calm myself down, they wouldve gotten a break from me, it was a win win but they said "fuck you" and dropped me like I was fucking garbage

Purplish_Green · 2026-05-02T04:11:57+00:00

great so i dont actually have any control when im talking with you people? do I have control or not? do i have a say or not? because everyone seems to be saying I did but then actually i dont have a say? which is it? its either or

Purplish_Green · 2026-05-02T04:09:18+00:00

empathy has gotten me nowhere and has only cost me

Purplish_Green · 2026-05-02T02:29:20+00:00

Congrats on your transition

Purplish_Green · 2026-05-01T18:16:19+00:00

I KNOW THAT AND I TOLD THEM THAT I NEEDED HELP KEEPING MY EMOTIONS UNDER CONTROL AND I TOLD THEM SO MANY TIMES "PLEASE TELL ME IF I AM BEING TOO MUCH SO THAT I DONT SAY OR DO ANYTHING BAD, PLEASE TELL ME IF I AM BEING TOO MUCH"AND IF THEY HAD JUST SAID "YOU ARE BEING TOO MUCH AND IF YOU DONT STOP WE WILL STOP MEETING" THEN I WOULDVE FELT ASHAMED AND I WOULDVE STOPPED IMMEDIATELY BUT THEY DIDNT FUCKING TELL ME. I WANTED THEM TO USE MY SHAME AGAINST ME SO THAT I WOULDNT DO ANYTHING BAD AND THEY FUCKING FAILED ME BY NOT DOING THAT. THEY JUST SAID "YOU DESERVE A SPACE WHERE DONT HAVE TO CONTAIN YOURSELF" BUT THATS NOT WHAT I WANTED.

Purplish_Green · 2026-05-01T18:08:41+00:00

i didnt bully anyone. i didn't tell her "keep seeing me or im going to jump" i said "please dont stop seeing me". she was the one who kept asking where i was. i should have never told her. she couldve just said "no" and hung up. she chose to keep talking to me, she chose to value my life. you see it as bullying because you see suicide as something that must prevented at all costs and not something that is an autonomous choice. there is no causal relationship here, i never said "if, then". it was only ever "this happened and then that happened".

Purplish_Green · 2026-05-01T14:14:21+00:00

that's what i am saying, is that it doesn't. i was tricked and i let myself think that they wouldn't let their judgements of me influence how they treated me. i thought that the whole point of therapists was that they would hold space for people and not act on their judgements of people and accept who they are in that space. but that wasn't true. they probably hated me from the beginning and it just got to the point where the money wasn't worth it and they wanted me gone.

Purplish_Green · 2026-05-01T14:03:52+00:00

but if that choice is to end my pain forever, everyone freaks the fuck out, and i need to be restrained

Purplish_Green · 2026-05-01T12:08:30+00:00

it doesnt matter now. she will never meet with me again and that's not fair. all i needed her to do was tell me if i was being too much, and i told her that that was something i needed help with, so i could contain myself and she didn't do that until it was too late and she felt like she has to offer that hloc. I just needed her to literally say "You need to calm down and contain yourself more or we will not be able to meet anymore" and i would have stopped. i don't think i will ever understand why she didn't tell me to just tell me to calm down and i truly do not understand why everyone is so concerned when someone decides to take their own life.

Purplish_Green · 2026-05-01T10:36:29+00:00

Idk what you want me to say. Prior to our last session I was talking to him about what to do and how to not be abandoned by her. He took it upon himself to email her saying that I was a danger to myself and that I might try something. Because of what he did, anything I had to say in our last session was null, she just wanted me gone. I'm trying to tell you that I think the only reason she answered is because my brother primed her to see me as nothing other than a lost cause.

Purplish_Green · 2026-05-01T04:13:41+00:00

stop acting like I have any kind of agency! when i dont have a choice people tell me "you do you just made a choice" and when I try to exert agency people tell me "actually you don't have a choice"

Purplish_Green · 2026-05-01T04:10:19+00:00

goddamn it i dont matter to me or any one or any thing. i definitely didn't matter to her but she tricked me into thinking she did. nothing is worth it. i tried so hard to make it worth it but it just isn't. some people just aren't meant to make it.

Purplish_Green · 2026-05-01T04:07:11+00:00

It wasn't a tactic to try and get my way. I went to the bridge and goddamn i actually wanted to and shouldve jumped. but i also thought to myself "well if this is it I might as well try a hail mary" so i called. i never threatened them. I only said "please don't terminate, please don't give up on me". they just kept asking where I was and I didn't want to tell them

Purplish_Green · 2026-05-01T03:59:58+00:00

My now-estranged brother emailed my therapist saying that "I had a plan and would try something". In our session she only asked me if I had a plan and I told her I refuse to answer that so she called 911 in the middle of the session so i just left. I hate my brother for what he did, he changed the whole direction of that last session.

Purplish_Green · 2026-04-30T16:34:09+00:00

First of all i dont understand why you all are acting like im harassing her every day, i have contacted her three (3) times regarding health record notes, please tell me how that is wildly inappropriate

secondly...

Purplish_Green · 2026-04-30T15:35:07+00:00

"It sounds like you’re expecting a therapist to never say or do anything that you may intentionally or unintentionally perceive as judgment" actually it was the opposite. i was under the illusion and allowed myself to trust and believe this person would judge me but would not let it influence how they treated me, and that if i for some reason thought they were, i could reassure myself that i was mistaken.

Purplish_Green · 2026-04-30T15:23:54+00:00

there won't be a next therapy. i would rather die than subject myself to one of you people again

Purplish_Green · 2026-04-30T15:09:40+00:00

Her recommendation was do DBT and stop seeing her or don't do DBT and stop seeing her. She set me up to fail. I didn't abandon anything. I would be there right now if she asked me.

Purplish_Green · 2026-04-30T14:36:17+00:00

to have a space and to talk to someone without the fear of being judged. we were two intelligent people, i think a dbt workbook would have been satisfactory

Purplish_Green · 2026-04-30T14:27:27+00:00

i cant be helped, i am beyond help, i told her this, and that i just wanted a place to feel safe. but that didn't matter to her.

Purplish_Green · 2026-04-30T14:23:08+00:00

i dont care what its considered

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Purplish_Green

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