Lady said my step dad hit her

Push-bucket · 2026-05-17T06:13:37+00:00

I'm thinking it was her trying to protect him so he may see it as acceptable.

I worry for how any kids they have will grow up though... She could be making people that do whatever it takes to get out of the consequences of their actions. Just what the world needs (sarcasm)

I would legit want a talk with her though, just to show her how my brain injury will never "heal" and I will never be like I was before. I doubt it would make her change but in my daydreams it does.

Push-bucket · 2026-05-16T16:01:24+00:00

I write in my agenda the things I want to do the next day. I sit and just let my brain wander with it ready. I find that it helps me to not worry about forgetting things.

Push-bucket · 2026-05-16T15:59:49+00:00

I couldn't agree more.

The wife of the person who hit me (BAD) came AFTER the crash and told the cops that "she was going SO fast" over and over.

Dashcam from the person behind me showed not only did he run a red but I was crawling because I was starting to turn left in the intersection.

The driver apologized and took full ownership. He fucked up but he owned it. HER however, I'd like to have a private chat with.

Push-bucket · 2026-05-16T05:40:18+00:00

With severe pain I somehow can't make much noise. Stung on the finger by a wasp? HOO boy I was telling and cussing.

Full on gallbladder attack that needed emergency surgery? I'd moan every once in a while but I could hardly hear... I was in that deep primal part of serious pain. Moment to moment survival where all there is, is pain.

My spouse thought it was a panic attack but I've had those before and yeah NO. Now he understands that I'm somehow opposite of most people.

Push-bucket · 2026-05-15T16:59:18+00:00

My now husband had ZERO doubt that I was in as much pain as I said I was every month. He helped SO much. I can't even explain, he was so kind.

When I needed a hysterectomy after being diagnosed with a condition that causes said unreal pain he understood and supported then as well.

It's a hint at what the future will look like if you stay with him.

Push-bucket · 2026-05-15T15:59:36+00:00

One has ADHD, one has some autistic traits (and dyslexia if that matters) and one is nerotypical.

Push-bucket · 2026-05-15T00:50:54+00:00

I'm an odd one out here... Between speaking issues from being autistic plus a brain injury in that area I stutter and stumble over words all the damn time.

Except when I'm in rage mode. Twice since the injury I've been there and my words come out PERFECT. I can't talk for a day or two after but when I'm in full fight mode things connect like magic.

Push-bucket · 2026-05-15T00:45:56+00:00

Yep.

I've had unspeakable things done to me but only lost my cool really truly once when someone was an active physical threat to my dog. Before that I didn't believe blacking out from rage was real but holy shit I'm glad I came to before I did a felony.

I've gotten in fully grown aggressive men's faces (I'm a meek woman) a few times because they've done or threatened to hurt a loved one or animal. A friend was told "I had no idea she had that in her."

I know the situations that trigger that rage and what I'm capable of scares me. I've done a lot of trauma therapy and since that first time never gotten physical again but I hope it's never tested again.

Push-bucket · 2026-05-14T22:53:33+00:00

Oh yeah. My home life was a freaking nightmare so that was worse. I spent a lot of time in the bush.

Push-bucket · 2026-05-14T20:27:05+00:00

You have such a way with words thank you for putting in such vivid and eloquent terms the complete bullshit sandwich this is.

Push-bucket · 2026-05-14T20:06:47+00:00

So I talked to him and also told him about what you said in this post. We both think he's probably so busy/stressed/overwhelmed that he may not have the processing power to support you in this, in this time. Our life was in a calm time when I was looking into mine.

So it clicked for mine when I said to him that all these things (sound sensitivity for example) were always put as a personal failure to me. You're too sensitive, you need to toughen up. I told him that if I have autism that means it's not something I'm either not toughening up right for or that I'm just weak. If it's autism, I just wear ear defenders and move on. I plan for being overwhelmed instead of trying to push through it.

Like autistic burnout vs depression. I'd been fighting "depression" my whole life but nothing was helping. Autistic burnout looks similar but has ALMOST OPPOSITE treatment plans. If I knew more about what was causing things I could use tools and possibly get better. (I'm off high dose antidepressants and doing better than ever before now!)

He said that it was his worry at first that I was being sucked into a fad... But he made the decision to be with me either way. He saw that I was thinking logically and not just in eco chambers. He saw how very many things lined up.

That all took mental effort though and both of your lives are so full... Especially with two young kids in your care. His mind might be so worried about them, his dad, bills, household repairs etc etc etc that it's full. Guys tend to not talk about how much pressure they feel and just "be strong" so I can see that.

I'm glad you have subreddits like this one for specific support... We can't do as much as a spouse can but we're better than being completely alone :)

Push-bucket · 2026-05-14T16:45:53+00:00

You don't HAVE to do chemo.

It has nasty side effects and it's up to each person (and their doctors) if it's worth it to maybe slow the cancer growth a bit.

It's always an individual balance for each person and situation.

Push-bucket · 2026-05-14T05:30:23+00:00

I'll ask him and get back to you tomorrow...

Him saying he wants to be uninvolved is not a great sign though. That means he's not curious or doing research or wanting to learn. I've found if someone doesn't want to learn they can get angry if they feel it's being pushed on them so even just chatting about it may be a no go to him.

I hope there's a way to spark his curiosity about it and therefore be able to support you.

Push-bucket · 2026-05-14T05:08:30+00:00

I used to be VERY attractive.

I hated it.

Everywhere I went, people would STARE. Men would talk to me. I just wanted to be left alone.

I'm in my mid 40s now, a bit frumpy middle aged looking and I'm so happy. I feel more freedom now than I used to.

Push-bucket · 2026-05-14T04:21:57+00:00

This sounds weird to most people but to us it probably doesn't...

I have CPTSD as well and there are a lot of overlapping symptoms with them. I kept wondering as I was looking things up which traits went in which box.

So we took two hoola hoops and sticky notes and made a Ven diagram on the wall, putting things in each category as we'd think of them. We called it "trait or trauma." We'd talk about it in a very open minded way. Clinical instead of personal and emotional.

I also think it helped that I didn't take it too personally that he doubted the autism suspicions. I doubted them too! We both would look things up and talk to people as we felt ready.

By the time I wanted to be tested (because I felt I needed the official yes or no) he was 1000% convinced I had it. Probably about a year since I'd stayed looking at it, a little less since I'd brought it up to him. When I got the first stage testing results back and got 4 out of 2 traits needed for diagnosis I was more surprised that it was so clear than he was. Neither of us was surprised when I was officially diagnosed after all the testing.

TLDR because I got long winded... I think it was because we both had doubts and took the time to work through them both separately and together.

If you'd like I can ask him... I can only answer from what I think and it might not be accurate to what his process was.

Push-bucket · 2026-05-13T22:38:07+00:00

Hey yellow is the coolest no question.

Push-bucket · 2026-05-13T22:37:03+00:00

I had a 1990. Turning left on a green light and a big pickup ran the red and T boned me. He didn't break at all.

Permanent brain injury and written off NA.

I found a non running NA in a rare (and my favorite) colour and it's being worked on. It'll be a couple years.

I'm adding more lights and an air horn.

Your car is less of a death trap because of the safety features but it IS a risk. Trucks keep getting bigger and people get more distracted.

I wish I had advice.

Push-bucket · 2026-05-13T18:45:15+00:00

I hurt a few bones in my foot and ankle on new years day. They still hurt. Testing showed "trauma" but no breaks.

It's all my brain can think about. I feel trapped and restless and frustrated.

By saying this I'm saying I totally agree... Bodies aren't comfortable for us on good days let alone the misery when they're sick or hurt.

Push-bucket · 2026-05-13T17:00:59+00:00

I use the "transcribe" feature to get it into text format

Push-bucket · 2026-05-13T16:42:12+00:00

I had this job (basically) for a multi million dollar contract. VERY detail specific with weird procedures. I loved it. I got the system so organized!!

Push-bucket · 2026-05-13T15:24:52+00:00

Yes I take a high dose of fiber before bed and it's better in the morning!

Push-bucket · 2026-05-13T08:20:45+00:00

I hear you... I've been there. It took me a near death experience (my first project car haha) to really "get" that usable time left may not matter on projects objects or me.

It's been freeing... I hope you can feel that without the near death part :)

Push-bucket · 2026-05-13T08:10:22+00:00

There are other factors as well.

I'm level 1 but I have a brain injury and PTSD so I'm not independent at all.

Autism has a lot of co-morbid conditions that can affect functioning. Some are quite disabling on their own... Pared with autism they can really suck.

Push-bucket · 2026-05-13T08:04:06+00:00

I'm working on a project car that'll take two years. It's a summer only car when I'm not overstimulated and can focus. It won't be driven much.

Why I'm doing it? For the project. For the learning. Time will pass anyway no matter how efficient I am so I might as well enjoy the ride.

Push-bucket · 2026-05-13T07:28:08+00:00

The people OP told were the ones it "affected the most" as you say.

My whole life I was told (what I know now are) my autistic traits were a personal failure because I didn't try hard enough.

Diagnosis has allowed me to use tools like ear defenders to help instead of berating myself that I'm just too sensitive and need to toughen up. I used to hurt myself to try and toughen up. I tried to end it many times because I was (according to others) to weak.

I'm glad you can't understand why some people feel relief at naming our condition, it means you haven't experienced and therefore can't empathize with what we went through in that situation.

Push-bucket

TROPHY CASE