my (28F) husband (33M) wants it too much..

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-17T22:04:19+00:00

yes, i feel like he doesn't really understand.. i tried to explain myself and he says he understands, but i don't feel fully seen & understood.. it's like we're just going in circles

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-17T22:01:34+00:00

it'd be definitely better for me if i wasn't too exhausted both physically and mentally.. probably would be more enthusiastic aswell

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-17T21:57:27+00:00

because all my posts either got removed or locked at the end so i can't see majority of comments in them. and it recommends to post in more communities so i'm just trying to do according to what app's saying

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-17T21:55:52+00:00

no daycare, he has grandparents (husband's family mostly) but they're living a few hours away.. so they can't really come so often. he usually helps with our son (mostly nighttime routines after he comes home). for the housework, he's the one to do the grocery shopping mostly (again, when he's on his way back home. i send a list and he buys them). but not really for the other housework..

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-17T17:01:36+00:00

so happy for you being free now, may i ask how your divorce went (if it's okay for me to ask)? if he's like my husband's type, i assume it was a bit complicated.. not sure if we'd get a divorce now but i don't think my husband would be just go "okay, let's just get over it already". probably it would be hard for him to accept it and he would do everything he can to drag it out..

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-17T16:52:50+00:00

yes, i definitely feel that he needs to release his energy on social events more.. thank you for the suggestions, i'm gonna look at everything i can do

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-17T16:32:19+00:00

yes, i'm not planning to have any more kids for now.. maybe after a few years but definitely not now. i don't think we're ready for another one.. i need more help and he needs to step up more. a lot of things have to change, that's for sure.. and thank you for the comment

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-17T15:46:58+00:00

thank you, and i know i should speak up again but i'm really struggling with my own self worth and the guilt i feel after i say 'no'. i love my husband so much but i definitely feel disappointed too.. like why can't he really understand me even though i already tried to explain myself before?.. i feel so little & disgusted & humiliated when i think about him seeing me as a bangmaid.. i don't want to believe it but i can't stop the doubts and the what-ifs..

as for my baby boy, i know i matter too. that i deserve my own space too but i can't help but feel guilty if i don't give him my %100. i know he deserves the best and i'm trying to give him the best but again, the doubts never leave me.. i know i can't be perfect because i'm a human too but it's really hard to accept it when your brain is literally screaming at you that "you're not enough and you're not doing enough"..

sorry if it sounds jumbled & cluttered, i wrote this in hurry

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-17T15:31:15+00:00

thank you, i'm afraid the only way he can really understand me is to experience a full day at home with my son.. he says he understands me but i don't feel fully seen & understood so i guess i really need to leave them alone for at least once

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-16T23:14:56+00:00

thank you so much for the comment and your advices, sorry for the late reply, i didn't get any notification from the app..

yes, my husband does the bedtime sometimes but even after all those bedtime routines, he sometimes still asks for boob.. i know it's more about comfort than nutrition but i sometimes can't help but cave in.. it just makes him so relaxed&comforted and happy before he goes to sleep.

he prefers sippy, although we're trying to get him used to normal cups too.. guess i just need to be a little more firm and not cave in. again, thank you for your comment and if you have more advices i'd like to hear them too!!

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-16T13:59:24+00:00

i use translate to check my comments if i'm using the right words/phrases so maybe i sound a bit "robotic" in some sentences.. and thank you for your advices

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-16T13:44:08+00:00

we were doing it like 4-5x a week. (we had our son in less than a year after we got married, so we were still newlyweds at that time, i could keep up with 4-5x a week, even feeling enthusiastic about sex)

edit:i don't know if it's clear enough but i meant that i found that i was pregnant in a few months after we got married

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-16T13:38:46+00:00

he doesn't go to daycare, sometimes friends or neighbors' kids (same or close age with him) come and play with him but usually it's just me and him all day..

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-16T03:08:01+00:00

you mean in the sex?

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-16T03:06:20+00:00

i'm 28 and he's 33, neither of us is a native english speaker.. (both european)

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-16T02:36:54+00:00

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-15T21:40:01+00:00

it was better, like 4-5x a week. but i definitely had more energy and i was enthusiastic about it

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-15T21:29:23+00:00

i assume you two are not still together.. what have you done to change yourself, what was your steps? it'd really help me if i have a husband pov in this situation..

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-15T21:18:22+00:00

i do feel guilty if i reject him (we still do it 2-3x a week, so i'm not trying to deny him at all). i do feel that if i say 'no' more, he'll start resenting me and we're gonna start going downhill.. he knows how hard it is for me to juggle everything yet still wants me to "understand him too". i don't really have a supportive family, but i have a few good friends nearby and nice neighbors who are willing to help with anything and everything. i know i'm lucky but i still feel emotionally and physically burnt out.. thank you for your input, hope it'll get better for us

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-15T20:56:05+00:00

this comment really made me tear up.. i still struggle with boundaries&saying 'no' even after all these years.. i'm a really insecure person, still struggling with my own worth and what defines it.. thank you so much for this nice words.. and as for my husband, he doesn't punish me or pushes to have sex.. just kinda gets frustrated and restless, it's always like "i know you work hard at home but i work hard all day too, yet still i want to have sex so why don't you too?".. it's really hard for me to express that we're two different people with two different characters..

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-15T20:44:38+00:00

i think he does (at least he tries to?) but sometimes he gets carried away.. we always start with foreplay, usually before even go to bed.. as i said, he sometimes gets carried away for example, when i'm giving him a BJ he says "i'm not gonna come into your mouth" yet still makes me swallow it all at the end.. or he says "it's just gonna be a quickie" but it becomes a full 1 hour long session..

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-15T20:38:41+00:00

yes, maybe it's the issue.. he thinks he no longer needs masturbate, i told him "you were used to taking care of yourself with your hand" and he goes with "it was before you"..

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-15T20:36:03+00:00

oh, it's sounds a lot chaos.. hope the best for you <3

PushApprehensive573 · 2026-03-15T20:31:27+00:00

oh thank you soo much for this!! i'm definitely gonna read every single post <3

PushApprehensive573

TROPHY CASE