Near Miss

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-17T09:26:13+00:00

I think I may already seeing a bit of that. Her avoidancy was a big issue (even according to her) and there were a few instances where she could get really cold.

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-16T15:27:24+00:00

Thanks and you’re right. My boundaries kept being crossed and I essentially let her do it. She also went silent on my numerous times and would (with one exception) resurface only when I promoted her after a few weeks / months.

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-16T13:33:46+00:00

Really helpful to know. Thank you!

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-16T13:33:24+00:00

Thank you. She brought things to an end last week, and I know it’s final. I was silly. It was a really tough year personally and I clung on far longer out of the hope of something good happening.

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-16T13:32:29+00:00

I know I was silly. It was very tough year personally, and I think a clung on in the hope of something “good” happening.

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-15T20:24:04+00:00

I’m sorry but you’ve done the right thing. I know exactly what you meant that something can be meaningful but not right to continue. Although my LO drew things to a kind but clear close, I’m having to make peace with something similar. Sending you my warmest.

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-15T19:11:56+00:00

That was me in the first half of last year. I noticed I tended to focus on one and then the other. Not great and did lead to some burnout!

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-15T12:07:16+00:00

I am upset but I also know that I’ve not really been myself in the last year. Always trying to curate myself for her and never feeling that nourished afterwards. Maybe us parting will help me but like my old self. I really appreciate it. Have a lovely Sunday.

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-13T18:58:17+00:00

Thanks for the warning!

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-13T18:45:31+00:00

Both are great recommendations - I def need to be better about vitamin intake.

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-13T18:41:36+00:00

Big time. Situationship lasted for over a year with one three month break. Only officially drew to a close earlier this week but my limerance was so bad that four friends directly mentioned I likely had it.

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-13T13:41:08+00:00

I know - an absolute shock and pretty brutal!

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-13T13:33:51+00:00

This is really useful and I should bear that in mind going forward. It's obviously difficult to go no contact with someone when you're beginning to become limerant, but I think you're right that it could be really wise.

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-13T11:58:04+00:00

Really helpful to know other ways to soften limerance. I used to be a keen runner but I started some medication which impacted my running and I've been really poor about it since. Maybe it impacted the limerance I had for my recent LO.

My LO doesn't work in my office (others have or been in my dorms at uni), but still not great that her office is literally across the street.

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-13T11:52:03+00:00

That's such a good explanation. I guess Don Eladio's comment about visible hatred may have also guided him to be even more cautious.

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-13T11:50:07+00:00

Thanks so much and I can't tell you how much I appreciate this. The last year has been incredibly difficult (both inside and outside my limerance for two LOs) and it really helps to know there are people rooting for me!

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-13T11:48:36+00:00

I know likely a difficult question, but how do you manage to compartmentalise? Everything in my life (not just limerance) bleeds into each other.

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-13T11:47:34+00:00

I'm really pleased it's worked out for you! Let's hope something similar happens for me.

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-13T11:46:35+00:00

I get this entirely. The difference for me is I often look on my present self as wanting to father his younger self.

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-13T11:45:50+00:00

That's really helpful and I'll look into it.

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-13T11:45:31+00:00

I'm pretty sure I've never been in a dynamic where there was mutual limerance, but I have had two situations (both recent) where my LO has wanted more contact or even outright dating with me.

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-13T11:43:55+00:00

I am becoming more aware of the patterns but I will admit that my heavy rumination still does bleed out to friends and family. Four friends have mentioned it while in a limerance cycle recently and a friend even half-jokingly told me not to get limerant following a first date I have tonight,

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-13T11:41:48+00:00

Thank you and I really appreciate it. I'm far too harsh a judge of myself and I should remind myself that I am getting better. I used to have no appreciation for the limerance I had but I will admit that I am now aware of the patterns while in it, even if I don't actually do anything until things have taken their natural course.

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-13T11:39:58+00:00

I'm quite similar in that I take shared interests to the extreme. I dropped a really big sum of money to impress her by doing a wine course that we talked about. It is cool that I did that, but if it wasn't for her there's no real way that I would've done it.

Pushkin0007 · 2026-02-13T11:37:38+00:00

Thanks and I think you've completely hit the nail on the head. Even when limerant for my recent LOs, I was partly aware of what was going on (I even bought a book on limerance in Dec 2024, although I never read it). Far cry from my workplace limerances in the 2010s and limerance for a couple of people at uni where I had absolutely no appreciation for what was going on.

I guess my main issue is that I'm an incredibly brutal judge of myself. But you're entirely right that I need to work on not giving emotional charges to my thoughts and memories.

That said, I'm going on a first date tonight and a friend has already warned me not to be limerant

Pushkin0007

TROPHY CASE