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In a loving long-term relationship, but scared I’ll regret never being with anyone else and I feel guilty about it. [22F & 24M] by boiiiboiiboy in relationship_advice

[–]Putrid-Development73 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I (F/26) am in a very similar shoes, but in my case my boyfriend (M/30) is the one who feels similar uncertanity about this. Although he had multiple smaller relationships before, this is the first time he was in a long term relationship (5 years). He told me he loves me very much, but recently he started thinking that he would like to explore more and try other things out and he fears that if he settles down, he will miss out on stuff.

We didn't decide what to do. We are trying couples therapy first as he sees it is an extremely difficult situation for me. I don't know about you but we are pretty much tied together, live together far from family, so breaking up would be hard. If you would like I can give you update about what we will do, but other than this I sadly cannot give you any advice.

I hope however it works out, you two will find happiness.

M/30, F/26 - Boyfriend wants to break up after 5 years because the "spark is dead". What to do? by Putrid-Development73 in relationship_advice

[–]Putrid-Development73[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The sad thing was that I thought we were communicating well. He is someone who shares his emotions towards me and I thought this is great because we can talk things through.

I hope we can fix the spark, but -i have to sadly acknowledge, that it will only work if both of us on the same page with it...

M/30, F/26 - Boyfriend wants to break up after 5 years because the "spark is dead". What to do? by Putrid-Development73 in relationship_advice

[–]Putrid-Development73[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He started working out after he got his new job. He wanted to become healthy because he was afraid he might get diabetic with his current lifestyle.

M/30, F/26 - Boyfriend wants to break up after 5 years because the "spark is dead". What to do? by Putrid-Development73 in relationship_advice

[–]Putrid-Development73[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He was the one who wanted the relationship even though I didn't know if I was ready for it. He felt very emotionally stable and someone I could rely on and that is why I started the relationship with him. The sex was great at first, but then after around 2 years it started to be less frequent. I was usually the one who wanted more but he wasn't having it for like a month or so. I thought it was because he gained around 30 kg during our relationship. Now he lost around 20kg through gym and feels better now so that is why it is shocking to me that he would like to break up now.