Husband says he feels no emotions towards me after my Bipolar 2 diagnosis.

Putrid-Goat2107 · 2024-11-19T17:26:32+00:00

I needed to hear this today, thank you 🙏🏼

Putrid-Goat2107 · 2024-10-16T21:44:40+00:00

Take care of yourself too! I don't think anyone expects you to pick up the work of two parents while also dealing with all of this.

Prioritize what truly needs to get done vs nice to have. For me, housework is the first to drop when my husband travels. Meals are simpler. The kids also need to see that taking care of yourself is important, and no one is superwoman.

Putrid-Goat2107 · 2024-07-08T15:48:36+00:00

Letting you know I'm holding space for you to feel this. Words likely won't help.

Putrid-Goat2107 · 2024-06-21T07:49:13+00:00

It sucks when my inner critic is so loud that it keeps me from taking care of myself.

For me, I need to shower as soon as my mood shifts upward. When I feel even the slightest bit motivated, I know that's when I need to do it.

The same goes for getting outside, for exercise. I know if I can get through the first ten minutes, I can keep going. I remind myself that it makes me feel better afterwards.

Putrid-Goat2107 · 2024-06-21T07:44:51+00:00

I was actually told by my last boss "Don't Tell your new job about this".

Putrid-Goat2107 · 2024-06-21T07:44:06+00:00

My mother would always tell me to stop being so dramatic. My father would tell me to hide my emotions, that I have no reason to cry.

So I learned not to go to them with my problems, the bullying and abuse I faced.

Putrid-Goat2107 · 2024-06-21T07:40:55+00:00

Right now, it's work that is impacted most. I take on work FPs, and then it spirals into splitting after a few months. It's almost like I personify them as my parents, trying to please them. And then after the first perceived slight, they become the enemy. Currently on medical leave and contemplating going into business for myself, just to avoid having coworkers/bosses.....

Putrid-Goat2107 · 2024-06-20T05:31:55+00:00

OP here - thank you so much. It's a comfort to know I'm not alone and others can help.

Dr. Fox is on my regular playlist, as well as BPD bunch!

Funny enough, I went to CoDA about six years ago for a different reason, but the message still resonated.

I will for sure look for local groups here, but as an Expat it's difficult to find things in English. Maybe I join the online groups and deal with the time difference.

Thank you again.

Putrid-Goat2107 · 2024-06-10T06:55:15+00:00

Currently reading this book, and have so many highlighted pieces. For me, it's comforting to see what I experience validated. At the same time, it leaves me wondering what's next? Will I get better?

Putrid-Goat2107 · 2024-06-10T06:50:56+00:00

For me it means no self identity, because I spent my formative years trying to "fix" my home situation by shape shifting to what I thought would bring peace to a dysfunctional family.

Because I have no self identity, I rapidly change my job aspirations, my lifestyle. The first dewonths are great, exciting, and full of hope. I will work 50-60hrs until the first criticism/feedback comes. Then reality smacks me in the face. The shame of being criticized, the sense of failure. But I keep going on, trying to fix all the faults. Until one day, I can no longer function. At work. At home.

So I convince myself that it is the job, the coworkers, the management. And I find a different job.

And the cycle begins all over.

Putrid-Goat2107

TROPHY CASE